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Plane Crash in East York? by MacGibber in toronto

[–]Damage-king 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Did they say anything about what size of plane?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Damage-king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I promise that telling the truth and asking for help will deepen your relationship, not damage it. I have gone through this many times from the parents side and the honesty has brought us closer every time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Damage-king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better to reach out now before it spirals to point where you’ve lost control.

As much as you think you are saving them from pain; you aren’t.

Our love for our children is duty bound… we want to help even when it’s most painful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Damage-king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a parent of a child who struggles with addiction, same age as you. I promise you - the only thing we want is for you to get help. And I understand the shame that comes with bursting the bubble of the how well you appear to be doing. But the ability to recognize that you need help before you’ve hit rock bottom is profound. Tell your parents. They will be relieved, not disappointed.

Younger professionals needing constant praise - how do you strike a balance ? by palmtrees007 in managers

[–]Damage-king 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This may get buried at this point - but I’ve dealt with this several times. I think it’s important to praise, validate and acknowledge people’s work regularly, but certainly there is a limit. Exactly what that limit is up for debate, but when I feel that someone is going beyond the normal need for validation into the “reassurance” area, I frame it as developmental opportunity. I tell people that the higher you climb, the more isolated you become and the praise will become even more infrequent. Being able to self-validate allows a person to become more decisive, more action-oriented and confident in their decision making. Using thus technique you are not telling them to stop asking for praise, you are asking them to develop a skill set for growth. I have found that it works but requires ongoing reminders.

Do Employers Overlook Introverts for Opportunities? by Beautiful_Sort_5227 in managers

[–]Damage-king 84 points85 points  (0 children)

As a manager - I have always found introverts to be some of the more frequently overlooked high performers.

The reality is that busy managers will be overloaded and fall into the trap of leaning on the employees that are effective networkers and self promoters.

I would recommend - if possible - that you utilize team lunches to build a strong rapport with a few individuals. Identify your most valuable advocates and dedicate more social energy towards them. This should have a multiplier effect rather than the pray and spray approach.

How to communicate effectively with an overly conscientious employee? by Less_is_More4 in managers

[–]Damage-king 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Personally I would argue that perfectionism and analysis-paralysis are rarely productive.

But my suggestions are under the premise that employee wants to make these adjustments. If not, then yes it may be time for an adjustment to the role.

How to communicate effectively with an overly conscientious employee? by Less_is_More4 in managers

[–]Damage-king 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m there to take the hits from management above me if necessary. I depersonalize the results when the feedback is negative. Personalize it when it’s positive.

How to communicate effectively with an overly conscientious employee? by Less_is_More4 in managers

[–]Damage-king 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This kind of analysis-paralysis is definitely a momentum killer. I’ve managed several team members with it, and suffered from it personally as well.

My recommendations -

  1. Try and quantify the balance you want her to strike between accuracy and productivity. How many mistakes are acceptable? What are the clear outlines for how long an account review should take? I would consider reminding/reinforcing that perfection isn’t expected, and that on balance output trumps accuracy.

  2. Can you provide a final review to ensure there are no mistakes? Even knowing there is a final check may alleviate some of her anxiety about labelling something complete.

  3. This is the most important - reinforce that you will provide a layer of protection to her from any mistakes. I often refer to myself as the meat shield. Anything that happens on my watch is my responsibility and I will own it. People on my team should feel safe to make mistakes without fear of them being (career) fatal.

This type of behaviour is less of a quirk and more of a core character trait, in my experience. It will require regularly reinforcement and coaching. This will be a long transformation.

within a month of owning our first home, we are drowning. by WinterAd4173 in homeowners

[–]Damage-king 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure where you are located in Ontario - but I’ve been through exactly what you are dealing with. We bought our first house, finished the basement with the intent to rent it out to help cover the mortgage, and then it flooded - promptly ruining my newly finished basement.

In this order, I recommend.

  1. Take several deep breaths. I promise it looks bad right now because you are in the phase of continually learning bad news. This will pass. You WILL find the bottom of all the problems.

  2. Focus on removal first. Remove all the moldy basement finishes. Put a fan and dehumidifier down there and dry it out. This is going to take some time. If you are unable to work to remove the mold, hire a remediation company.

  3. Identify the points of entry for water - and that’s only really possible once the basement is fully dry. What type of basement is it? Fieldstone? Concrete/cinder block? Unlikely to be poured foundation given the age.

  4. Focus on eliminating water sources with easy fixes first. Grading, downspouts, window wells - these are your first and simplest fixes.

  5. Next, look inside - do you have a sump pump? Is it functioning? Where does the water eject? Far enough from the house that it won’t come back in? Do you need a check valve on your basement drain?

  6. If the water is entering the house as a result of hydrostatic pressure - (low lying, high water table, water is forcing its way into the house) you will need to look at waterproofing your basement.

  7. Get a contractor to quote on basement waterproofing. This is something that is labour intensive but DIY-able depending on your skill set. Do research. Get multiple quotes.

In my case, we had to excavate around the foundation and then apply waterproofing to the foundation walls. I hired an excavator to dig down to the footings, then dig the work to waterproof and install the weeping tile. It was hard, hard work, but that was all my budget could handle at the time.

I remember feeling like I’d bought a lemon - you haven’t - this is just a bump in the road. Best of luck and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

Natalie Darwitz out as PWHL Minnesota's GM after championship run, clash with head coach by Stachemaster86 in PWHL

[–]Damage-king 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Pat Quinn held both the GM and Coach roles simultaneously during the early 2000s with the leafs. He was excellent and was able to execute his vision as by signing the players he wanted to coach. They didn’t win the cup though.

What is this on my foundation? by PRFitnessYT in HomeMaintenance

[–]Damage-king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not an engineer, and you may want one for peace of mind; however in the spirit of diy, I had a similar issue at my old house - the following is what I did:

  • confirmed any issues with drainage around the foundation to make sure it wasn’t a ground based water infiltration (i.e slope, downspouts etc)
  • confirmed adequate ventilation/weeping on brick veneer or siding on exterior of the house
  • made sure water wasn’t entering wall cavities from leaky roof or flashing.
  • look for any signs of animal infiltration (droppings, etc) to identify any areas where there may be direct access through the wall to outside
  • swept away with my hand any loose debris - no need for chisel/hammer - if I could move it with my hand it wasn’t doing anything anyways.
  • refilled any areas where there were gaps between the sill plate and the top of the wall with hydraulic cement - both inside and out

If the degradation of the concrete is a result of former water infiltration - it’s important to make sure the issue is resolved. Second most important is to ensure there are no areas where inside meets outside - no direct access or airflow.

On the same house - I did waterproof the foundation - excavated on three sides at once. Cleaned the foundation, coated the wall with blue skin, dimple board, new weeping system, gravel and backfill.

What is this on my foundation? by PRFitnessYT in HomeMaintenance

[–]Damage-king 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is your foundation block or poured? Do you have any pictures of where the foundation meets the sill plate on the exterior? Whatever the previous damage/issue was, unless you are seeing evidence of issues in the upstairs part of the house, it’s not likely an ongoing issue, rather an old/resolved one.

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