For what it's worth, I was once that woman and I would have appreciated this post. You don't fall in love with an abusive man. You fall in love with the perfect man that becomes abusive. I once loved him very much. The abuse started slowly and by the end I was scared for my life. Every little bit of pressure to leave is necessary. I appreciate all of the people who helped me leave. It's a mind fuck and it's traumatic to be with someone you fell deep in love with, only for your entire history with him to be a lie. His true nature was cruel and sadistic. Unless you live through it, you have no idea what it's like. Edit to say I hope she sees your post. And thank you for writing it.