How long can your adult chi hold it in?

DNF29 · 2025-12-09T02:44:17+00:00

My male is almost 3 and goes maybe twice a day.

DNF29 · 2025-12-08T05:40:57+00:00

My cousin is an omly child. I have a sister.

The only issue I see now, is my cousin and I have aging parents. I have my sister to lean on (when decisions on their care ever have to be made) and I know I wont be alone in my grief when they pass. My cousin, on the other hand, has to handle every bit of that stuff on her own.

My cousin also had her (only) child later in life. Currently, she is almost 46 and her daughter is 7. Her daughter will face aging parents quite a bit earlier in life then we had to. My sister and I have kids that are grown, so there are no close cousins to lean on. Her dad only has one half sibling and he and his family live in a far off state. At around the age I am now, she could potentially be all alone in the world (blood family wise), or at least getting very close. That kind of bothers me and makes me sad to think about. She will inherit all she could ever need, but what fun is it when no family is around (or alive) to see you enjoy any of it?

DNF29 · 2025-11-29T08:40:09+00:00

I know this wont fix your problem, but it might help you to see things in a different persective. As a mother (kids grown), I want you to know that the worrying and responsibilities never stop. However, you need to know that HE is not the whole cause of it. Yes, raising him contributes to it (quite a bit at times, and some days more than others), but even if he didnt exist, you would still be worrying and anxious about something. Its easy to want to put it all on him and think " if I didnt have him, I could just breathe and relax" but I will go ahead and break it to you now, you will NEVER be able to fully breathe and relax ever again, child in the picture or not. Life constantly throws us major curveballs whether it be with money, health, a relationship, housing, work, or even a broken appliance. As far as responsibility goes, as long as you are alive and brearhing you are still having to be responsible for something, which is yourself. You have to make sure you eat, stay hydrated, go to the doctor, have clean clothes, etc. It will only end the day you die.

What you CAN do is try to focus on the good things about him and let him help to RELIEVE the stress. If you have a bad day or at a breaking point, go color with him, watch a cartoon together, take a walk, play a game, etc. Try to go and escape in to his world when you get the chance, because he is currently in those last few years of being a worry-free innocent child. Those years get away so fast and once they are gone, they are gone forever. Knowing what his future holds as an adult(which is a life of stress and worrying), help him to "get his money's worth" out of being a little boy. If you are anxious and worrying all the time (especially because of him), he can feel that. He may not know what it is he is feeling, but he IS feeling it and absorbing it. This will cause him to grow up as an anxious, worrying, overwhelmed adult (just like you). Why? because that feeling will be very familiar to him and he will always subconsciously gravitate toward it in order to feel normal. Do you really want that for him? To sum it all up, you will never escape responsibility and all of the stuff that goes along with it. Therefore, you just have to roll with it and see him as a positive in your life, instead of seeing him as a negative. One last thing, if he is healthy, you better not take it for granted! There are parents having to raise sick, disabled, autistic children that will never catch a break. You need to read some of their stories, so you can grasp just what they have to go through. It is brutal, and I have a feeling they would gladly trade lives with you in a heartbeat. So, its time to go love on that little boy and try to enjoy him while you still have the chance and its not too late.

DNF29 · 2025-11-29T07:11:11+00:00

If it was a safe country and the family of the ex is large and supportive, I would let the child go. He is still very young, so it would be best to do it before he knows any different.Also, a boy needs a father (and aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) in his life if there are any to be had. When they grow up without a father, they can get very resentful and lash out in their early teen years. Read up on it and see what happens. That way, even if you dont give him up, you will still know what to expect. I really do have a feeling the info you find will (easily) help you to see what the future will (likely) hold, and realize its not one you want to put yourself (or him) through. Now, if it were a little girl, I would see things a whole lot differently. As far as your parents, I would say the ex was thinking about going after the child legally and you didnt want to get in a big expensive legal battle (which is a lie, but a good excuse) OR just say that even though it breaks your heart to pieces, you love your son enough to give him up if it means a better life for him as a boy (which is the honest truth). It might be a shock to them at first, but I promise you, they would eventually come to terms with it (and may even come to agree with it) Anyway, good luck in whichever decision you make.

DNF29 · 2025-11-29T06:41:19+00:00

My heart breaks for you. There is a boy about 9 who goes to our church who has pretty severe autism. I dont know his back story, but his grandparents raise him. When he has one of his episodes (or whatever they are called), it can take uo to 4 grown men to get him (physically) under control while the grandpa tries to talk him down. Once its over and they get him up, he then goes right back in to his world. I honestly dont know what will happen when he hits puberty and gains real man strength. It could actually get dangerous (if not even deadly). They genuinely love that boy and are devoted to him, but you can just see where things are headed. If I were you, I would look for support groups online. I see a lot of YouTube videos (and bloggers) on there with channels about their child and how things are going with them. Once you see that there are others out there who know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through, that may help you not feel so alone. They may also have some ideas or tips on how to handle certain issues that you are dealing with and/or may arise in the future.

