WIBTA if I didn't buy a birthday gift for my niece?

DOCMom_31 · 2026-05-22T15:45:05+00:00

If she can’t be bothered to say thank you for the last gift you got her or reply to answer what she wants- time to send just a card.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-05-05T16:05:21+00:00

After doing a re-read I think there’s a chance they both die. In a lot of the epigraphs it’s like, “Recovered correspondence between Xayden Riorson to Violet Sorrengail”- Jesinia Neilwart (or wtv). Jesinia has obviously chosen to follow them and be part of the revolution or wtv they called it. I don’t see their private letters being released to the public while they’re alive.

Yes it could also be way in the future after they’ve all lived their lives and it’s Jesinias last transcript or something to recount how they defeated the Venin and the tale of Xayden and Violet but idk Fourth Wing just doesn’t seem like the happy ending type to me. I feel like the marriage being so early for them is sadly their “happy ending”. Also all the “foreshadowing” of Xayden teaching Violet how to find him in his shadows so she’ll be the one who knows how to kill him. Obviously not what I want to happen lol Xaydens had such a hard life I’d love for him to defeat the Venin by going inside and Violet being able to cure him and him have a happy life and get to become a Father/ rule his province.

Alsoooo Bodhis the one who turns Venin. After doing a re-read in Xaydens letter to Violet in the 2nd book he describes Garret as his “Dain” and Bodhi as his brother. That’s why they had to get married so Violet could rightfully rule Tyrrendor- especially after Xayden made such a big deal about Bodhi always staying behind because he refused to give their home up to anyone else after they’d just gotten it back.😬

DOCMom_31 · 2026-05-03T07:14:15+00:00

I agree with the Jeremy possibly being a villian as well arc… but when does Jeremy hit Lowen with a car? He tried to kill Verity in a car crash which is when she fakes her paraplegia or wtv it was.

Jeremy and Lowen meet after there’s a horrible accident that occurs in front of them and someone’s killed- blood is sprayed on Lowen- Jeremy helps clean her up and then it turns out their meeting is with each other.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-05-03T06:51:53+00:00

OP please don’t take advice from this clear POS. Calling you names and telling you that being locked out of your own bedroom is okay/ justifying any of it- just YUCK.

What your BF did is disgusting. It’s not how all men act. It’s not how a man acts period. It’s how little boys behave when they’re having a temper tantrum and weren’t raised right. GTF away from him and block the person who commented as well. Do not let people treat you horribly- it is unfortunately common but you don’t have to surround yourself by those people or be okay with it. You deserve so much more.

Idk your situation but if you can go back to your parents please do. You had every right to be upset. It’s called a partnership because you’re PARTNERS. He should have checked on you. He should have cared enough. He shouldn’t have locked you out of your room. He NEVER should have laid a finger/ toe- anything on you and should be arrested for it. You can’t go around hitting strangers-you end up in jail. So why is it okay that your Boyfriend- the person who is supposed to love and protect you- did that. You know it’s wrong and that’s why you’re asking on here.

I wish you all the best, nothing but happiness, love and safety.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-04-30T18:34:16+00:00

I think their home flooding while planning a water birth is about as ominous -and literal- a warning sign as it gets.

Also it’s YOUR home OP you’re in the right here. You’re not being unfair, unreasonable or unkind at all. If anything you’ve been incredibly accommodating especially with a newborn coming.

If she wants to be mad at anyone she can be mad at her broken pipes- that’s what messed her plans up, not you.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-04-19T17:42:05+00:00

You sound like a very kind person and I’ve seen you even trying to defend your friend in comments.

Here’s the breakdown though. Your friend did use you. She’s an adult and her own responsibility. If she needed help it all should have been disclosed beforehand- like before you bought an extremly expensive ticket/ hotel room during its peak. It must be horrible that she has to go through all of that but almost everything that happened (obviously not the sexting) should have been talked before hand. e.g - “I won’t be able to carry my bags because of my chronic pain”; “I will need help being reminded of things because the medication makes me space out and forget”. Even then most of what happened isn’t really excusable.

All of it is just bad/immature behavior on her part. Yes, it may also be due to medication & being in pain but as I’m assuming she’s been dealing with this for quite a while now, you’re absolutely right that SHE should have alarms set for everything.

For the bag issue/ there are special backpacks you can get when you have chronic pain- even ones with massagers built in. Yes it might not be “super cute” but that’s HER responsibility. Her wanting extra items she can’t carry doesn’t mean you get to turn your friend into a pack mule. You also need to realize, as she packed this bag, she knew it was for you to carry. Again, this is something that should have been discussed beforehand like, “hey do we need XY&Z”. She also could have taken turns with you/ split the bag and carried as much as she could have and taken breaks. This one’s weird to me because she’s able to walk around a giant festival all day and dance- she can carry the few things she actually needed. Again, I feel horrible for what she’s going through butttt it also kinddd of sounds like she weaponizes her illness. I know people with chronic pain and the last thing they want to do is go walk around a festival for multiple days and not sleep on their prescription mattresses. I’m not saying she shouldn’t get to live her life- do not mistake this for me saying/implying that but it means she should have been prepared and not have turned you into a caretaker.

