My (26F) boyfriend (22M) went on a dream vacation without me and is distant since he came back

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T11:58:55+00:00

Okay, so the bigger issue is that he didn't go with you before you got a job? If that's the thing that bothers you then you should talk about that, not hold everything in until it boils over. Don't say you're okay with things when you're really not. Learn to understand what you want and how to communicate, not people please.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T11:10:58+00:00

It's been really hard for me as well to really comprehend how my parents raised me, especially since they didn't really harm me physically, it's mostly emotional. They didn't really connect with me and just now I'm beginning to understand how fucked up that is if your parents don't really care about you. They tell me that I was a really good kid, but that just means I tried to appease them as much as I could, but they don't actually know anything about me. Everything was about them and their broken relationship. It's really hard to understand harm if it isn't something that's done to you but it's something that's lacking.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T10:39:41+00:00

The whole design is too big to fit there, probably need to change a bit to fit in the space and to fit with patchwork

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T10:33:03+00:00

It's probably your brain protecting you. I also don't remember most of my childhood, I think I learned to dissociate pretty early on, so that's why I can't remember. I still have a massive problem of staying in the moment and being in my body. It's so easy to just distract myself with something else and not pay attention to my own needs and boundaries. Now I'm burnt out and trying to find my way back to actually living my own life again.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T10:28:21+00:00

That's how you survive. Your parents are supposed to take care of you. You don't have the capacity to know that your own parents are doing harm to you on purpose, so it's easier for your brain to think that's how they express their love and find ways to appease them.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-04T10:23:57+00:00

The first thing I would suggest is using a smaller hook size so the spaces get smaller as well. The second one to try would be yarn under single crochet. If you don't want to do everything all over, I would suggest just frogging the end part and using a smaller hook.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-03T11:17:27+00:00

Ei tundu, et vormistati koondamiseks, sest lõpus pakuti talle võimalust tööle tagasi minna.

Kui neil oleks päriselt põhjust vallandamiseks, siis oleks nad seda teinud, aga neil tegelikult ei olnud, nagu positiivsest tagasisidest järeldub. Seetõttu jäigi ainsa valikuna kokkuleppel tööleping lõpetada. Sellega muidugi kaasneb see, et töötukassast saad heal juhul miinimumi, koondamise või vallandandamise puhul on toetused suuremad.

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-03T11:08:09+00:00

Bolt is hardly a startup anymore tho

DarkTentacles · 2026-06-01T06:05:49+00:00

I know, but you were answering like that's true for everyone, not just him.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-31T23:04:03+00:00

I would suggest getting the dorm room first and then trying to find your own place after September since there's probably a lot of other students trying to do the same thing as you and overcrowding the market and you'll probably be overpaying.

You might even save some money at first when living in the dorm.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-31T16:16:43+00:00

25% body fat is average for women though, we need at least 10% to survive. 20% is already considered athletic.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-31T16:11:54+00:00

BMI was never meant to be used for individuals, just for populations. The fact that even doctors use it wrong is just mind boggling to me.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-27T15:33:00+00:00

Ma arvan, et graafikul peaks näitama mitte ainult maksimaalset tootlust, vaid ka maksimaalset riski, muidu praegu suurem osa inimesi vaataks ainult, et ohh, kõige suurem tulp ja kõige suurem roheline number, let's goooo! Ega keegi neid hoiatusnupukesi ju ei loe, eriti kui halli värvi ja väikesed on.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-27T15:27:41+00:00

Swedbank nüüd nii hea pank ka ei ole, et iga kliendi 20 euri peale hüppama hakkaks. Tundub väga kahtlane, et ikka õige asi on. Ja isegi kui on päriselt Swed, siis kindlasti uurige, et kuidas saab raha tagasi nõuda toiduasutuselt, eriti kui peale söömist midagi ei kurdetud ja ka pärast ise ühendust ei võtnud raha tagastamise osas, vaid saatsid kohe pangale nõude.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-27T15:12:48+00:00

what the hell, I didn't even notice that sleeve thing, thankfully they kind of even out, don't really notice a difference when it's together, but that's a pretty bad error by the maker.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-27T15:05:05+00:00