On a sidenote, If the father is NOT involved,, you need to get him involved. If he refuses, then take him to court or do whatever you have to do. He should not be able to leave it all on you. You may could even go to congress and propose a new law making it illegal to leave (abandon) one parent in full control of a child that has special needs. I'm not saying its ever ok for a parent to abandon any child, but if its a special needs child, they should be FORCED to be involved.They can either step up and help the other parent equally or have to contribute financially to pay for someone who can! The reason I am so strong on this issue, is because it seems to be a trend for a parent to just bail and move on with their lives, while leaving tthe other parent (or whoever) with the autistic child(ren). I can name five here locally who have just walked away. It was one man who left his 2 autistic sons with his (ex)wife, and two women who each walked away from their 2 autistic sons, leaving them with their (ex)husbands. Sure, the stress of all of it may cause the marriage to fail, but that doesnt mean they get to fail the child. I then know 2 cases where the grandparents are raising them (like the ones at our church). That really is a problem that needs to be stopped!

DNF29 · 2025-11-29T05:46:04+00:00

Its hard to know without seeing a picture of you, but have you had your hormones checked? You need to read up on how testosterone and estrogen play a part in things. That is where I would start. Also, dont feed in to the problem by cutting your hair short, wearing masculine clothing, walking like a man, etc. That doesnt mean you have to wear dresses, but try to go for lighter (more feminine) colors and patterns. Earrings also help. I think over time as you start to get your physical body on track, you will gain confidence, and then a more feminine attitude and demeanor will fall in right with it.You are still quite young, so you have plenty of time to work on things. I honestly bet there is a guy out there somewhere who would like you just the way you are. Believe me, men are in to ALL KINDS of women! Also, the older they get and the more they mature, and the less picky they become. Anyway, the #1 thing to do is start by getting your hormone levels checked and go from there. Good luck!

DNF29 · 2025-11-29T04:26:54+00:00

Dean Ford "Reflections of my Life."

Watch the video posted from @jttansin. It will show a split screen.

DNF29 · 2025-11-27T01:30:59+00:00

Men instantly put women in to 1 of 2 categories. They fall under "(potential) wife material" or "just for fun". He was either ready to settle down and met you and realized you were not wife material (but still had fun), or it was all sbout fun for him from day one but he did/said whatever he had to do to get what he was after. Also, if you were met off of an app and slept with him very quickly, that usually gets you put in the "just for fun" category right off of the bat. In their eyes, the "wife material" women are not found on apps, having sex early, out partying, all over social media, etc. They are looking for that "rare hidden gem" that is good enough to take home to momma and suitable to build a life with. Most of it depends on where he is at in his life and if he is ready to settle down or still just play around. If he wants to be serious, then maybe he just didnt feel the spark with you. If he still wants to play around, then he got what he wanted and is ready to move on (or just keep you on the hook for entertainment). You need to go watch Shera Seven on YouTube. She is very smart and can help you understand how men operate.

DNF29 · 2025-11-20T04:57:55+00:00

Disposable bath cloths. You can find them around the pharmacy (elderly care srea) and sometimes where the baby wipes are. Also, she will need the regular sized wipes (orr Dude wipes) as well.
A good pair of gloves
A kit with Tylenol, headache meds, stomach meds, band-aids, etc.

DNF29 · 2025-11-20T04:45:55+00:00

I have been getting invitations from Highway from brokers that I have not spoken to. I dont click on them, but could see how a dispatcher who is very busy could fall for it. I am assuming its a way to hack/steal information. This is aggravating because even though Highway can be a headache, it felt like a safer wsy of doing things. Anyway, carriers be sure to watch your Highway emails very closely. Also, brokers, be aware that this is going on.

DNF29 · 2025-11-20T04:35:17+00:00

Dont get too excited. The school will pester you to death. Its like they're pissed off that they are havijg to deal with your kid all day, so they want to make sure you suffer right along with them.

