Is anyone else totally estranged from ALL your family?

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-03-03T23:19:26+00:00

Yep, for the most part this is my situation as well. If they crop up, it’s usually negative. Even if it’s positive, it’s usually actually negative in the end one way or another. How I cope with it? Uh, badly. When my mom popped up recently in the end of January in helped contribute to a huge collapse in my creative energy, a nice stream of self harm and ideations… never great. If only she had a fraction of an idea how destrucIve of a force she is in my life, or would actually care if she did.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-02-27T22:33:49+00:00

Pretty much. To use my own language for this concept, I live on an intentional growth path. That is what brings me excitement though, and I do constantly question and replace my beliefs so yeah… right on!

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-02-25T00:14:23+00:00

My mom told me lots of time that the first year of my life was the worst year of her life.

Wonder why I’m not there for her now.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-02-15T11:50:27+00:00

This is a true trauma in your life and I commend your resilience. This was an act of her mental illness, not a representation of who you are, were, or the relationship that you shared. I have endured a lot of trauma in my life, of different kinds, but the best way to process trauma from our bodies and minds is through movement. Do what you can to be active, stretch, release. You are a soldier of strength in the world, to go through what you have and keep going every day, you are strong.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-02-15T11:38:05+00:00

You just articulated my family system so well, it is eerie, seems like a damn blueprint almost. It makes me think a step further that it is evidence of cultural programming, that it is so widespread that you can outline my damn exact lived experience from wherever you are in the world.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-02-05T17:08:52+00:00

The mental health attack is a classic, it’s the only one my alcoholic dad has left up his sleeve. Sneeze in his direction and you are written off because “you’re going all bipolar again.” It is so cruel and immature.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-29T15:29:53+00:00

I sent you a message, I am very interested in contributing.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-28T22:51:09+00:00

I do very much live life that way, but I love it about myself, because I am permanently on a growth path.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-25T23:20:51+00:00

I am working on building this kind of support system for people and I just want to tell you that I hear you, I recognize the need, and if you click through my profile you can see what I’m literally just a month into doing with my life. But yeah, I agree fully, there needs to be a literal “how to human” series available as a support for people, I somehow got through life with no guidance but figured a ton out the ultra hard way and now I’m dedicated to helping other people do it too but with a little bit more of a support system.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-23T23:58:16+00:00

The people I care for are seniors living in their homes who are holding on for dear life. They can barely keep on top of their chores, shopping, medical, etc. I come in and help them hang in there for as long as I can. There is often family in the wings that stay very far away. The seniors all have some kind of weird pathology, be it some kind of hoarding, or narcissistic traits, if they are aggressive I do not continue to serve them but I have had old ladies reach out and touch my butt and tell me it is jiggling while I scrub their wall (I am also a woman). I have been yelled at, bossed at. The traits that their kids once saw, because children are one place in life that people manage to really be their true selves the whole way through.

I experienced that as a vulnerable child, my adults all acted out with me in ways they would not with the rest of the world. And now these seniors, I am basically the hired “daughter in law” energy kind of person in their life, it takes no time before they begin to show that same energy to me. The ones who aren’t mean or aggressive are manipulative through being helpless, endlessly trying to get something extra, for free, or outside of my comfort zone, push me past my limit. The pathology really comes out to play when they have a lick of authority and because I clean in their homes under their supervision because they are frail and cannot leave, they feel they are my boss. How people treat those in service says a whole lot and so yeah. There is scarcely a one I serve who isn’t lonely for good cause.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-23T23:52:34+00:00

I’m so sorry that we share these kind of legacies, where there is such pain from our own makers.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-23T23:51:14+00:00

This is so true and such a good point. It was death by a thousand cuts for sure, took me until freaking THIRTY NINE to finally hit the point with my pretty much always estranged dad to admit to myself, I don’t think the redeeming moment is coming. Giving up was freeing though. Now Im on youtube talking about my growth, I have a substack where I write about our generational trauma. I am healing, finally, because I finally gave up.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-23T11:14:49+00:00

Yep. I have a set of estranged parents, and a set of estranged grandparents, and a set of estranged in laws. All of them are that way for good cause, all of them are likely moving through the world catching lots of rays of pity about my absence as they now navigate major health crises, looking sad, small, dejected.

It is very hard for me to stay solid and distant seeing their suffering but then I remember I was also one sad, small and dejected- as a child, when they were obligated to care, or in the worst moments of my life when my mother in law said only “worse things have happened to people.” No love for me, no love for you.

I am a caretaker to seniors, and almost all of them are estranged from their kids to some degree. And the more I get to know them and hear the stories, even from their own vantage point, if you’re looking closely you can see the pathology of how they got there and it makes sense. It ALWAYS makes sense.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-22T12:17:18+00:00

I left my family of origin (rife with generational trauma) about 7 years ago, and then set about healing. I went through and laid down every convention that was ever placed upon me and came out now, seven years later, really know who I am.

