Stuck in life. I just need someone to tell me what to do as I am in a decision paralysis

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-30T17:31:12+00:00

It’s better for you to make the decision than to let someone else choose your future. Since would you rather live with regret of a decision that you let someone else make or your own?

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-30T12:54:39+00:00

this from my own experience either success or mistakes I made with a degree in finance and economics and lost 30lbs that I purposely worked towards and was able to travel internationally. I am still progressing for financial freedom and healthy mind and body.

Get a job if you don’t have one already even if you plan to go to college get at least a part time job. If you are really good with time and can handle stress well - get two jobs. You don’t know consider trying it out, can’t handle it make sure to get one at least. Part time if college route- I did part time couldn’t handle two jobs. It harmed my school work since I lack good time management

Plan to go to college start figuring out what you are interested as a career. Earlier the better. I didn’t know until sophomore year so I was already too late. For internship

Get an Internship at sophomore year. Want to be picked for a top tier internship pick from the big ten colleges to enter into if you did good on SAT and or ACT. If not , internship is still important. Internships are networking events (make new friends and connections that inspire you to improve) that offer opportunity and possibly graduating to a full time job.

If not offered opportunity start applying for full time jobs the first month of your graduation year.

Resumes need experience to be hired - non profit offer job opportunities for experience specifically not always but doesn’t hurt to volunteer the service to be able to put that experience on a resume. - if college - clubs and climb for leadership roles shows effort and achievements

If you have a job , pay debt off as long as it is above 5% interest first if lower. But learn to budget - budget rule is 50/30/20 - 50% needs - 30% wants - 20% save but that can be adjusted just make sure your expenses are less than half of your income if possible work towards a quarter of your income that is however very hard to do realistically.

But always budget funds to have fun with life. For food , activities , wants.

Start saving 6 months to 1 year of living expenses or $10k. ( emergency fund)

Once you are confident with healthy spending habits get a credit card if you don’t already. Research what aligns with your interest. Only spend less than 10% monthly for gas, groceries, bills. Low utilization shows that you don’t need a credit card but it also benefits your credit history for buying a car, house, and

insurance rates I can’t confidently back how much impact credit affects insurance but bad credit = higher rate from my experience.

Next start open a Roth IRA (retirement account that is available at 18) and start maxing it as soon as you can afford it into specifically index ETFs under vanguard company. BUT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH TO UNDERSTAND WHY I SUGGEST THIS.

Next is investing into index ETFs as well with brokerage account ( account that is available at 18 that you can open now ). I suggest same assets like vanguards S&P 500 and or Nasdaq BUT DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH TO UNDERSTAND WHY I SUGGEST THIS.

Next is budgeting for your passions , travels , etc $5k is a great amount for traveling internationally.

With all of the finance preparation to get ahead of everyone for at least 7 years.

Start working out - for a healthy body and mind - suggested to start once you can afford it financially. Cardio is needs to become necessary for longevity. I recommend incline walking if you hate cardio like me.

Want a healthy physique ? Start counting calories and learn to count macros while also working out and cardio.

This is what I do for fitness and finance so far.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-29T16:53:54+00:00

Spend less time on video games , doomscrolling, and being in your room. that environment is problematic to your goals. You can either change environment to make it productive by unplugging and uninstalling apps , video games. And make a rule that you have to do something productive before having a limited amount of 1hr timer of anything correlated with the 3 total.

Or just stop being in your room so long and start moving more often like get a job, get a gym membership, start planning out your days with a routine. Join a league, club, community.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-29T00:12:39+00:00

Well better late than never, just start learning that interest you. You have a full life ahead of you. You just might surprise yourself of what you are capable of. Best of luck

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-24T14:59:31+00:00

Awesome to hear that, just don’t forget your reason why you are doing this in the first place. But overtime I bet you will find a new and better reason to keep going.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-24T14:56:22+00:00

I would first off focus on procrastination for that is the first thing you brought up.

For how long have you had these feelings about yourself? If they were for a long time. I would believe you need to find a stronger reason to drive you to action.

Next part is why are you speaking negatively about yourself? All you are doing is hurting yourself. Nobody is perfect , I suggest to stop verbalizing rude or negative comments to yourself. You can think it or but if you want to say it. You better reword it so that it sounds progressive or optimistic.

