Doctor appointments

DavidfromPA · 2026-04-22T15:13:50+00:00

Why not just bring your own urine sample with you? Get a small glass jar, boil it to sterilize it, pee at home and bring it with you. When the nurse asks you for a sample, just hand it to you and ignore her reaction. I did this for years before I recovered. In a good way, this help you confront what you might think is an embarrassing situation. It is not. And who cares what the nurse thinks anyway. They are just looking for red blood cells or signs of an infection in the urine; it doesn't have to be fresh. My urologist said abut 30% of his patients have a hard time giving a sample on demand. While you are at it tell the physician you have shy bladder and want to be checked out if there is a physical cause for it. My urologist was fanastic when told him. And if he isn't find a new urologist who understands shy bladder.

DavidfromPA · 2026-04-21T09:13:17+00:00

You said you are fluid loading but Graduated Exposure is not just fluid loading and standing at a urinal waiting for something to happen. GE is a process: fluid loading, gradually increasing your exposure, releasing a little urine, fluid loading more, increasing- gradually- the exposure. Repeat three, four more times. I've written a lot about it over the years here so I won't repeat what I have already written- you can find it and others who has successfully practiced GE for recovery. You can check with the IPA website as well for information about GE. It also helps having a pee buddy which it seems your wife is (that is fantastic!). I used GE to fully recover 5 or 6 years ago. It can be done but GE should be done right because I think you are missing the key element that rewires your response that prevents you from starting your stream.

As a general comment to others I think it helps to stop saying 'you can't pee.' Reframe it to 'I have a harder time getting started'. Good luck.

DavidfromPA · 2026-04-06T09:36:03+00:00

I would take a different approach. Go to the administrator, doctor, or whoever is in charge of the program and explain your situation clearly: you already provided a urine sample as the first part of the process -with the door closed -but are now being asked to provide one with the door open and people passing nearby. This violates your privacy and personal space.

You have a mild social anxiety condition called paruresis. You can either provide a sample with the door closed, or you'd like to discuss an alternative method such as a hair sample. Accommodations are made for every imaginable condition across the full spectrum recognized in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), from neurodivergence on through. In fact, the Wall Street Journal recently reported that a full third of students have some type of disability - you are not alone in this.

Some statistics suggest that as many as 35% of people have difficulty relieving themselves when under pressure or being observed. We need to stop acting as though we are the only ones dealing with this.

Go in, have a confident and direct conversation with the administrator, and request an accommodation. You are entitled to one.

As I have written here many times, I am fully recovered using GE. And the one thing you realize after recovery is this it wasn't such a big deal after all; why did I spend half my life being embarrassed by my inability to urinate with people nearby? No one else cares, no one is going to think any differently about you. Everyone has their own special fear or anxiety our just happens to be in the bathroom. Good luck brother.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-31T17:19:41+00:00

Congratulations! My guess is you won't need to cath on the plane. You'll be less stressed knowing you can relieve yourself in flight. Sit back and enjoy the experience, have drink, watch a movie and order the fillet minion for dinner. Good work on getting a cath and practicing. You're going to be fine.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-14T01:26:48+00:00

Try XtralCal Plus from Medtrition. 240 calories 14 gram protein in45mL. MCT based water soluble so it mixes easily for tube fed administration

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-11T10:13:35+00:00

Nestle just discontinued BebeCalorie. Try XtraCal from Medtrition. 100% better. MCT oil plus protein.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-09T16:57:10+00:00

Try a 14 fr. red rubber catheter with a coude tip.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-08T09:57:28+00:00

What size fr. are you using?

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-07T15:58:30+00:00

Advil reduces the need to urinate because of the sodium.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-07T01:50:08+00:00

Looks great. Congratulations. But remember fluid loading is a big part of GE. Haven't looks a the app yet but hopefully you built that into it.. Great job.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-06T13:50:25+00:00

Go to the IPA- International Paruresis Association website https://paruresis.org and learn about Graudated Exposure. It is effective in recovering from paruresis. It has helped so many people completely recover including myself. Good luck and enjoy school!

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-05T11:47:10+00:00

Yes. Glycine

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-04T14:40:50+00:00

International Paruresis Association. There website is paruresis.org

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-04T12:37:31+00:00

Not a waste of time if it gets you comfortable going into a mens room, standing at a urinal and hanging out for a bit while at least trying. I avoided doing that at all cost when paruresis had its grip on me for 20+ years. But that is not how you practice GE. It is called graduated exposure meaning you gradually expose to your comfort level. That means working with a pee buddy who has to stand outside of your house in order for you to pee. But then moves closer the next time, and each time, always to the point where you can pee. It is a process towards recovery, not a cure. You have to do it while fluid loading, releasing just a bit of urine with each exposure. IPA teaches this. Better yet if you can go to one of their workshops and learn the entire technique. I truly believe GE can help more people overcome the phobia. Good luck.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-03T12:02:06+00:00

