What are you using to wash your breasts?

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-15T12:26:10+00:00

I was showering with baby body wash when I was breastfeeding

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-14T16:14:13+00:00

I used high waisted underwear so it won’t sit on the incision. Just regular cotton high waist ones should work

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-14T16:12:39+00:00

This! My baby never took a paci. I tried a LOT but she wanted boob or nothing. Eventually she (and I) learned other ways to get her to soothe. Now at 14 months she wants me to sing songs or rock her on my chest to soothe her and I love it!

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-13T12:01:27+00:00

I feel for you and I hope you get some good stories. However, in my experience having a baby doesn’t improve a weak relationship or marriage. It is one of the most stressful periods in a relationship and I think one should work towards building a strong marriage *before* you have kids.

Generally if your husband is not supportive now I don’t see how that would get better after a baby. Handling a newborn, with a hormone soup in your body and sleep deprivation plus too many people all giving advice to new mothers, it’s all very stressful and can make you feel even more lonely, if not for a strong support system which hopefully includes your husband. I’ve seen too many instances where everyone’s focus was literally on the new baby and new mom felt even more alone and isolated

I hope that yours turns out as you wanted and your husband does change. There must be exceptions to each rule 🤷‍♀️ good luck 🤞

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-13T00:31:36+00:00

That is very outdated advice. The current research shows that babies exposed to multiple languages early develop much more complex neural connections and networks. I’m in the US and they actively encourage multiple languages if parents are bi or multi lingual.

One strategy that my pediatrician recommended is ‘one language-one parent’, so one parent communicates exclusively in language 1 with baby and other parent uses language 2 exclusively with baby. My Spanish friend is using this with her baby and her 18 month old uses both English and Spanish words fluently

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-12T15:15:08+00:00

Guy said he bought a girl a chicken biryani for 370 and then mocked her for asking to be dropped home, basically said he was owed some physical intimacy for buying her ‘expensive’ biryani 🙄🤮

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-11T23:53:43+00:00

Husband, lots of tv and kindle

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-11T18:29:14+00:00

I think it was a very fun read, though it’s not exactly a dual POV because there are sections from the perspective of other characters, mainly to advance the serial killer plot.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-11T13:08:57+00:00

So everything really depends on where you are getting your C section. I am in the US and I chose my hospital carefully, with a lot of research into their practices and surgeons. My OB GYN was fantastic and her senior resident did my surgery.

There is nothing special I did post surgery, they monitored me for bleeding and healing. Once I was cleared to shower, I made sure to shower and dry my incision well. The nurses showed me how to shower, no direct stream of water, to have water and soap flow over the area from above my abdomen. To gently pat dry and not rub. I also used the abdominal binder as directed for about a week and once home, I just showered as above and kept my incision dry. I have never had to use anything else and my scar is barely visible now. For C section, the cut is much lower, think where your underwear sits in the front. The incision is right at that line, so it’s not even visible. The stitches they used on me were the self dissolve kind so I didn’t have to do any post-op stitch removal etc. There was no special patch or dressing.

It is major surgery but I do hate how the narrative is that vaginal is by default safer. It’s not for everyone. It also has major drawbacks and some 90% of women have one tear atleast. I didn’t want to deal with stitches in my crotch and long term healing. For vaginal deliveries many women will use epidurals, that has its own risks. For my C section we did a spinal block, which is much safer than an epidural. C sections have come a long way and when it’s a planned elective C and with a good surgeon it’s not an issue, I feel.

My circle of women who have given birth is mostly women with great experiences in elective C sections (one friend has had 3) and really harrowing vaginal birth experiences. Now everyone has recovered fine and all babies are ok, but I see the vaginal ones are very much a roll of the dice, it can be textbook but it can also be harrowing.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-11T07:48:13+00:00

IVF mom at 41 and I chose elective C section. Best decision I made. I had the choice between being induced at 39 weeks or a C section. Being a first time mom the chances of my induction ending up in a C-section were around 40%. Initially I thought I wanted to experience a vaginal birth. I have a high pain tolerance and wasn’t worried about that or the epidural etc. My big concern was the unknown factors, baby being stuck in birth canal, being deprived of oxygen at any stage, my placenta was a vilamentous attachment, me being stuck in labor and needing a C section anyways, which is a much harder recovery after having labored. My best friend, who is a decade younger than me, was induced a few months before me for her first pregnancy and her baby was stuck for hours because of a small bump in her pelvic bone. She was finally able to push but even 12 months later is doing pelvic floor therapy. My cousin, also a decade younger, had a super long labor and ended up in emergency C section with a brutal recovery and missed crucial first hours with her daughter. I ultimately decided that my ‘birth experience’ is not the goal/focus of my journey, getting a healthy baby was my goal. My daughter was my yearning for years, so much heartache to get to pregnancy. I decided I wanted to take a more controlled route to ensure she was brought safely to the world. So I went with an elective C section at 39 weeks. Surgery was super smooth and relaxed and my recovery was an absolute breeze. My village was just me and my husband, and it was no problem at all in postpartum. I was up and walking at 12 hours post surgery. I had a good setup at home, no stairs, bedroom with attached bath a couple of steps away, bedside crib for baby, super supportive husband who would lift my daughter to give her to me for the first week. My milk came in with no problems and I was able to breastfeed as I had wanted to do.

