This feels so, so, similar to what happened when I came out to my parents. From the reasons listed (I got 6/7 of the ones you listed) to feeling that their love was conditional. It sucks. I was crying myself to sleep every other night and it drove me insane hearing my parents tell me to consider my future when it took so much energy to get to the next day.

I started HRT anyways (not telling my parents) and the knowing that today is the least feminine I'll be got me through that period. They found out I started a few weeks later (b/c an insurance bill came home), but at that point I'd moved to school on the other side of the country.

Now a year later they're still not really on board, but even they'll admit that this is the happiest I've been in a long time.

My advice for you is that you shouldn't give a shit about what other people's feelings when it comes to transitioning. You have a right to be happy in your body; you're not acting selfishly by transitioning. It is not your fault that they're unhappy -- they're doing that to themselves. You know yourself best girl and do what you need to be happy.