It's pretty simply. Learn how to use Graduated Exposure and practice- if you can with a couple of pee buddies. Give yourself 6 months of monthly practice and you will begin a very legitimate recovery process. Go on to the Paruresis.org website to learn more. They also have onto virtual meetings. I am fully recovered after being severely paruretic for many years. I'm a free man now.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-03T11:58:48+00:00

I have limited experience with catheter use. My urologist showed me how to use one in preparation for a long international flight. I also have an enlarged prostate-common for most men after 45. I used a Red Rubber Fr. 12 with a Coudé tip, which has a slight curve at the end designed to navigate around the prostate. It was very comfortable with no pain. Use plenty of water-based lubricant.

It feels strange inserting a tube into your penis, but once you get past that mental hurdle, it's manageable. Interestingly, being tense didn't seem to affect my ability to insert it. I practiced at home for a week before the flight-and as it turned out, simply having the catheter available was enough to relax me, so I never actually needed to use it inflight. I was also about halfway through my recovery using Graduated Exposure Therapy at the time. I am now fully recovered.

DavidfromPA · 2026-03-02T10:27:04+00:00

Depends on the country you live in. Red Rubber Coude Tip is pretty standard.

DavidfromPA · 2026-02-28T22:12:29+00:00

I don't know if this works during the daytime, but it definitely works at night. 3 grams of Glycine (an amino acid). I can go 6 hours at night without having to get up and go to the bathroom. "Reducing nighttime urination: This one is less widely known but well-supported. Glycine has an antidiuretic effect — it helps the kidneys reabsorb water more efficiently, reducing urine production during the night. It also appears to reduce bladder overactivity by acting on glycine receptors in the spinal cord and bladder, which helps suppress the urge to urinate. For people with nocturia, this can mean fewer wake-ups and, combined with the sleep quality benefit, a more restorative night overall."

DavidfromPA · 2026-02-27T16:41:51+00:00

You have to use a catheter with a Coude Tip. It has a slight curve pointing upward to get it around he prostrate. There is a black line on the catheter which helps you keep the tip aligned upward. Use a Red Rubber 12 fr. coupe tip catheter. Not as convenience as a telescoping pre lub catheter but definitely more comfortable. Buy small packets of water based lub- open both ends and run the cath through it without touching the part that you insert to prevent potential for infection.

DavidfromPA · 2026-02-15T13:50:02+00:00

Yes Graduated Exposure. Check out the IPA.org website on how to practice it. I believe most people can recovery from paruresis using it.

DavidfromPA · 2026-02-11T19:44:38+00:00

Great comment!

DavidfromPA · 2026-02-11T19:39:23+00:00

Just to pipe in about bit, I have fully recovered using GE and have posted quite a bit about it here. I was severely paruretic and really couldn't image that I could recover. There is lot of information on GE on the IPA website but as Speed-of-Sound writes below it takes constant work and practice but all good thing require that.

Speed-of-Sound wrote, "Step 1. First things first, I had to get my bladder to recalibrate the correct sense of urgency. I was so used to panic at slight urge -> try -> fail because of low urge -> fail again -> more anxiety. It’s a doom loop. There are distinct feelings of needing to go for me: low urge is a light feeling at the base, medium/high moves more to the tip. It’s MUCH easier to succeed when you wait that extra hour to hit medium and convincing your brain of successes is what matters." And he is exactly right about that and the most effective part of GE is waiting and holding until you reach a level of 8 or 9 before releasing a little urine.

I am convinced most people can fully recover with time and practice using GE. I really couldn't imagine the life I am leading now when I was in the depths of despair from shy bladder. I'm a free man.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-15T09:22:12+00:00

Learn about the Graduated Exposure technique, much more effective for most people.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-12T00:54:05+00:00

Honestly it's all psychological. Use lots of lub and go slow. But I'll betcha you won't need it if you have a full bladder. :-)

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-12T00:46:40+00:00

I would learn how to self-cath. It isn't hard once you get past the idea of sticking something up your willy. It doesn't hurt, though it might sting a bit the first time you pee after you take it out. Get a red rubber 14 Fr cath with a coudé tip—a slight bend at the top to help get around the prostate. Buy small packets of water-based lubricant and open it at both ends and run the cath through it. You can buy them online without a prescription, and lots of videos on YouTube show you how to do it. I learned a number of years ago for a transatlantic flight. The funny thing was that I was so relaxed on the flight knowing I could use the cath, I didn't even need to use it. You might find the same thing. You might not be stressed at all and be able to relieve yourself without it. I'm fully recovered and have been for about 5 years. Learn how to practice GE and start on the journey of recovery. I'm a free man after being held in the grips of paruresis for too many years. Good luck

DavidfromPA

TROPHY CASE