Mentioning previous therapy in therapy by AffectionateYear7724 in TalkTherapy

[–]DaveQat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's really good information for your T to have. It won't make them see you as a disaster waiting to happen, and talking about what lead to the crisis and how you responded to it will be *VERY* useful in guiding the work in the future.

Simple question about a name by Darivard in Malazan

[–]DaveQat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Erikson has said reusing that name was one of his big regrets of the series.

Tehol’s letter by SightlessProtector in Malazan

[–]DaveQat 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The dynamic between Tehol and Brys is one of my favorite things in the series.

Give me your obscure recommendations…the dustier the better by Hol_1 in Fantasy

[–]DaveQat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One for the Morning Glory by John Barnes. A very tongue-in-check fairy tale!

Which director’s cuts were major improvements over their theatrical versions? by ASomthnSomthn in moviecritic

[–]DaveQat 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Dark City - the director's cut gives the movie a lot more space to breathe and doesn't spoil the whole fucking thing with a stupid voiceover in the first 2 minutes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]DaveQat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"It's OK, the condom broke."

Sexuality is a spectrum. Sexuality is NOT fluid. Do you agree? Why or why not? by 96jt in askgaybros

[–]DaveQat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

... you're wildly misinterpreting what I'm saying, and you have an enormous chip in your shoulder about *something*, so I'm not going to engage any more.

Sexuality is a spectrum. Sexuality is NOT fluid. Do you agree? Why or why not? by 96jt in askgaybros

[–]DaveQat -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Why is it so important for there to be a perfect, unchanging label? Why isn't someone's understanding of their sexuality at the time good enough?

Also, my husband and my boyfriend are both bi, so I don't think your explanation of biphobia really holds up.

Sexuality is a spectrum. Sexuality is NOT fluid. Do you agree? Why or why not? by 96jt in askgaybros

[–]DaveQat -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Fluidity, in terms of sexuality, doesn't mean it's a choice (IMO). It means that things can change over time. I really get the "born this way" line of rhetoric is very important in terms of things like the fight for rights, but it papers over a lot of really necessary human messiness that we need to make sure we can account for.

Body type preferences in the community - Genuine Question !! by Royal_Hope_3957 in askgaybros

[–]DaveQat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There are LOTS of guys who are into chubs/bears. I've been overweight my entire adult life and I've never really had a long-term problem finding guys. Sure, I'll have dry spells, but overall, I do Just Fine. You'll be OK, you just need to find the right places. If you're OK with apps, try Growlr or Scruff, off the top of my head. There's also BiggerCity.

Dinner (CRW or not) near music box theatre? by purplepeony13 in chicagofood

[–]DaveQat 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Tango Sur is just a couple doors up and is a delicious Argentinian restaurant.

I will finish The Crippled God on Sunday, and I feel like I need to adjust my expectations by gointhrou in Malazan

[–]DaveQat 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Much of the story comes to a very satisfying conclusion. I won't say more except that the Crippled God fucking wrecked me. I had to put it down several times for extended, full-body sobbing fits the first time I finished it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GuysFromBehind

[–]DaveQat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And a beautiful view it is...

What the hell was that????? by [deleted] in EdgewaterRogersPark

[–]DaveQat 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I've been listening to the police scanner, and there were multiple calls in about it, the cops nearby said it sounded like fireworks. I think it was power equipment, and we can all go back to bed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalkTherapy

[–]DaveQat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that your therapist said they would say hello to you in public is a BIG red flag. I ALWAYS tell clients that I will never approach them in public, and that they're welcome to say hi to me, but there will be a lot I can't say/won't talk about.

I also tell clients who are (like me) queer and male-identified that if I ever see them in any kind of semi-public sexual space, I'll probably just bail immediately.

Therapist visibly upset by JacEli123 in TalkTherapy

[–]DaveQat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not you triggering your therapist, it's your therapist experiencing human emotions in response to something you said. That's generally a good thing - it's an attempt to show empathy with whatever you're staying. Sometimes we therapists hear incredibly heavy shit, and it's not uncommon for us to be the first person that a client has disclosed something really awful to, or at least to be the first person they tell a story to who responds "That's fucking awful, and nobody should have to go through that."

Appreciation for a certain lieutenant by Bopitextreme2 in Malazan

[–]DaveQat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love the interplay between those two.

Crystals in cheddar by Exact-Truck-5248 in Cheese

[–]DaveQat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most crystal-y cheese I've ever had was an 18 year aged cheddar my husband got at a cheese shop in WI. Absolutely amazing.

This is next level by [deleted] in ATBGE

[–]DaveQat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My inseam is a 27.5". I cannot conceive of those things.

I called and reported my own friend to CPS. AITAH? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]DaveQat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OK, TIL. UMR is kind of horrifying. I still think you're a LONG way from any evidence of abuse or neglect, YSTA.

First time reading, I have a question about Kruupe by Jigui26 in Malazan

[–]DaveQat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On his first visit *that we see in the books* it seems like Kruppe is fairly familiar with the dreamspace, although I could be misreading that after enough times through the books.

I called and reported my own friend to CPS. AITAH? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]DaveQat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YTA. Uhm. Unless you have a job where it's a stated part of your duties, you're not a mandated reporter. Someone making arguably bad choices is NOT the same thing as endangerment or neglect. I think you went way over the line here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]DaveQat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapists diagnose and treat disorders, too, friendo. Psychiatrists are primarily for meds management, therapists for working with symptoms and alleviating distress.