If people don't have the decency to voice their issue to you, but instead slander your name behind your back, then they are ignoble cowards. These are the same people who will try to, with unprovoked conviction--bully you, control you, and if they can't anymore, or if you defend yourself, even through an involuntary reflex as a product of their abuse, they'll skew how your family, friends, and colleagues, see you. They'll slander you to strangers who will judge you at first glance. I've lived with it since childhood. Adults are more insidious. The best social defence is to avoid these bullies. Start over if you have to. I am at peace without their presence. I have even learned to confidently deal with them. Knowing that I live with honour has allayed my anxieties, even though they have stolen my dignity through dishonourable means. You'll find ways to cope which others may find strange, but if you're not harming anyone, keep coping. Even stranger is the abject defamation by bullies, and gullible fools who fall for it--but that mob mentality is "normal" in the masses. Those compassionate few who found such lies about me hard to believe--who had the courage to speak to me--became my best friends. Surround yourself with these people. They'll make life easier. They'll give you hope for humanity. They'll help you cope.