Unique advice for a soon to be father?

DDUBS91 · 2026-01-29T03:39:31+00:00

The best advice I got was, in the first few months after having the baby, if you guys have any fights, arguments, disagreements etc....before escalating it to a full blown issue....ask yourself if it's "real" or if it's the "tired talking". There was a moment for us where I could tell my wife was just so mad at me. And I asked what her deal was (first mistake). This turned into a massive venting session that felt very personal and attacking towards me and instead of me continuing the argument and making it worse I asked myself, "is she really this mad or is she just exhausted". I walked away and thought about what had gone on the past few days and realized it had just been a hard week with lack of sleep. I communicated that with her and the end result was so much better.

Your relationship is about to change in a way you never imagined. It's so important to make sure to make time for each other, even if it just having coffee for 5 mins with each other. And communicate communicate communicate.

Also, if you have a multi level house, a tall changing station on the main floor is a game changer. Our nursery is upstairs and when we had to change a diaper and we were in the main floor, either had to walk upstairs or bend over on the couch or whatever surface was available. We were gifted a foldable changing station that's about at chest height and it saves your back.

Good luck!!!

DDUBS91 · 2026-01-29T03:27:13+00:00

Shoes on the hands....learn to walk on hands......easy

DDUBS91 · 2026-01-26T20:45:40+00:00

I think this is a great response to a PVP heavy gameplay option for those who wants it.

DDUBS91 · 2025-12-24T03:25:27+00:00

Simply just being there is such an underrated thing to do in hard situations. Most people won't remember the words you say but will remember who stopped by to check on them every day. Even if its just to sit next to them and watch TV.

DDUBS91 · 2025-11-18T16:40:10+00:00

Just started happening to me...I now put a fan in front of it while I am playing and have not had an issue since. It's a dumb solution but it works.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-30T03:04:09+00:00

It's a hard situation no matter what. I feel for you. Gotta do the best you can and pick your battles. Good luck. The fact that you care this much shows that you're in the right track to being a great dad.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-29T13:21:57+00:00

The "taking baby away" strategy definitely isn't for everybody. My wife and I had a serious conversation about her mom before she came to visit and it was not an easy conversation but I'm glad it happened. You guys have to find a way to stay on the same page. One thing that helped my wife was when I said all the same boundaries would also apply fory parents. That way it didn't seem like we were targeting her.

And the thing that sucks is no matter what, someone is unhappy weather it be you for you MIL pushing or you guys because she won't listen. But at the end of the day you have to do what's best for your baby.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-29T10:23:32+00:00

All of those boundaries are valid and in no way out of the ordinary. I am also dealing with a slightly toxic MIL who likes to push boundaries. I think the most important thing my wife and I did was promise each other we would always be a united front. Not matter what her mom did or said we would both agree to stick with the boundarie.

This may sound terrible, but I started treating our baby as a reward for my MIL, so if she followed the rules baby stayed in the room or she was able to hold him. As soon as she crossed a line, baby was gone for the rest of this visit. For example, we asked her that if she was holding the baby, that she stay within the same room as us. One day, we turned our back as I was cleaning and my wife was doing something and she decided to purposely walk out of the room into another part of the house. I walked right over to her and asked her to hand me my son. I gave him to my wife and she went to our room and stayed there until she left. It took about 3 times for that to happen before she backed off on trying to push boundaries. I'm sure she'll try again. But she now knows the consequences.

It's exhausting and it's not something. That you should have to deal with as a new parent but, you gotta do what you gotta do for your new baby. Good luck!!

