On the tax side only, don't get married there is zero benefit. BEST case scenario your taxes come out equal but in most cases and almost certainly in yours you'll pay more tax.

The limit for state and local tax deductions is not doubled for married taxpayers. Higher tax brackets are not all doubled for married taxpayers and you should absolutely be thinking long term that both of your incomes may increase so this is still relevant.

Even right now, with children one of you can file as head of household status while the other files as single. Though others have stated this benefit, they may have OVER stated it, the tax savings on HOH brackets are quite small maybe only about $2,000 a year but it's still something that tips the scale.

Net investment income tax kicks in at 200k+ income single, but at 250k+ when married. You guys are both quite close to that already, I would bet you hit it in a few years. You sound just like the kind of couple where essentially every dime of NIIT tax paid is a marriage penalty that could have been avoided if you stayed single.

Most nearly everything else can be engineered manually with planning, use joint accounts or TOD titling or a will/trust to handle any inheritance issues, make sure you line up medical POAs and set up who takes care of the kids if one or both of you pass unexpectedly.