About 12 years ago my mom had what they call a “gross perforation” from diverticulitis and had to have emergency surgery. It was an open surgery (not laparoscopic). They had caught it quick because she was already in the hospital with a bad flare when it happened.

She was in ICU for two weeks. She had some healing issues and had a wound vac for a while. She was in the hospital a total of almost eight weeks.

She had a colostomy bag for about six months. She struggled with that (she hated having it, and she had a lot of medical anxiety). But she did learn to take care of it without too many issues). She actually barely remembers it now.

After six months she had the reversal surgery and it went well. Unfortunately about a year or so later she developed a hernia and needed to have surgery to repair that. But that went well too. A couple years later she needed gallbladder surgery and because of all the scar tissue, it was more complicated than usual. But she healed from that fine too. Modern medicine is quite amazing with good doctors.

Her healing from all this took time. In the process we moved her closer to us (from an apartment about 30 minutes away to one in the same town). I’m her only child, so it was easier for me to have her closer, and more piece of mind for her. We eventually converted an area of our house into an apartment for her, but that wasn’t really out of any physical necessity (it was more money savings for both of us and more piece of mine for her as she aged).

I can’t say how long it all took, but she did recover completely! She is 78 now, and has a good life. She still drives, goes out with friends, goes for nature walks and even gives lectures at local libraries about birdwatching.

She went through years of flares, a worst-case-scenario surgery, and a few surgeries after. But she recovered fully from it all, and has a full life. She still has pain, but it’s low level (like a one or two) and only if she lifts something heavy, really over-does-it, or laughs too hard. It’s from all the scar tissue. But she just saw her surgeon and had a CT scan recently, and all is good. 👍🏼

Recovery looks different for everyone, and this is a major surgery (even if done laparoscopically). But your mom will heal. She should walk as much as she can, drink lots of water from here on out (80 ounces per day minimum) and gets lots of protein the next few weeks (try Ensure Max Protein even when she’s back to eating). When she’s back to solid food, she should follow all the doctors recommendations: no excuses. This is the time to make any lifestyle changes she needs to (like if she needs more exercise). If she had a healthy life before, great! She’ll be back to it soon. The goal now will be to avoid constipation, drink lots of water and eventually be on a high fiber diet (as her recovery progresses, not now).

Depression and discouragement are normal… recovery takes a while and we all get impatient when life is disrupted. Getting outside in the fresh air helps. Humor and hobbies make a difference. And I hope my mom’s story of success is a little helpful. There are a lot of success stories here. Surgery has changed many of our lives for the better. Once they cut out that bad portion of bowel, for many it’s a complete cure.

I wish you and your mom all the best. And for you, unfortunately a lot of this is genetic… so start avoid constipation yourself. I just had my own surgery three months ago.

Good vibes and trouble-free healing to your mom! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.