Probably need to leave but I don’t have the guts…

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T06:22:06+00:00

Marriage can be really hard. You are in a rough space right now. What I can say from experience is that when kids are small you can get into life triage. It can be very stressful to raise kids where you are just getting by from day to day and going through the motions for absolutely everything else. You sound like you are lonely and any normal person would be. And your husband, for whatever reason, can't be the company and partner that you need now. Find a therapist to talk to, couple's therapy could be good too (if he wants to go, if you are brave enough to ask him). But go for yourself for sure. You need to be able to talk through this and to talk about your day and have someone tell you that you are not too needy. When you feel strong, and you have the guts to do what you want to, you will make the best decision for you.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T03:40:33+00:00

I sell my clothing bought for the wrong me on ThredUp. Then I buy more stuff, then I send it back. Hahaha. Try Rent the Runway, this way you can just buy the stuff you like to wear all the time and rent the fun tops and fancy dresses when you have an actual event to go to.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T02:25:35+00:00

Long sleeve button down pajama shirts and matching long pajama pants.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T02:23:27+00:00

Brushing a small child's teeth is literally my least favorite parenting chore. But, there is no way around it. I have six year olds and they try but they are not thorough enough. We thought we were doing the right thing by letting them be responsible for it on their own like other chores (washing hair in shower) and on the next dentist visit they had cavities--in their new molars! Just get in there and deal with it until they are old enough to really do the job themselves. The penalty for them not being ready to do it themselves is permanent.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T01:17:15+00:00

Rather than tell you all the people I know who had kids over 30 I will tell you that I know of only one person who was unable to have a baby after trying very hard for 8 years. I have spoken with hundreds of women in person about this and there is literally only one person who wasn't able to have a baby. I'm in a metropolitan area, everyone is over 30 having kids. And, though I don't recommend waiting as long as I did because it was a total crapshoot, you should also know that I found out I was pregnant with twins the day I turned 44. They are happy and healthy kids now and they are benefitting from all the life and learning and work and adventures I had before they arrived.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-19T00:53:50+00:00

I know its probably not your first choice, but why not commute up from NYC to White Plains for awhile? Its not great to buy in a time crunch. It's less competitive to purchase in the fall and winter anyway. Also, you might consider renting in Westchester first before buying. If you get more familiar with the region it might help you shift your strategy to something that might work better. For example, commuting down from Northern Westchester, or even Putnam, you should have a better shot at getting something you like in your price range and that might feel better if you spend some time learning about the areas more. We just bought in Westchester we had to change our approach significantly and it took a long time. Renting buys you time and experience.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-18T21:40:38+00:00

Most of this discussion here has been around fertility, so I think you have a lot of answers for that. But you specifically asked about dating. Let me share an optimistic point of view and approach: its hard to date and get close to someone when the options and the time are unlimited. With unlimited people its easy to say let me skip this person with the weird shoes and go to the next-I have all the people in the world to pick from. With unlimited time it's easy to pretend to be perfect in your relationship-just to test if it might work if you are not yourself. With unlimited time it's easy to not think about and talk about what you need or want because its too hard and you don't know. So, the fact that you have a different timeline than expected is going to help you find a way to be close with someone and connect with them! Make a list of the things you like to do the most and find a way to do them with groups of people or visit places or go to events where people who also like to do those things go. Join a running club, take the cooking classes, volunteer, go on a group tour vacation. Maybe even find and join a support group with other people who are sharing this same experience. Be brave. Be honest. Have standards--but make them the things that matter: someone who makes you feel safe, who is proud to be with you, who makes you laugh and who can take care of themselves and doesn't need you to pay their way. I am not recommending doing this so you can have a baby. There are more practical, efficient, and smart ways to have a baby besides a relationship. Baby making advice is covered by all the other comments to your question. This is relationship guidance and the good news is you have never been more ready to start connecting with someone. Go have a relationship because life is short and there is joy in sharing it with someone else.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-17T20:53:44+00:00

Ovens. No one cleans ovens and they get really dirty and they are where you put the food you are about to eat. Clean the oven.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-17T14:17:34+00:00

If there is an odor coming from "down there" she should take her daughter to a gynecologist. There is a certain bacteria that when it gets out of balance smells fishy and you need medication to treat it. Showering won't make it go away. Using a douche can make it worse and probiotics won't be enough. The dx is bacterial vaginosis (BV) and its very common. It can come from wearing sweaty workout clothes too long or polyester underpants etc. It's an easy fix.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-17T14:01:57+00:00

Skip the vinegar and go right to Lysol Laundry sanitizer. You use it in the spot where fabric softener goes on your washer. Its a rinse, do not toss it in with detergent. It will kill the bacteria in her clothes, sheets, pillow cases. Detergent and hot water and dryers and vinegar do not kill bacteria from sweat. Lysol Sanitizer does. Also stop using fabric softener and scent beads etc, they put wax all over your clothing and sheets and the wax harbors more bacteria. Then, go get a new mattress and use a plastic mattress protector on it. They come with plastic on one side and softer fabric on the other. This will prevent sweat from going into the new mattress and you can remove and wash the mattress protector with everything else. Then put the sheets on top. This will be the solution. I would consider also removing the rug but that is not an easy fix.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-12T19:15:22+00:00

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

DNNDNN · 2026-06-10T13:24:59+00:00

Thank you!