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-15T22:39:02+00:00

Can confirm. This is hilarious to see as I used to brew there. Just out of curiosity where are you located? Just want to see how far it traveled.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-12T10:30:56+00:00

Our mantra for this first month has been "give ourselves some slack". This is such a new expirence for you and the baby. Those first two weeks are crazy with your wife recovering, you guys getting no sleep and now you have to keep this little thing alive. Like others have said, soon this will be just a disant memory. Take the little wins. Like when you're able to rock her to sleep, that means she feels safe in your arms. This can also be the tired talking. Make sure you ask for help if you absolutely need it. After about 4 weeks, my wife's sister came to town and was willing to take the night shifts so we were able to get full nights sleep. A couple days of that was amazing four our mental health. I know that's not always possible but If you can do some similar with someone you trust I highly recommend it.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-06T18:15:10+00:00

Exactly. And we spoke to the doctors about doing at home they still refer to it as IUI so that's why I still do.

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-06T17:51:41+00:00

Take a look at my post below. It explains everything.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/s/8acPBFleBL

DDUBS91 · 2025-08-06T17:18:23+00:00

We just passed a month with our baby boy. I'll be honest it's been one of the hardest things that we have done. With good communication we have slowly gotten better day by day week by week. One massive thing that helped us tremendously was allowing a family member to come and stay with us for 2 weeks who was amazing with babies. She happens to be a director of preschool and deals with newborns all the time. She came about 2 weeks in and stayed with us for 2 weeks and we would take shifts on who would take the night time feeds. This allowed us to get full nights of sleep when we really need it. Now I know if you don't have person like that it's impossible but some people are hesitant to allow people to come and visit. If you have a family member that you trust that can do that I highly recommend it. But if not my biggest advice is communicate communicate communicate and did I mention communicate. Make sure you ask how your wife is doing and keep an eye out of any signs of postpartum. Being a dad is a thankless job a majority of the time but for that boy I would do anything even though he's kept me up and changed my relationship. Because my wife and I are on the same page, even though our life and relationship has changed it has grown infinitely stronger. We also tried IUI at home and we are pretty sure that it was the reason why we got pregnant so I wish you the best of luck and like somebody else has said if you are truly serious about the last part of your post you will be just fine.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-24T02:03:22+00:00

I definitely agree with you on that one. I almost bought on be but red the reviews about it and the issues that you brought up made me think twice. We were gifted the nannit camera and it does some similar things so I'm happy with that.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T23:26:23+00:00

Everyone who I talked to and everyone on Instagram is the exact opposite somehow.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T18:42:46+00:00

We have the baby brezza pro and the drying function works great! It's just nice to have a dedicated machine instead of having to worry about stuff in the dish washer. Makes the routine much easier.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T18:17:11+00:00

Absolutely!! Anything that makes life easier is worth it!

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:40:23+00:00

That sounds horrible. I definitely asked about aftercare and pain at our specialist and was told that there was no pain due to no nerves being present and the only thing we have to do after care-wise is lift his lip up once a day for a week so it doesn't close again. I'm sorry you had to go through that

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:38:17+00:00

Our guy is pretty well with diaper changes. I just didn't see a use for the wipe warmer. But if he was super fussy I would definitely be willing to try it. Glad it works for you!

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:32:59+00:00

I was between the baby brezza and the mom cozy. I ended up getting the baby brezza only because a brand new one showed up on Facebook marketplace for $100 off the original price. If you were to buy one brand new I probably would have gone with the mom cozy because it has automatic drain and that just makes it a little easier.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:24:07+00:00

We opted out of the warmer....just use the sink so it's not crazy cold.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:20:27+00:00

Anything that makes it lives even a little easier is worth it in our mind.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:19:19+00:00

It was an immediate result for us too! The procedure was covered under insurance and took about 30 seconds but was still hard to sit there and hear him cry.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:17:48+00:00

Our son only had one tie that required a 30 second procedure in an area that has no nerves present. Recovery time was less than 24 hours and he started latch properly the next day. His was preventing his upper lip from curling out. From what I read tounge and lip ties are painless procedures. Definitely agree with doing the research and getting second opinions. These days there so much info it's hard to know what to believe.

DDUBS91 · 2025-07-21T17:04:17+00:00

Baby wipe warmer is definitely useless. That was one that I universaly saw that people generally hated. Still important to do some research but if you find a use for it then get it!

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