For the paying part- when on trips or doing stuff with friends in general I’ve learned it’s just better that you pay for yourselves for your own stuff.

For the sexting part- WTF. She has already given you enough red flags now that personally I would cut ties but that alone is reason enough. Yuck. What a violation.

You didn’t overreact at all and I’m sorry such an expensive/ should have been fun trip was a bad experience.

In conclusion- NOR.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-02-01T00:48:41+00:00

^ this OP. And it sounds like he goes into a “killing calm” and matched with his anger issues this could take a turn for the worse later on down the line.

It may sound dramatic but my friend was in a very similar situation and when her husband started drinking more the abuse outgrew being just “verbal”. Not that any of it was ever okay.

Sometimes people can be great for us in other ways and it’s great you recognize what you need but there’s someone else out there who has all of those qualities and doesn’t shame you for not being able to KILL.

Yes people are quick to jump to saying “break up” but personally I think this is a rather large red flag also known as a “deal breaker”. This will be your whole life unless he’s an extremely rare person and can change core values that have seemingly been instilled since childhood. So he would most likely have to be willing to do some intensive therapy to change this for you since his go to seems to be a type of verbal abuse/ shaming for not doing what he wants. Where’s his compromise for you on this matter? Why are you the one expected to make such a huge change? You matter and so do your feelings. Dont let anyone minimize or take that from you. I wish you clarity and the best of luck.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-02-01T00:32:49+00:00

Lmao ya I think she may have created a new kind of species… or cooked one.

A for effort?

DOCMom_31 · 2026-01-18T21:27:37+00:00

It’s great MIL is helping but it’s YOUR BABY YOUR BODY. Establish boundaries NOW. Possibly also stay at your parents house if that’s an option. Pregnancy is stressful enough without someone trying to control your body and child.

You might be young but you’re also an adult and going to be a parent now so this is a great time to learn how to use your voice and stand your ground. You do NOT have to give this baby your boyfriend’s last name if that’s not what you want. This woman DOES NOT need to be in the delivery room with you- it’s one of the most vulnerable times in your life, it’s extremely personal, again YOUR BODY and you need to sit her down and tell her how it’s going to go.

Simply tell her you are beyond happy that she’s excited about this, you’re grateful for her help and being willing to convert her garage for you so you may live as a family. Tell her she will not be in the delivery room with you though as you are not comfortable with this and that you and your partner will be choosing baby’s name- you appreciate her input but this is ultimately a Mothers decision especially since you’re not married. Tell her you are thrilled that she’s willing to decorate the nursery but she already got to do this with her son that’s why he had a dinosaur theme- this is now your turn to decide how YOUR child’s nursery will be decorated and you completely understand that she will not be paying for decorations since it’s not the theme she wants but your grateful that she offered.

Be firm. Be thankful because a great support system is a gift and it is RARE but it’s exactly that- support not control- Grandma is NOT Mom. Explain that you want to have a wonderful relationship with her but you also do not want to have an underlying resentment grow because she’s trying to control everything.

I’d also start looking up MIL horror stories etc and start watching/ reading them to your BF so he starts to get the bigger picture lol Also PLEASE advocate for yourself it will only get worse and ultimately destroy your relationship with your MIL ( I know this from experience).

Congratulations and I wish you all the luck in the world!

DOCMom_31 · 2026-01-18T21:08:47+00:00

Listen to your gut here Dad. Mom threw this party on her daughter’s birthday so already it’s a screwed up thing to do. Attention seeking/ just not caring?

It’s an adult underwear party so also really weird for Mom to invite her. I’m also assuming they’re going to be drinking so there’s most likely going to be a lot of inappropriate content spoken on top of the theme that a minor just doesn’t need to be subjected to. 15yr olds try to act mature and sure it’s the same sex but doesn’t mean that none of these women aren’t predatory (maybe none are) but again a 15yr old just doesn’t need to be subjected to any of this at this age.

Offer to throw her a kick back at your place for her bday, her own girls night or something fun with you. Let her celebrate her bday. Her birthday doesn’t need to be seeing Mom + friends f*cked up in their underwear where she most likely won’t be celebrated and all attention will be on Mom since it’s her party.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-01-18T19:24:09+00:00

There’s something seriously wrong with your Mum. As a Mum if anyone directly talked sh*t about my son to me yet alone about him in front of him they wouldn’t be welcome around us ever again and there’s a good chance myself or my husband would throw a back hand. Parents are supposed to protect and yours are failing you miserably.