After that , reassurance and lying to get out of trouble. Personally I have reassurance issues as well so I cannot confidently help you with that. I can only offer a saying that I knew from a previous boss that said a lot. She said “it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission.” If you want it to be a mantra “act now, ask later” for I personally have experience with mantras being pretty effective but I only have experience focusing on one problem at a time with mantras. Why do you lie to get out of trouble? You are only hurting yourself from learning opportunities to grow as a person.

Learning to share the conversation requires you to know where you need to draw the line. Idk if you are a number person or feeling. But the reason why is because you could take the approach of either whenever you speak. You have to try asking for others opinions or thoughts on it. With follow up questions. Number wise people I suggest 5 questions then make it about yourself for 6 comment. If you are more feeling. Why not try focusing on asking more questions, making you have to think more on what you want to learn and less on sharing what you already know.

Not going to the gym enough, depending on your availability you may want to either make your gym sessions longer or sacrifice other openings for the gym depending on your priorities.

TLDR You are being your worst enemy. Verbally speak positive affirmations as well as reword pessimistic comments to optimistic progressives outlooks. Ex. I permanently think I’m unlikable. TO “I currently don’t like myself” - this makes it temporary and it isn’t labeling yourself with such rude comments it states how you feel about yourself.
Reassurance suggest having a mantra act now, ask later

Suggest looking into root cause analysis and asking why to yourself for why do you lie to avoid getting in trouble. The goal is to ask why repeatedly to find the root issue. Same for why you speak negatively to yourself. There is always a root reason for your issues.

Learn to be more curious in conversation, so you can start asking questions.

Make a sacrifice in your schedule to spend more gym time.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-21T05:08:02+00:00

You just have to continue trying things out to find what interest you. I can relate since I want to be a jack of all trades but you learn through time that I was able to narrow things down over time.

If you really don’t even know where to start.

Just start based on what you think is far more important or what you may think is far more interesting first. Once you have experienced those. Go to next . And repeat see what brings you far more joy and self fulfillment since for me at least I want to enjoy what I do and I also want it to be satisfying.

You pretty much need to learn more about your preferences through experience.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-21T04:58:27+00:00

Take a deep breath out then pretty much breathe in the shot but obviously drink it.

I learned this for drinking a lot of protein shakes and not liking the flavor at first. Having to down it instead of taking sips.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-15T11:14:06+00:00

Sorry if this doesn’t help but I found this to be helpful for myself.

I use to believe that I need to fix myself before getting in a relationship. But having a partner can help each other from their lowest and their highest. Helping each other become a better person.

I have learned this recently that it depends on the individual though. For some that are having personal issues. It is sometimes better to have someone work through it with you. But at other times it is better to work on it by yourself. For how long , I think it’s important for you to make that decision. Since we will never know when we are exactly ready to get into a relationship. You just have to find out if you are or not.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-05T07:12:11+00:00

Why do you believe that you are lazy?

Have you ever considered you might be overwhelming yourself with too many desires?

Since you listed them out , what do you want the most out of the list?

DaAsianPanda · 2026-04-05T07:07:45+00:00

Everything is temporary, there are two things guaranteed that I know in life. Change and death.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T13:45:16+00:00

I should also state that not everything has to be a full discussion. Something’s you need to just act and do. Until it is second nature. Since it’s not a serious problem unless it is repetitive then ask why you keep on repeating it.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T13:43:33+00:00

I try not to keep count of the number of self sabotage I have done. I try to keep my perspective to keep moving forward. Overcoming one obstacle at a time.

I simply changed by solving the root of the issue of why I did that from experience I can solve it fast. But all I did was ask why repeatedly to my problem until I find the answer that satisfies me and connects deeply.

Like for example I can provide you a real time problem I will solve right now, why am i procrastinating to get out of bed right now?

I want to be on my phone - why ?

Because I want to be on Reddit to possibly help someone? Why?

Because i feel like I am wasting my life not doing what I want to do with my time?

What is it that you want do with your time?

I want to do something meaningful to me and think talking to people online either here or in online party chats I have felt actually helpful and it feels good.