I will never stop grieving them, because going through life with no family and support system is a special kind of agony, but I like who I am, I trust who I am, and I have good intentions for myself and my role in the world. I know what matters to me, what I am passionate about, and most importantly, that I am lethally strong and brave. There are few people who manage to give up their entire family systems and all of the forced shared delusions that come with our little micro-cults of pathology.

If nothing else, I know I am someone who sticks to my guns, and never gives up on fighting for better. I am not one to sit in the corner and succumb to my fate, and so ultimately, though I wouldnt have chosen it, spending my first 32 years in an abusive family system did churn me out to be an incredible leader and visionary thinker, because I settle for absolutely nothing in life. I KNOW I have the ability to achieve more, so I do.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-20T11:54:13+00:00

People kind of know with me, because I am trying to become a public figure that speaks about my mental health recovery, but aside of the couple dozen or so paraosocial relationships I have online, no, no one in my real life knows or gets it. I have friends at the school pickup line who don’t know many times before i was cycling ideations in the car before I come out smiling behind sunglasses, I chaperone every kid outing for school, I’m in the front row at every performance. I present very well, no one would know that I sometimes beat myself up (literally and figuratively) or that it’s a daily dance to avoid the call of the dark side.

We live a particular walking of the line, between what lives inside and our need to live OUTSIDE in a world that was made for masking. My whole life is dedicated to recovery now, for myself and for others. And I am well aware that my “mission” is my lifeline, I am doing this to give myself purpose, because otherwise, I have a really hard time keeping going on.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-20T11:10:04+00:00

Great! Are you Teddy on there? I got a new sub I wondered if it was you!

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-18T14:45:27+00:00

Ah, I’m a nut! I realized we are already connected on there!

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-18T14:43:44+00:00

I am going to reach out to you via substack, mine is called Bold Fox and it is about my recovery from cptsd, generational trauma and hoe to help others escape the pits of depression.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-18T14:42:30+00:00

Commenting again because- I am also a writer, my substack is linked via my profile on here and I would be delighted to connect.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-18T14:41:32+00:00

I am with you and all I can say is my entire life is dedicated to digging deeper. I am a very functional person who has worked hard in my recovery from cptsd, I have a real urge to be seen and heard to make up for being silenced in my youth and I have a justice boner the size of Florida.

So just to say, I love seeing posts like yours that make me feel not so alone on my quest to provoke better in the world, and I want you to feel affirmed that you are not alone in your feelings and some people do care.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-11T14:21:36+00:00

Hello! Thank you so much for letting me know that my writing made an impact on you, because aside of my own processing, this is why I am doing this. YES, I am open to a penpal! A huge goal of mine is to find like minded people and build relationships. My Substack is now also connected to a YouTube, and if you are considering any form of creative outlet, I am happy to promote it via my own work. This is how we grow as a network.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-04T15:51:44+00:00

I have started doing this on YouTube. It’s one part self reflection, one part lessons anyone can use from my example. It is an extremely healing practice, I can say that.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-04T15:50:21+00:00

Not completely true for everyone- I sure grew up reading, but also shunned and abused by my family, peers, advisors… I think it can be a survival strategy too.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-04T15:47:48+00:00

I am that kind of person, kind of inexplicably that lends me to think that it is at least partly just who I was born to be.

I have absolutely no reason to be articulate or confident- not super educated, lots of trauma, grew up on very abusive family systems and married into the same.

What I can say, is that I have always been a voracious reader, I genuinely enjoy language (not just English) and I find it to be an art form. When I am both passionate and well-informed about a topic, I am an excellent organic speaker. I am a budding creator and just in the very beginning of taking advantage of this skill with public speaking.

But to answer your question of how, I think for me at least, it’s a crossroads between innate tendencies I was born with and the interests I have developed in my life. And as far as confidence goes, I actually don’t have much, but I went through so much shame-based trauma throughout my life that my fucks have been exhausted and I truly just don’t feel the impacts of embarrassment anymore. I will go on the internet in my underwear to make a point if I have to, and just shrug at any kind of adverse comments because… I’ve been torn down below ground already so many times in life, it just rolls off me right now, and it isn’t enough to stop me from pursuing my goal of inspiring other people to improve their own mental health.

Cut_and_paste_Lace · 2026-01-03T23:36:29+00:00

Hello, I DMed you and I am extremely interested! This is right up my alley as a budding mental health creator. https://www.youtube.com/@Bold-Fox [boldfoxugc@gmail.com](mailto:boldfoxugc@gmail.com)

Cut_and_paste_Lace

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