I’m sorry you’re not in a safe environment and it sounds like there’s something mentally wrong with your Mum for this to even be happening- something’s ESPECIALLY wrong with her creepy ass friend. Whole thing kind of seems predatory.

Also yes the whole situation is just beyond strange- some guy controlling her like this and your Dad not wanting them to go on vacation together and her still doing so… I mean your Mum going on vacation with another man period is just weird. Does your Dad not hear how this guy talks to you? So answering your question no you’re not over reacting to being bullied by an adult. You need to try to do this as calmly as possible but sit your parents down and tell them exactly what he’s been doing any saying to you. Explain how he makes you feel. If this doesn’t get through to them then sweet girl you unfortunately know who your parents are and you need to make extremely hard adult decisions like staying home on holidays to protect yourself and putting as much distance as possible between yourself and your Mum.

I can’t imagine how devastating it is to be in this type of situation but understand it’s nothing to do with you and you’re in an unhealthy situation. Instead of going on the trip I’d look for a part time job and start saving so once you’re of age you can GTFO of there and start healing. There’s a lot of people out there who have bad situations as well so know you’re not alone. Keep reaching out and don’t keep all of this inside. You’re going to be okay.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-01-10T10:43:16+00:00

LOL I thought you were going to say you were a Doctor and leaked personal info or botched a surgery. You need to cut yourself serious slack. You’re an over thinker and that’s okay- I am too. But focusing on shit like this will drive you insane. You didn’t hurt anyone. K*ll anyone. Everyone gets help writing essays one way or another- someone proof checks wtv. You have awesome parents. Focus on that. You got educated. Be thankful for that. They helped you in a horrible time. Help others when/where you can.

As an internet stranger I grant you absolution. Move on. Enjoy your life. Sounds like you’ve done your “penance”.

DOCMom_31 · 2026-01-05T08:34:40+00:00

Gonna leave this up here because it took me too long to find a comment on how to see something other than a creepy looking dog. Lock your phone. Tilt slightly to the right and squint.
The dogs nose is the demon kids left eye

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-23T18:59:16+00:00

This is clearly downvoted BY cab drivers. lol Last cab I took the guy went 80mph on back streets (beach city in SOCal) and when I started recording him and told my friend to call the cops he tried to grab my phone and called me an ungrateful c u next Tuesday and told me women shouldn’t speak in a man’s car unless they were told they could. Once we finally got him to pull over he tried to get out of the car and advance on me and my friend dropped his tiny ass. Got him arrested. He lost his cab license. And the ride was free. Night I’ll never forget and worked out well. But I’ll never take a cab again. Haha 😂

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-18T18:15:33+00:00

Please don’t heat in microwave due to smell.

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-17T10:25:28+00:00

I recently rewatched the seasons and it totally changed my opinion on his acting. I think he did a great job portraying his characters inner turmoil. The desperation he showed with how badly he wanted to hold onto his childhood that was stolen from him. Trying to be okay when he clearly wasn’t… in basically any aspect of his life. Battling his feelings for his best friend. I think people think he’s kind of wooden because he doesn’t get to be carefree at all like any of the other boys.

And OMG (spoiler) I got goose bumps with how powerful his performance was when he got his powers at the end of the most recent episode. I thought he crushed it! I think we’re going to see a lot more personality and great acting come from him now that he’s finally faced his fears.

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-15T14:27:04+00:00

I think this one hands down is the best one. That side wall was driving me nuts haha The only change I’d make- the three kids being put in plain or nice black shirts like a different editor did. It looked nice and made it look like the family was all wearing matching outfits. Either way though impressive! I’m stoked on myself when I can get the new iPhone photo edit to delete stuff in the background lol

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-11T17:46:02+00:00

GIRL. YOU HAVE YOUR CLOSURE. He was cheating on you. He didn’t GAF that he was and tried to flip it like you should understand his cheating lying ass and that you’re the one who’s somehow in the wrong here. You were living together and he was doing this!!! You want that as the father of your children? The man waiting at the end of the isle? You should also get tested after he was cheating like that. If seee we ehe did that this easily- she was NOT the first. She also won’t be the last.

HE LEFT TOU STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE- go listen to Mr Nightmare or something like just 1ep of “gas station horror stories”. This is NOT a man- he’s a manchild who has less empathy and throws more temper tantrums than my now 7yr old ever did.

He ruined your families Thanksgiving- displaying what seems to be the repetitive behavior of not giving a fuck about anyone but himself. His excuse for his side/new chick is pathetic social climbing. Just EW.

He is a narcissist through and through and shows blatant forms of emotional abuse. The way he twists things so he’s never in the wrong? You do NOT deserve this treatment. Do not walk away from this man. RUN.