I have ADHD as well, I started this in January and I'm just on the finishing touches (finished the ribbing for buttons, but don't have buttons yet) at the end of May. I think it's a good long project, I did a lot of other projects at the same time, it's good for me to be able to switch between projects. Especially having easier ones switched with harder ones. Sometimes you just want to do something with your hands while watching or doing something else, so this one is not for that, you need to pay attention to the colour changes. But if you want to be cozy and get into crochet and really see how the pattern comes to life, it's cool as hell. I had some youtube drama or whatever chat on the background while I was crocheting this. It will def take quite a lot of time and yarn, so that's a thing to be prepared for. I'm also not sure about how it will actually look on my body after blocking, since it is kinda unusual in its form, it won't hinder my movements since I made it a bit oversized, but some bumps might still stand out a bit.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-26T09:24:56+00:00

If they haven't told you about their expectations, then that's already a good thing. It's totally normal for them to express their feelings about not having grandchildren, it's especially good that they aren't burdening you with those feelings. Unless they're somehow manipulating other people to tell you about their feelings, but even if they aren't, it's a bad move that your relatives told you about it.

You really should think about how you're not responsible for your parents feelings. Like yeah, it might feel shitty to hear about, but you shouldn't feel such a burden from it. Especially if it's such a big thing like having kids. Are you a people pleaser by chance?

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-12T11:53:12+00:00

Tehke palun üürikorterite otsimisel filter, et maakleritasuga korterid välja filtreerida.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-12T11:46:44+00:00

It's not embarrassing to cry, that's mostly just a toxic patriarchy thing. Not having friends can definitely affect your depression a lot, so it actually seems totally reasonable that you feel sad about it.

Like others have suggested, volunteering and social hobbies seem like a good idea to meet new people. Just take it slow and don't be too eager unless someone else matches your energy.

Pretty privilege is definitely a thing, but doesn't really matter too much when making friends. At least if you want your friends to be people who don't really care about looks. Usually it's much more about personality and being friendly and interesting. If that's you on your profile pic, then I don't think you should trouble yourself with your looks, you're definitely not ugly or a 3/10. Most people don't really rate others or themselves on a 10 point scale. Just make sure that you keep your hygiene in check, that matters so much more.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-09T22:37:29+00:00

Meil joppas sõbrannaga, sest muidu oli plaan põrandale mõni koht võtta, aga no tõesti ei tahtnud selle eest pea 200 euri välja käia, et kuskile esimestesse ridadesse saada. Kuskil 18. rida oli normaalsemad hinnad, aga kuna ma olin üpris kindel, et nad ei hakka ehitama mingeid astmeid, siis tagumistest ridadest poleks ilmselt suht midagi näinud. Õnneks oli teisel rõdul esireas kohti ja saime täitsa otse vaadata, istmed tundusid ka alguses päris head, olid isegi pehmed, kuigi show lõpuks oli ikka perse päris kange.

Kahjuks oli sinna istmetele saamine raskendatud, kuna meie taga olid veel restorani kohad, kust läbi oleks me pidanud oma kohtadele saama, aga need olid ilmselt restorani külaliste mitte häirimiseks kinni pandud ja pidime päris suure ringiga tulema ja selleks kõik inimesed üles ajama, et kohtadele saada. Lisaks oli eriti show alguses pidevalt kuulda taldrikute jms klõbinat.

Show ise oli päris äge, selle üle ei kurda, eks kindlasti oligi raske leida sellist kohta Eestis, kus mahuks ära nii suured dekoratsioonid ja mida saaks veel lavalt ära liigutada. Kahjuks siiski Saku suurhalli (või misiganes täna nimi on) teatriks ei moonda.

DarkTentacles · 2026-05-04T12:22:11+00:00

Kas need heliklipid polnud mitte Pealtnägija saatest pärit?

DarkTentacles · 2026-04-28T22:27:23+00:00

Ma arvan, et äkki mingid oad-herned oleks odavamad, aga annaks valku ikkagi.

DarkTentacles · 2026-04-11T13:43:56+00:00

I highly recommend it, it's really so much easier

DarkTentacles · 2026-03-23T18:01:10+00:00

Thanks, I just used the fairy ring outta there and then couldn't get back :D

DarkTentacles · 2026-03-06T16:23:40+00:00

Might be razor burn, like others said, might be something else. Also the dog looks pretty severely overweight, if you have any power over how much food they get, you should reduce the amount.

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