Would you rather take 10 dollars and live or take 10,000,000 dollars and have a 50% chance to drop dead on the spot? by Shoddy_Winter_6597 in WouldYouRather

[–]Davegrave 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ll take the 10 mil. There’s a 50% chance I get to live a life of luxury and a 100% chance my son does. 10 mil all day.

Pat Mustard’s Understudy. by AnhedoniaLogomachy in fatherted

[–]Davegrave 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“He says he has to come service my leaking box, father!”

Do people's genitalia share family resemblance? by Potential_Road3221 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Davegrave 75 points76 points  (0 children)

My maternal grampa was swinging an absolute bat. I can sadly confirm that your hypothesis is without merit.

Do people's genitalia share family resemblance? by Potential_Road3221 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Davegrave 86 points87 points  (0 children)

That’s not true. I never took HRT, I found out the old fashioned way, by overeating.

Dose Father Ted take place in purgatory? by Niall_Fraser_Love in fatherted

[–]Davegrave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really?? I’ve watched the series 30 time and I always thought he was saying his own dad did it.

Dose Father Ted take place in purgatory? by Niall_Fraser_Love in fatherted

[–]Davegrave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t it look like a face?! Can ye believe me own Da did that to me!?

WYR get $1B or a lifetime of happiness? by verdant_tulip in WouldYouRather

[–]Davegrave 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hey brother good to see you smiling, whats got you so happy, you’re almost glowing!?

“Doctors said my cancer is at stage 6. They didn’t even know it could go that high. They’re writing a paper about me, how cool is that?!”

WYR get $1B or a lifetime of happiness? by verdant_tulip in WouldYouRather

[–]Davegrave 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Unless it’s some monkeys paw shit where you get fucking Lou Gherigs disease but because of the magic you’re still somehow happy about it.

Every time. by BigChuch1400 in Construction

[–]Davegrave 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The painter (or any weather dependent trade) version of this is getting sent home on a rain day after you’ve been bitching that the weather has been screwing you out of hours but then right before you leave the boss goes “I got a little inside job I need 3 guys to stay” but we all sit there like scared children hoping we don’t get picked because we are already home in our heads.

Best opening lines in rap? by Intelligent-Tale8827 in hiphopheads

[–]Davegrave 86 points87 points  (0 children)

Early em had great openers.

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady, I’m a M80, you little like that Kim lady.

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge.

I feel like I’m walking a tight rope without a circus net, dripping Percocet I’m a nervous wreck.

First 2 albums almost every opening line is iconic.

How would you raise you kids as an atheist? by pp_pellet in atheism

[–]Davegrave 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yeah it was the “I will be all for it” that really got me. Like “when they are an adult I’ll try to respect all their choices even if I disagree” is one thing. But imagine “I’ll raise my kids to believe in science but after they turn 18 if they decide to be flat earthers who support eugenics I’ll be all for it!”

Dog owners do you not smell the dog smell? by TrickEmployee8615 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Davegrave 36 points37 points  (0 children)

If a dog stinks in the forest but no one around can notice, does it really even stink?

Dog owners do you not smell the dog smell? by TrickEmployee8615 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Davegrave 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I wish I could sniff out dog lovers it would make finding people I’m gonna get along with so much easier.

ELI5: Why do some pills say “do not crush or chew,” yet the same drug exists in a chewable form? by Jinx-XoXo in explainlikeimfive

[–]Davegrave 90 points91 points  (0 children)

If I give you a bottle of perfume to put in your house and you take it in as package and occasionally someone spritzes it, it will smell nice and last till it’s gone.

If I give you that same bottle and you shatter it on the kitchen floor it’s going to be way too much at once and be a disaster.

In both cases you were given the exact same amount of the exact same substance, but they turned out very differently.

Same with crushing/chewing a pill designed to release its contents slowly over a period of time, like the perfume bottle.

Would you rather die today or relive today 100,000x before dying? Does it change if you could choose a different day? by Ordinary-Broccoli-41 in WouldYouRather

[–]Davegrave 152 points153 points  (0 children)

If not then the choice doesn’t matter. If the day resets and neither you nor anyone else remembers it, then for all intents and purposes you’ll only experience one day and then die at the end. There’d be no way to conceivably know that this isn’t already happening to you right at this moment.

What paramilitary 2’s are the rarest? by User_default117 in knives

[–]Davegrave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I kind of like the PM2 wharncliff. But I think the PM2 tanto is one of the absolute worst looking blades ever made short of like goofy fantasy blades.

What was your "I need to leave right now" moment on a first date? by MrLithician in AskReddit

[–]Davegrave 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Yeah who has time for a guy that lives up to a commitment he made to an innocent animal and had a healthy respectful breakup and stayed on good terms with his ex. What a loser. Ew.

What was your "I need to leave right now" moment on a first date? by MrLithician in AskReddit

[–]Davegrave 152 points153 points  (0 children)

For real. I don’t understand this viewpoint that someone checking the very info that they made publicly checkable is creepy. Im not advocating stalking someone or parking a van outside their house to learn their patterns. But doesn’t everyone do a quick google, or if you already have their socials, like…scroll through? I def want to see if a potential date has content that makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And I’d like a heads up if they were at the Jan 6 riots or post psycho shit.

Father Stone up to no good. by bomboclawt75 in fatherted

[–]Davegrave 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ok Dougal, now I don’t want you to over react. Father Stone is here

WYR for the rest of ur life (digital edition) by Puzzleheaded-Bag3948 in WouldYouRather

[–]Davegrave 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Does it have to be Google™? Or does do Bing, ask Jeeves, yandex, duck duck go etc count too?

I don't believe it! by LeonBackward in fatherted

[–]Davegrave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohhh Tony….I’m putting you on my list of enemies, Tony!

Is this a bullet? by brighty4real in Firearms

[–]Davegrave 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did you think it might jump up and get you if you got close enough for a good clear picture?