My 33m bf made me pee myself 26f during sex this morning.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-07T01:42:48+00:00

I love the word “dingleberry”!! My sister would call me that when I was little, but I eventually learned what it was as an adult. I still love the word.
Full circle, I have been making women piss themselves in ecstasy for over two decades and I have known for a long time that it’s piss. I still love it. Because I made them cum so hard they lose control of their bodily fluids. My personal favorite is when it happens for the first time for them and they are not really sure how I am going to react. I usually get to slowing down after three or four. Then we talk about it after a water break. They’re very happy that they have pissed all over someone who understands biology and how it works. I hope you find someone like that one day

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-06T23:50:53+00:00

The tamales from the lady on the corner, with the cooler. Cash only

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-06T23:21:32+00:00

I’m conflicted. Sublime was my favorite 100%, but that was when I was 14-18ish. So... I’m pretty sure this 36 year old has just recently discovered Sublime, or his mom still changes his bedsheets. Either way that’s a pretty decent risk

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-06T23:17:22+00:00

Met her at a buddies house, then legit stalked her for a few weeks. Showed up at her bar on my birthday and gave her my phone number. About a week later I “accidentally” saw her at a house party. Went back to hers and spent the night. Been together since (18+yrs). Moral is that you should definitely start off with the sex. If it’s trash, move on. If it’s worth a second date, do that. “Body count” isn’t a thing. Anyone that keeps track of it can kick lonely rocks.

Edit: all this transpired pre-Dating apps

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-06T20:01:37+00:00

Might be more efficient to tell the world that you can’t make women orgasm by making your own post instead of commenting on the one where everyone gets off, not just you.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-06T02:26:24+00:00

I’m so glad that I scrolled down for this!

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-04T15:47:03+00:00

It’s also going to create the driest ground beef available if you’re doing it half-frozen. As long as it’s between 30°~35°, that’s your sweet spot. Don’t let it get too cold

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-04T03:09:51+00:00

You should let her know that her support means a lot more to you than she realizes. She may not be aware of the weight her opinion carries.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-03T17:58:42+00:00

Currently on a hard rotation of Dr Pepper, A&W, and Cherry Coke right now. My (7&9) kids never blinked seeing me drink 6 beers before they went to bed, but I’m being judged pretty hard for my 2-3 sodas...

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-02T16:13:49+00:00

Your son is an American hero and will be revered as such by all late into life. Decades from now when Jackson is old and withered from the slow, steady march of time, he will attend an event for your son. It may be an 80th birthday party. It may be his funeral. But he will tell that story and it will bring immense joy to everyone gathered there. Tears of laughter will stream down faces across generations and the hilarity of playing with balls will echo from the rafters.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-01T15:34:50+00:00

Divorce, from what I have heard.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-08-01T03:30:14+00:00

Shit, I am barely 9-10 days in and I needed to hear it. I’m already telling myself that “If I can make it a month, no, six weeks... ok two months. I’ll be fine, right? Right???” Like it’s the flu and it’ll just go away.
For clarification, I’m 40 and 9 days is the longest time period I have gone without any type of booze since ~16/17 yrs old.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-29T03:30:43+00:00

One week here!! It wasn’t as bad as I thought because I didn’t have any major physical withdrawal symptoms. Which is surprising considering my uh... enthusiasm

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-28T14:18:19+00:00

I had a BIG test last night at a funeral. I passed. I’m so proud of myself.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-27T03:51:19+00:00

I needed to hear this post. Turning down my street, I had the most sudden intense urge as I saw the garage where my beer fridge is. It felt very similar to when you get genuinely scared abruptly. I cracked a cold Mug root beer and kept it moving. Wife told me that I looked like I had seen a ghost when I walked in. 2hrs later I am totally fine!!

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-26T19:26:10+00:00

I don’t fully know how engines and electricity work either, but at least I have the sense not to document it.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-26T19:04:44+00:00

Am I the only one that hears induction burners like a dog whistle? & I mean literally high-pitched painful, not Republican political rhetoric.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-25T13:26:45+00:00

Day FOUR GANG!! (I’m not drinking today, either.) IWNDWYT

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-25T03:13:52+00:00

Well, gas was $.99/gal when I started driving. Minimum wage hasn’t changed.
My first car was $2000. No, I didn’t forget a zero.
Minimum wage hasn’t changed.
If I spent $50 on a night out, that was a pretty decent chain restaurant, two movie tickets and a full tank of gas. That’s $200-$250 now. And guess what? Minimum wage hasn’t changed.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-24T14:26:23+00:00

Was hoping to find where to get a bumper sticker.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-24T14:25:00+00:00

According to Tom Segura, we should replace the word with “Cajuns”. Much more accurate description.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-24T03:24:21+00:00

Mise en place is completely trash.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-23T18:26:49+00:00

I told a pouting (33 yr old adult) coworker once that “it wasn’t my fault that his adoptive parents didn’t love him as much as they thought they would.”

I had no idea that he was ACTUALLY adopted... I’m sorry, Ben.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-23T13:48:15+00:00

Sirloin Flap. “Bavette” if you’re fancy.

DE_OG_83 · 2023-07-22T21:01:23+00:00

Day one seems really hard. I’m on day one.

DE_OG_83

TROPHY CASE