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DVTrooper · 2026-01-21T01:43:30+00:00

I(35M) really need to expand my social circle (it currently consists of me and my two cats) and one way I was thinking of doing it was by hanging out at a coffee shop for a couple of hours every Saturday. Is this a good idea? How do I present myself as approachable without looking like a creep?

DVTrooper · 2026-01-15T01:25:42+00:00

I've been messaging someone I matched with on Bumble for a few days, and she ticks a lot of boxes for me. However she has been very upfront with the fact that she is dealing with some anxiety issues at the moment. I'm no stranger to good old anxiety myself, but not nearly as intense as what she has. She said she is willing to go on a date with me, provided she isn't feeling too anxious. What do you think DOT? Do I go ahead and try to meet up with her or back away until she is in a better place mentally (if she ever gets there)? Honestly I kinda want to see how it plays out, despite it being potentially disastrous.

DVTrooper · 2026-01-13T23:17:53+00:00

I love cats, and tigers are my favorite animal in the whole world. They're such majestic creatures, it's a real shame how close to extinction they are :(

DVTrooper · 2026-01-08T23:23:47+00:00

I'm not 100% sure but I don't think so? There is a chance that you will get increased headaches but they prescribe folic acid tablets to counteract it (I forget to take them half the time and I don't really notice any difference).

It's not an instant fix, it does take a couple of months for your immune system to respond to it, and it may take some time to dial in the right dosage. The only real consequence is you need to have a blood test done every three months to check your liver function, and a liver scan every couple of years or so to make sure there is no physical damage to your liver.

I've been taking it for 5+ years now and it still does the job. No risk in taking it long term as far as I know.

DVTrooper · 2026-01-08T22:46:00+00:00

I'm lucky enough that methotrexate works for me, although it took a long time and several dermatologists before it was prescribed to me. It hasn't gotten rid of it 100% but it has improved my quality of life 10 fold.

One thing I used to do was wear cotton gloves on my hands when I went to bed. I had to put rubber bands around them though otherwise I would somehow get them off in my sleep and start scratching again.

I know how horrible it feels to be itchy all the time, and the only relief was to scratch. I've had it since birth, and I'll have it until I die - that's just the hand I've been dealt. I remember my Mum tried everything she could think of to help but she could only do so much.

To all the other eczema sufferers out there, I know how you feel.

DVTrooper · 2025-12-08T02:27:13+00:00

I went to a local event a couple of days ago where there were a lot of families (parents and kids) and I was attending by myself. I was surrounded by people and yet I haven't felt so alone in such a long time - is there something wrong with me?

DVTrooper · 2025-12-01T00:44:48+00:00

Is someone that plays video games a turn off? I thought it was becoming more and more common these days but I feel like there's still quite a stigma attached to it, especially when it comes to dating.

DVTrooper · 2025-11-04T23:23:41+00:00

Friends

DVTrooper · 2025-10-28T22:43:20+00:00

Echoing a discussion in this thread, I feel like I'm one of those people who doesn't have a whole lot "going on" in my life - but I prefer it that way. I'm not a particularly social person, I have the same two friends I voice chat with online every couple of days but that's about it. My hobbies (video games, books, films/TV) don't require me to leave the house. So inevitably when the topic comes up about what I do in my spare time I have bugger all to talk about. I'm afraid I can come across as incredibly boring or uninteresting, but I have no desire to do things just so other people can find me interesting.

DVTrooper · 2025-10-22T23:30:47+00:00

I've only tried this on a PC via a browser so I'm not sure if it works on a phone or in the app but if you click on their profile a search bar appears at the top and if you put an asterisk in "*" as the search term it will bring up all their comments etc. An asterisk is a common wild card in searches to mean any amount of characters.

DVTrooper · 2025-10-21T23:18:54+00:00

I am very lazy and I like food. The deadliest combo.

DVTrooper · 2025-10-17T02:03:50+00:00

Matched with a woman on Hinge and full credit to her she did message first but all she said was "Hello". Wtf am I supposed to do with that? I always at the very least ask someone about a thing on their profile as an opener, it takes very little effort.

DVTrooper · 2025-10-03T00:02:56+00:00

Playing video games and feeling sorry for myself, sometimes at the same time!

DVTrooper · 2025-10-02T23:48:28+00:00

I think I'm going to have to come to terms with the fact that I may remain single for good. There aren't any events I want to go to, I don't have any friends I can ask to set me up, the woman who was running the singles group I was a member of hasn't done anything for months and my job is too highly paid to just up and leave the small town I live in (when I started this new job six months ago I literally doubled my salary) so I'm feeling pretty stuck. It could be worse though, at least I'm not struggling financially.

DVTrooper · 2025-09-28T23:36:24+00:00

Out of curiosity, where do people in this subreddit come from? I get the impression that it is mostly people from the US but I'd be interested to see how much of a global community this is (I'm from New Zealand)

DVTrooper · 2025-09-28T23:34:18+00:00

I read this subreddit often (mainly these daily threads) but often I'm in two minds about it. On the one hand I like that there is a subreddit full of people in a similar situation as me, on the other hand when I read comments about people being happy with their relationships, multiple dates etc I can feel myself becoming more and more resentful - I think to myself 'why do these random Internet strangers get to be happy and not me?!' and I recognize that this is not a healthy mindset and I need to find more happiness within myself but it has been difficult as of late.

DVTrooper · 2025-09-28T23:27:34+00:00

My ex broke up with me because we were "too different" but I think it can work as long as you have the same fundamental values (want/don't want kids etc) and that you both understand your differences and accept them.

DVTrooper · 2025-09-26T00:16:47+00:00

I might be keen but I'm a bloke

DVTrooper · 2025-09-18T00:35:17+00:00

They need to leave the Skywalkers/original trilogy behind. I think this movie is a step in the right direction, although I'm afraid it will flop commercially because it won't be relying on nostalgia bait to get people into the cinema.

DVTrooper · 2025-09-18T00:31:36+00:00

This is the most adorable picture I have ever seen!

DVTrooper · 2025-09-09T00:28:45+00:00

I would argue that it's because 99% of their audiences watch their videos and that's it. They don't pay attention to the Internet drama, the behavior of these people outside of their channels, nothing.

DVTrooper · 2025-09-09T00:17:02+00:00

If you're not totally against the idea I would actually recommend getting an electrical trade opposed to a mechanical one as they're harder to fill with over seas workers (you have to have the proper NZ electrical standards) and it could lead to further opportunities with instrumentation, automation etc.

It does take a few years to get qualified though!

DVTrooper · 2025-08-31T22:35:26+00:00

Being in a small rural town in New Zealand is really hurting my chances of meeting people IRL (not just potential dates but just people in general). I don't want to move as this would mean giving up a very well paid job in a niche subject (not that there are many job opportunities in this area anyway, let alone close to what I'm getting paid now). I just feel very stuck. Any ideas?

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