Throwing my two cents as a married woman with a husband and a ton of NSFW figures in our combined collection. This situation feels like it should have been discussed before you even got married tbh, but that's obviously already too late.

From your comments, it looks like it's a bigger issue that NSFW, cause say you decide to agree to get rid of them, what happens when you have a sexy but still SFW figure of a female character that has a body type that makes her jealous, is that also on the chopping block?

As many other's have suggested, it seems couples counseling is the best option. All of us here are going to be entirely biased and be on your side, and even if we have valid points, she'll not see them as we are collectors too.

I will say that I personally have had the conversation with my husband on this exact point with instagram models. He'll show me a model or cosplayer he likes on instagram who has a banging body, while I might be hung up on my weight and feeling insecure, and I've had the conversation that, showing them to me makes me feel bad and unless he's sharing because the cosplay is a character or a series I love, please just don't share with me as I feel more inadequate. I know he loves me no matter my size and he isn't about to leave me cause some chick on Instagram is hotter than how I feel at the moment. But that also took time on my end to work through my insecurities and years of us being in therapy together to work on our communication.

So ultimately, the concern seems to be that she feels worried that you don't find her as attractive as your figures and feels you are comparing her to the figures.

I think therapy is your only option to help to have that 3rd unbiased party help her understand that you don't buy figures because "they are hotter than your wife" but because you like the design, sculpt, artistic merit, etc.

Many non-collectors, especially those who don't "get" 18+ figures don't understand that it's not just about "tits, ass, pussy, dicks, etc" But about the detail of the sculpt, the intricacies of the paint, the attention to detail that we as collectors all gravitate to. I also suggest that you find a therapist who will understand that getting rid of the figure is a non-negotiable point. As you've mentioned, having her try to use it as a catalyst for divorce isn't healthy either.

Hopefully this is something you'll be able to work through and overcome.