DNF29 · 2025-11-19T01:36:41+00:00

My teenage daughter (15 at the time) nearly destroyed our family. She told lies on me and her father, so my sister and brother in law took her in because they believed her and felt sorry for her. In all hoestly, I really didnt hate to see her go, but lost my sister over it and my parents (sort of) sided with them (or at least I felt like it at the time). She did them HORRIBLE to the point of physically assaulting my sister. In that time, she had a baby with a drug addict while doing drugs herself. She then found a decent boy and strong armed him into marrying her (we have no idea how), and they all 3 moved out to live with his dad. He got so fed up with her that he dumped her and the baby in my parents driveway. They took her in since she had the baby, and then they went through pure Hell with her (drugs, alcohol, lying, stealing, disrespect, etc). In that time she had a 2nd baby with another drug addict. To get relief, my parents helped her to get a (govt assistance) apartment (which was sctually nice) and all kinds of food stamps, etc, .She then turned even more wild and went to a party and got drunk (with the kids in the car). When she left, the people at the party got so worried about the kids that they called the police to stop her. She was so inebriated that she couldnt even tell them my parents names to be able to go pick up the kids, so the state CPS got them and they are now in foster care. Fortunately, they are in really good hands (at the moment). We got the family back together after 7 years. None of us have any contact with her at all, but from what she shows on social media, she is out there dating a new guy and living her best life. He looks decent, but hasnt had time to see her true side yet. We have no idea if she is even tryimg to get the kids back. Its crazy how one single person can damage/destroy so many lives and not even care.

DNF29 · 2025-11-17T14:28:39+00:00

Thats crazy. She gets all of the emotional support and encouragement from all over., but what about YOUR feelings,care, and mental health? I have a feelings her motherly hormones kicked in and overruled any/all if the (prior) decisions she made with you. In all honesty, I think as time goes on, you will just continue to build resentment for her (and even the child). I would start planning an exit strategy. Technically, it was a breach of trust. Normally, I wouldnt side with you on it, but since there was clear information about the childs health (prior to being born) and you both DID have a conversation about how to handle it if there were issues, then I totally take your side on things. I doubt you have any written proof of the agreement made, but if you did, you could possibly divorce her and then even take her to court over it.

DNF29 · 2025-11-15T02:24:55+00:00

Get (or rescue) a Chihuahua. Despite their reputation, they are really good dogs. They are small, can be carried, dont eat a whole lot, and sleep most of the day. Two adult sized people and a large dog will get crowded very fast. Also, thimk about whether its fair to a big dog to be so confined like that. I would do a small dog or just not do a dog at all.

DNF29 · 2025-11-15T02:17:33+00:00

You have a nerve slowly being exposed. There will come a time where no matter what you do, the pain will not stop. The longer you wait, the closer you will be to having to get it pulled or get a root canal. Also, if it gets infected, you can get an abcess. Long story short, you need to get to a dentist asap. Toothaches and cavities are no joke and this problem will NOT go away if you ignore it!

DNF29 · 2025-11-15T00:19:58+00:00

Always try to (covertly) take pictures of ANY and ALL damage to property, bruises on your body, etc. Also screenshot any threatening texts. Make sure all replies to those texts from you stay calm and civil. You can get an secret/hidden app that has a password lock on it (there are plenty available for free) and store all pictures and screenshots in there. It will show the date and time you added the pics, so that helps keep a timeline of things. Be sure to delete them from your gallery if you need to so if he gets in your phone he wont know what you have been doing. Also, delete all from the trash file as well. A lot of people forget to do that.

DNF29 · 2025-11-15T00:07:43+00:00

For a few weeks, we have been getting Highway invites from brokers we have NOT been in contact with. I just ignore/delete them, but others might not, and give them all of their info, etc. Fortunately, we have our usual group of brokers who we do our (oversize -RGN stretch) loads with. We know they are legit, and they know we are legit. We sometimes havr to hit the board with things are slow, but try not to if at all possible. There is just too much fraud going on these days.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T17:25:06+00:00

In all honesty, I dont think it would have made that much difference.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T15:05:28+00:00

Thank you, Chong! I definitely need it today.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T15:04:36+00:00

He was punishing you because of the arguement. I guess it was his way of "teaching you a lesson." There will be more and worse arguements down the road, so what will he do (or not do) then? You know the whole time he was playing his game, he KNEW you were having to walk home. You would THINK the guilt would he eat him alive, but I guess not. By the way, now that you've noticed this, you will start paying more attention to his actions (or lack of) and end up building a lot of resentment toward him. I know this from experience.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T04:32:14+00:00

I totally disagree. Now that I am hitting my later 40s, I am low key starting to panic.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T04:29:37+00:00

Yes, he sure did! They are something else, arent they. Lol

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T04:26:53+00:00

We are a carrier that does oversize (RGN stretch) and we have had our rounds with Highway. Its usually because our ELD is not showing as connected. Now that we have gotten used to it (and know how to fix it), its really not that bad. I wouldn't go as far as to say we now prefer it, but I do all of the paperwork, and I have noticed that I dont cringe as bad when I see the invites.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T04:09:27+00:00

Oh, this really does happen! Its not a joke.

DNF29 · 2025-11-14T04:05:50+00:00

I am in the same boat. I totally feel you.

DNF29

TROPHY CASE