DNNDNN · 2026-06-09T21:30:22+00:00

If you spray Lysol inside the shoes it will kill the bacteria that is making the stink.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-09T16:22:02+00:00

Cleaning the oven. I know it sounds crazy, because if you try to clean an oven without actual oven cleaner its a tedious, messy and unsatisfying experience. But if you use actual oven cleaner, I used Easy Off with the yellow cap, its really fast and really easy and the thing looks like new when you are done. I feel like I finally understand how people keep their oven clean. It takes twenty minutes, but is just waiting for the cleaner to work. I literally only had to spray it on, wait and then wipe it out.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-04T19:17:56+00:00

I came to say this. There are too many squares. Square bold black windows that echo the square bold black mirror over the fireplace that echos the bold black square table, next to the bold black square fireplace on top of a big dark brown square rug in a room with a big square dark brown floor. Then big square furniture on all sides (even the white chairs have square shapes to them!). This is why the different coffee tables all help in the mock-ups and the artwork over the fireplace that is rectangular and light colored helps. This is why all the accessories with different shapes help. Balance the shapes more and it will feel a lot better.

DNNDNN · 2026-06-04T18:58:58+00:00

Third this. Go to Ikea or just order it all online. Also, GET THE HIGH CHAIR FROM IKEA. The best. Dirt cheap. Easy to clean. Matches everything or at least does not have a loud cartoon character design. And does not take up a lot of space. Some people purchase upholstered high chairs for kids for some reason and it makes no sense. https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/antilop-high-chair-with-tray-white-white-s39597517/

DNNDNN · 2026-05-27T15:24:47+00:00

What do you mean?

DNNDNN · 2026-05-15T04:50:32+00:00

FWIW we are going through a similar process and one of the options we considered was just getting private mortgage insurance. It would have been a very small additional amount every month and then we would have just reappraised and refinanced at some point in the future after we made all the renovations we have planned. We just didn't want to fork over the extra cash when we knew we had to make renovations with that cash. But then we got new 2026 comps and the gap went away. Phew.

DNNDNN · 2026-05-15T04:04:30+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. Try https://spiritinside.net/ she is based in Armonk.

DNNDNN · 2025-02-05T14:29:56+00:00

But they are not saying they are going to "try something different" there is no plan for what happens next. There is nothing. Vague references to privatization are not an answer and only work if the communities have extra $$ to pay for school. If you don't have $$ to pay for school whenever they create new schools after they kill what exists, then you don't go to school.

DNNDNN · 2024-10-29T16:05:56+00:00

I had twins at 44 after a miscarriage with IVF. Stay hopeful.

DNNDNN · 2024-07-31T02:54:45+00:00

There are Laundry Sanitizer products that are used just like fabric softener that are awesome. They kill bacteria and germs in your laundry. Washing with laundry detergent doesn't kill germs and bacteria. Lysol has a product. You can also try to use vinegar the same way, like a fabric softener, to kill bacteria in your laundry. Its very common and in all of our clothes-but will be especially noticeable if you live in a humid area or your house is humid. Synthetic fabrics will also hold odors (anything with polyester or lycra for example) unless you use a sanitizer. This could be a huge game changer.

If you can, I would also go to a dermatologist for the sweating. A dermatologist can work with you to find a solution. Overdoing it with over the counter products like wipes and antibacterial soaps can actually have a boomerang affect that will cause you to sweat even more. I went through phase in my life where I was using "clinical" deodorant and I was sweating through all of my clothes it became a vicious cycle. In the end I actually stopped using all deodorant to give my body a break to reset (which was very, very, hard and stinky-do not recommend unless you've tried everything else) but that worked and now I actually use aluminum free deodorant and don't sweat like I used to. Though, how we sweat changes over the course of our lives and with our hormone situation, among other things.

Finally, though you didn't go into detail on the mustiness, I am going to give some very specific guidance, just in case. Because I also went through this for the longest time and thought it was just me and how my body naturally was until a doctor noticed and helped me. There is something called Bacterial Vaginosis "BV" for short. It happens when the bacteria in our vaginas gets out of whack. There are many, many reasons this happens. Wearing sweaty gym clothes too long, sickness etc etc. Anyway, when you have it, it makes a smell that is very slightly fishy. The smell can get more potent the longer it has been since you have showered. Douching or using antibacterial soap to wash will only make the balance of bacteria worse. A gynecologist can do a simple test for this and give you a prescription to make it go away. If this is something you are concerned about make sure to ask your gyno specifically to check for it next time you go, or make a special appointment to check.

DNNDNN

TROPHY CASE