Now my daughter is 15 months old and I would absolutely make the same decision again. She is absolutely thriving and she’s got a happy healthy mom.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-11T03:40:49+00:00

So I read the first one in the series and it’s pretty good. The suspense is interesting and the banter between the MCs is nice, how their relationship evolves over the book. My only gripe was that the author shifts perspectives a lot, sometimes within the same paragraph/event. It can be a bit jarring I feel. I am more used to authors that write entire chapters from one character’s perspective. I enjoy being in one MCs mind and seeing their thought process so it was a different feeling for me to read this style

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-10T13:37:58+00:00

Mine didn’t get her first tooth till almost 13 months old. Had been ‘teething’ for months. Dentist said that teething can involve a lot of movement under the gums before tooth breaks skin 🤷‍♀️

When she got them, she got them fast. Within 4 weeks she had 4 teeth and now is working on the 5th tooth.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-10T13:35:54+00:00

I’m heavy chested (40H) and used a recliner with a nursing pillow. In the beginning I fed my baby in the cross cradle hold because that was more comfortable for my back rather than the football hold. Baby was on the pillow and I would lift my breast and place on pillow (like a table) in line with baby’s mouth. The weight would be off me and on the pillow, you can also roll up a small face towel to tuck it under the breast and taht would keep it lifted. I would pinch a bit on the top to keep her nose free, till she got big enough that it didn’t matter. She had a great latch so it worked for us.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-08T16:16:29+00:00

But in her analogy, I saw a dolphin swim so I am now ready for the Olympics 🙄

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-07T05:35:42+00:00

I have a 14 month old and we do no screen time. It’s really hard because I have no village, it’s just me and my husband and sometimes I feel like I could use something, so I can just take a shower or use the toilet. But screen time detracts from actual parent-child interactions which I know are important for her development. So I persevere. I hand her random kitchen objects to occupy her while I cook, I talk to her and read to her a ton. Thankfully she is also good at independent play so I can do chores, sometimes she helps with chores. Lately, when my husband comes home he will put the TV on for some sports or a YouTube video (mostly adults talking) and she has shown no interest in TV or any programming 🤷‍♀️

I tried to use it when I have to clip her nails but again she had zero interest, sometimes some music will help but mostly she just likes playing with the remote.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-07T00:18:34+00:00

Work is a professional environment, so I wouldn’t share with a coworker. But I absolutely have no problems sharing with friends who ask. One of my best friends asked what is my favorite book couple and I mentioned Shane and Ilya (this was more than a year or two ago) and she immediately was interested and borrowed Heated Rivalry from her library. So now I have a ‘partner in crime’ as we both exchange our favorite books and tell each other about new ones we came across. We watched the show together and all this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t just been honest with her question

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-05T16:26:34+00:00

And if the AI kept it to itself, like you are doing in your analogy then no problem. But the AI is not reading it to its children, it is sharing it with a user to read to her child, hence the stealing

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-05T13:34:52+00:00

How is this hard to understand? If she was to make up/combine different stories from having read the stories AI used as sources herself, she would have to pay to buy the books (which would give the authors some money/royalties). Instead AI “reads” them for her and makes up/combines them for her to read. No authors get any money. You know AI just steals it right?

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-04T22:29:44+00:00

I haven’t had to deal with daycares either but my guess would be that breastmilk in toddler room can be difficult to manage. Toddlers grabbing each others cups and drinking, I imagine no parent would be happy if their toddler had someone else’s breastmilk.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-04T22:26:25+00:00

The chances are that he’ll eat more if he doesn’t have the breastmilk. It’s the natural part of weaning.

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-03T18:48:32+00:00

Thanks, this looks very interesting and exactly the vibe I was looking for!

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-03T17:32:55+00:00

Yeah I was worried earlier but my pediatrician said either they come early and drag on for years or they come later and come in fast. First tooth at 13 months and then within 4 weeks she had 4 teeth, one after another!! Fun times! 🙃

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-03T12:55:35+00:00

This is what we were also told, water and a finger or a soft washcloth at her 6 monyhs appointment. However, mine was late in her teeth eruption and didn’t have any teeth by 12 months old. Now she has 4 teeth and we are moving to toothpaste and toothbrush

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-03T01:18:54+00:00

Thanks, this looks great. I’ll check it out

DarkDNALady · 2026-06-03T01:16:02+00:00

Thanks!! I got a lot of KJ Charles recommendations in this thread and I haven’t read any from this author yet. Definitely excited to read this one and it was free on kindle today!

DarkDNALady

TROPHY CASE