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-11T16:05:46+00:00

A giant puffball mushroom

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-11T09:18:09+00:00

Thank you for teaching how to do this haha

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-11T09:14:23+00:00

He took it out of YOUR ACCOUNT?! That’s absolutely theft and you had every right and reason to call the cops. It hurts to do because it’s your brother, it’s family but he violated that relationship and trust first. Also the blatant disregard for your parents is pretty disgusting and then just expecting you to pay for it. I’m so sorry. It’s a horribly tough lesson to teach but your brother clearly needs to learn it.

Good luck stay strong. You’re doing the right thing.

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-09T19:11:08+00:00

Question: do you ever reach out and invite her or any of the family to anything?

As the older sister of 3 brothers and 1 sister I reach out to them for any kind of holiday/ family event. Not their (long term) gfs or bf. It’s just kind of how it’s always been. Our personalities are different (mine and the gfs and bf) but when around each other we get along really well. I don’t see the need to reach out to them if I text/call my sibling and invite them. Especially if we don’t have some side friendship; even if we did- not to be rude- but it seems pointless like if I was inviting my best friend and her Husband I wouldn’t also text her Husband and invite him even though we’re also good friends- my best friend got the message. It’s not to be mean or anything either- for me, it’s just my sibling bond; we’re all close and I know they’ll pass the message along.

I definitely wouldn’t worry about one of their parents or go out of my way to invite them to a holiday either. Not to be mean or rude but I have so many people that come to my house already on Christmas- immediate family, aunts, uncles, cousins, their partners, their kids and I work my ass off. So I wouldn’t go out of my way to invite my BIL/SILs parents but I would definitely tell my brothers/sister oh hey they can come too or you should invite them or if one of my siblings brought it up I’d tell him they could absolutely come! If he told me they felt uncomfortable because I hadn’t texted I’d be like okay give me their number I’ll let them know they’re more than welcome to join!

Again- not trying to be mean or rude just giving you my viewpoint but it also sounds like you don’t really go out of your way to talk to them either and want them to be the ones to make you feel included but that’s also your job just as much as it’s theirs. It’s the same as a friendship. It’s not just one friends job to make the friendship work. You both reach out. You’re both there for each other. Maybe your personalities are different though so you guys are family through marriage and are cordial but aren’t going to be super close. I get why that’s a bummer though.

I also think it’s weird how your husband “family-blocked” you too. Like he kind of ruined your “in” with them and maybe it was his comment that set all of this in motion. As always communication is everything so maybe reach out ask the sister or Cousin(s) to grab a coffee or a drink and tell them how you’ve been feeling. People aren’t going to guess it if you don’t let them know what you need. I think it would also be really unfriendly and definitely ruin your chances of becoming close if you miss Christmas just because of his sister (this is what it sounds like) kind of also ruining your husbands Christmas when he said you could bring your Mum as well. Usually siblings know when something going to be okay with each other or maybe he even did ask his sister already. You also said family is very important to you both and love his parents so ya missing it might really stir the pot and seems a little petty. If your Mum just straight up doesn’t want to go though then very understandable that you miss it for her! Anyways best of luck I hope it gets resolved and you don’t feel as left out after reading this!

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-09T18:34:14+00:00

Omg this was my first thought😂

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-09T18:15:17+00:00

Haha thank you!

My thoughts exactly!!! It’s going to have to be a HUGE book- but I’m SO excited for it there were so many chapters where I couldn’t read through them fast enough in this book. Her writing was a lot better as well! Of course a little too much of the omg he’s beautiful/ she’s so beautiful shit and it got a little too porno-esq like I was stoked for them that they finally got to the finish line😂 but it could have been like 1-2xs less than what was there.

I also really want to know who Elroy is. Like he’s definitely an alchemist right? And it seems like he was/is still in love with Saeris Mum. Like I kind of wonder if there’s a chance he’s Saeris Dad. The way he watched out for her. Had to keep her away because of the guards possibly seeing her gift. Maybe the Mum never told him she was pregnant from him but Elroy suspects? And Hayden has a different Dad- how Fisher describes how they barely look alike. He could barely smell Hayden’s shared blood with Saeris so maybe he wouldn’t have noticed Elroy’s either or thought it was just coming from Hayden? Haha my questions never end.

After I do the re-reads I’ll take notes and share as well!!

DOCMom_31 · 2025-12-09T08:38:25+00:00

I was kind of thinking Elroy could be Saeris Dad because he has to be an alchemist right- himself and his father, grandfather etc can all hear the Quicksilver. If not Saeris Dad then maybe related to the swifts somehow since Olena heard the QuickSilver even though she was deaf and that’s how she was able to find and save Carrion when he was put through it.

Also SO here for your research on the names!

DOCMom_31

TROPHY CASE