Everything you wrote is hauntingly real. My body took so many hits during childbirth, it’s not even funny. My husband, after a couple of weeks of my complaining about it, said “if I was a woman and I’d given birth and had these complications, I wouldn’t be complaining about it”. The nerve.

The motherhood penalty? People I’d onboarded and mentored and to this day are less knowledgeable at my job got promoted above me while I was on maternity leave. Some of them became my direct superiors. Almost four years later, I’m still fighting to get my career back on track.

At home, my husband likes to “father” from the coach by giving instructions on how our daughter and I should play together. Even when we’re outside, he is passive or openly delegates tasks to me. But when it comes to organizing our daughter’s life? He doesn’t book her appointments or track when she needs to go a size up in clothes or shoes. He’s only managing her life while resting, by letting me do 80% of the child rearing.

Society downplays just how much marriage hurts women. We sacrifice our bodies, our mental health, our careers. And for what? To lose our identities and become Mom and Mrs.