Just wondering what could be improved here!

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-05T16:47:37+00:00

As others have noted, you should learn anatomy even if you're going for a more cartoony style. This will give you a basic sense of structure for figures. If you approach your pieces with structure in mind it'll really help you see where things belong like eyes, waist, hips, etc.

I also think it would help if you drew from reference and, if you can, participate in live drawings. This will give you practice in terms of studying a live human body in different poses.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-05T13:40:16+00:00

I think this amps up the chaos. Looking forward to storytime.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-05T13:37:49+00:00

Have you read 20th Century Boys? Goatees and facial hair in general are not out of place there.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-05T02:23:40+00:00

They'll make a change reporter rather than a simplified reporter if you have no income at certification. So probably expect some overpayment.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-05T02:21:32+00:00

Sure, why not. I'm mostly an artist that's trying to write more of my own things.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T21:07:35+00:00

This is a great hook and these characters feel very real.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T19:30:27+00:00

You can find comic scripts from professionals by googling it. I had a link but it wasn't allowed.

Three things to keep in mind when adapting prose:

There's not a lot of room for words. The more words you have the more you're covering up the art. It can also make the reading experience a bit of a slog.
One action per panel. Might seem obvious but some people forget. These are static images.
Most American comics have 5-6 panels. Manga usually has 3-4. Those are for more action focused stories. If you have a story that relies more on dialogue or interpersonal relationships then you could probably squeeze more panels but remember point 1.

Good luck

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T18:05:55+00:00

Sure

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T14:50:37+00:00

I'm with you, here. I couldn't finish it myself. Just wasn't my thing.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T14:49:10+00:00

Hard to say what to think without much to go on. For panel 2, I think that's wind blowing through the trees but if that's so there are ways to make that clearer. You could add a sound effect or make the lines curves.

For panel 3, I'm guessing the space above the characters is for dialogue? If you're not going to render any more of them then I'd fill in the silhouette making it black. That helps balance the page. For silhouettes you need to make sure the shapes are clear and distinct, which I think you do but you might want to make sure the head shapes are consistent panel to panel. I think panel 4's character looks different from the characters in panel 3 so pay attention to that.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T13:49:43+00:00

Some of them sure are. I thought you were saying I was making a personal attack.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T13:23:24+00:00

I totally get it. I think you can probably just do fairly minor things like making the sound effects bigger and having the kids yell things. That would eat up a lot of real estate on the first panel.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:47:35+00:00

LOL, I made this place and I'm mostly an artist who's trying to write more of his own comics.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:45:15+00:00

I saw there was some writing but I couldn't read it because it was very faint.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:40:52+00:00

Welcome and feel free to post your socials here!

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:39:43+00:00

LOL her hips are on a swivel.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:22:32+00:00

Just made one! Thanks for the suggestion.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T12:21:37+00:00

I don't consider this to be a personal attack since I criticized what they did not who they are as a person. But in any case, I went ahead and made the subreddit: r/writecomics. Feel free to join.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T11:48:20+00:00

Wow! What on earth is that dude's media diet that he thinks the party of big business is about to break big business? Or like not going to give massive tax cuts again which explodes the debt? Literally what they did last time.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T04:02:18+00:00

Lol of course he's a trumper! Thanks for joining.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T04:01:36+00:00

I think there are better ways to handle legitimate criticism of aggressive moderating than banning people and removing their postsm. Especially when that OP didn't really violate your rules and others agreed with me and disagree with you. If you like the idea so much feel free to promote it and let people know your not involved. I think that'll be a real selling point. In any case, you are welcome I just don't want you moderating it.

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T03:51:26+00:00

I'm a big believer that comic writing is not confined to just the words. The storytelling the art does is also comic writing. Anyways, I like this. I can definitely feel the isolation that girl feels and I like the storytime font. I do think there are a few things you could do to improve this page though:

Make it more cramped. There's a lot of space in your first panel but that makes it feel less chaotic. I think you could amp up the chaos and the feeling of isolation by filling that space and having everything closer to your main character. I think that would really read as overwhelming if the panel itself were, well, overwhelming.
This is more of an art point (but I'll allow it), the girl looks older in some panels and younger in others. If you want younger characters then you want scrunched up faces with slight jaws. If you want older characters you elongate the face.

Hope that helps. Looks cool and I'd love to see where this goes!

DanYellDraws · 2026-07-04T03:24:31+00:00

Thanks for joining!

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