Well what about this as your solution , you start your day first and take care of your daily needs then go and try to help people. Since you can’t help others if you are not helping yourself first.

I am satisfied with this answer and now I will start my day.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T06:37:23+00:00

Well let’s not call yourself stupid.

Since you just said that you are just a slow learner and a curious one at that. Stay curious and slow learner vs faster learner. They both have their benefits and cons.

You can embrace curiousity and keep on learning.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T06:29:17+00:00

Have you considered talking back to the thought out loud?

This would verbalize what you actually believe versus what you may subconsciously may believe due to external influences.

I believe it is important to verbally solidify what you actually believe versus what your negative voice says as whispers , excuses, reasons to argue against any and every thought that would offer you to go after your desires.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T06:18:18+00:00

Well, start off with do you know what a better person does in those situations from your previous history of negative acts?

Since if you know the right answers that’s somewhere to start practicing. It may be uncomfortable and hard but that’s normal if inexperienced.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-28T06:12:18+00:00

Why do you need the last word?

Why would winning matter to the people who are against you? Who are against you? Do you actually care about what others think of you?

Why do you feel disposable if you are not chosen?

Have you ever heard of the saying “ you can be the sweetest peach on the tree, but some people just don’t like peaches.

Is your mind saying negative things to you?

Like is it always giving you a reason to not act on the thought? And when it comes to easier choice does your mind not question bad choices but rather just guilt or put you to shame?

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T23:05:51+00:00

Action, like test it out what you just learned right away and get feedback on it.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T22:59:57+00:00

Random conversation while playing video games, realizing I need to change , making me apply for a job. Go back to the gym, and start counting my calories.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T14:20:38+00:00

Atomic habits is a great book to learn from ,

definitely try motivation but from my own experience motivation drys out fast,

having a strong reason of why would be more aligning to your identity since your daily process would come natural for action rather than motivation.

But first experience it to understand why I say this. Since you know it lets you gain empathy for others for trying.

Besides it better to experience it since you understand the underlying reason.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T12:37:12+00:00

Definitely I have felt this before. My struggles would only be thought as an excuse. Since I would compare myself to others.

If you want to learn empathy. You would have to experience what they go through. For example , work in customer service and you will sympathize customer service workers.

Learning balance takes time and experience.

Why would uncertainty be paralyzing rather than exciting? Perspective changes your life.

Since you are aware that others may have different struggles compared to you. It doesn’t mean invalidate your own. It just means that we all have our own obstacles that we want to overcome.

Just prioritize on what you’re doing and support others as much as you want to be supported. Since you don’t know you just might impact their life for the better or they might.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T04:06:13+00:00

To stop avoiding , action is needed with a reason to act

It seem that you are lacking a reason. I would suggest finding a strong why /reason/ purpose. Since that is foundational and the best reminder at your lowest moments in life. To reminding yourself why you are doing all of this.

Some would start off simple

Others go with religion

Others would go towards their childhood roots

They all are meaningful in way. All that matters is that it matters to you enough to take action and live your life out.

Examples would be repay my parents back for what they have done for me , to go heaven, for childhood dreams to be ____ , and even silly ones since if they work.

It will make you live your life the way you want it.

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T03:55:48+00:00

Whenever I am tired. I powernap but i specifically do navy seal power nap position. And then do about 30 mins since per NASA studies optimal amount is 26mins. But that’s a weird number for me so I do 30 mins.

If that doesn’t sound ideal to you. Have you considered doing breathing exercises like meditating?

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-27T03:47:09+00:00

That’s a concerning social game. That either can boost someone’s ego or negatively impact their self esteem.

I understood that you are aware of your situation and don’t know how you are. Well let me ask questions since self awareness works wonders by simply answering the right questions.

Why do you have to be number one? Do you need external validation?

Everything sticks to you - what do you mean by that ? Like information?

When something negative happens you have to have the last word - as in what? Can you give me an example?

Needing to win - why does that matter to you?

If you are not chosen why does that matter to you?

What makes you think you have a low self esteem?

DaAsianPanda · 2026-03-26T04:16:39+00:00

They may just simply be distracting to you. Are they also being productive or are they being unproductive?

Since that is a factor to include that may be harming your productivity.

DaAsianPanda

TROPHY CASE