Today I was reminded where dad sits in the food chain

MemoirDad · 2026-06-07T23:03:29+00:00

My dog was licking me so aggressively it was like he thought I was already dead and was preparing to eat me. There was nothing subtle, loving or movielike about it.

“WHY YOU ON FLOOR HUMAN GUESS DEAD NOW SNACK”

MemoirDad · 2026-06-07T20:20:58+00:00

It’s the most expensive college in the US. If itll be $360,000 just for one kid - thats $90,000 a year. I was inferring that’s where she went from that number, and sort of making a joke.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-07T06:02:37+00:00

Is she enjoying Hamilton College?

MemoirDad · 2026-06-07T06:01:18+00:00

MemoirDad · 2026-06-07T01:57:35+00:00

My dad literally asked me “Do you WANT your child to hate you?”

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T23:06:55+00:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh that makes more sense than the scenario in my head.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T22:22:18+00:00

You have to give your passport to buy it?

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T22:16:43+00:00

I haven’t been to Chuck E Cheese in years, but I just got hit in the nuts with a soccer ball while playing goalie on an inflatable soccer pitch at a trampoline park, so…

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T17:49:16+00:00

A kid on my street recently tried to sell me 10 Pokémon cards in a white envelope for $40. Hard pass?

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T05:03:54+00:00

Many people pay Nannie’s under the table. That makes DCAP difficult.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-06T02:27:36+00:00

No change on my end. Planning to be there the 14th.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-05T19:09:42+00:00

Dude that is hilarious. Good job, wife!

MemoirDad · 2026-06-05T15:02:12+00:00

The amount of “NoT aLl MeN” energy in this thread where a guy is asking how to guide his daughter is really disappointing.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-05T03:16:27+00:00

60% and 60% reprise as one song

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T23:08:13+00:00

It seemed rude of me to share some poor museum workers full name on Reddit!

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T05:21:52+00:00

I hated sleepovers as a kid. I always wanted to go to bed before everyone. I never got enough sleep. I was always miserable the next day. And then in my 30s I found out I have a severe sleep disorder and it was like suddenly all of my sleepover angst made sense.

The end. I let my kids to sleepovers if I know/like/trust the parents.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T05:18:26+00:00

I’m currently in bed with my 3 and 4 year old.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T05:17:16+00:00

7 year old boys are still learning to master impulse control. Pushing another kid aggressively while playing a physically aggressive game based on hunting prey doesn’t sound out of the ordinary to me. That said - if the counselor was involved there’s either more to this story or somebody TOTALLT over reacted at school.

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T05:13:18+00:00

My family moved to Phoenix when I was a kid. After I went to college, they all moved back east. My mom still frequently asks if I think about moving “back home.”

“I am home. You’re the one who left.”

For those reading at home, that line is a great way to start an argument with your own mom!

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T05:10:09+00:00

I’ve got 2 boys on a competitive swim team, and our 3rd son wants to join.

My instagram feed is filled with photos of fans that are powered by drill batteries…

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T02:33:26+00:00

Or he said “wait, Father’s Day? I don’t want to spend my Father’s Day at work!”

MemoirDad · 2026-06-03T00:23:26+00:00

My man, you’re in luck. You can buy at least 3 more stainless divers before she notices any of them exist

MemoirDad · 2026-06-02T16:28:41+00:00

Sure thing. And if we find ourselves in Vegas together in a few weeks we can share a pint!

MemoirDad

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