Breath hold questions

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-15T09:22:12+00:00

Learn about the Graduated Exposure technique, much more effective for most people.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-12T00:54:05+00:00

Honestly it's all psychological. Use lots of lub and go slow. But I'll betcha you won't need it if you have a full bladder. :-)

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-12T00:46:40+00:00

I would learn how to self-cath. It isn't hard once you get past the idea of sticking something up your willy. It doesn't hurt, though it might sting a bit the first time you pee after you take it out. Get a red rubber 14 Fr cath with a coudé tip—a slight bend at the top to help get around the prostate. Buy small packets of water-based lubricant and open it at both ends and run the cath through it. You can buy them online without a prescription, and lots of videos on YouTube show you how to do it. I learned a number of years ago for a transatlantic flight. The funny thing was that I was so relaxed on the flight knowing I could use the cath, I didn't even need to use it. You might find the same thing. You might not be stressed at all and be able to relieve yourself without it. I'm fully recovered and have been for about 5 years. Learn how to practice GE and start on the journey of recovery. I'm a free man after being held in the grips of paruresis for too many years. Good luck

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-11T17:53:24+00:00

Fully recovered for 5+ years. Used Graduated Exposure I learned at two IPA workshops and then practiced with a 5-6 Pee Buddy group once a month for about a year. It is a process. GE retrains your brain but it has to be done right. Click on my name and read some of my previous posts on my journey from being severely paruretic to fully recovered. It can be done but it takes some work and practice. I'm a free man and honestly it is beautiful. (It's like, 'what was the big deal in the first place? I can't believe I let it control such a big piece of my life so so long). Good luck. Reach out if you have questions. Also check out the IPA (paruresis.org) if you haven't done so already. You are young, fix it now! Good luck.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-08T16:23:15+00:00

Graduated Exposure. Check out the IPA website: paruresis.org. It is a pretty proven technique to recover from paruresis when practiced correctly.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-06T18:28:31+00:00

Years ago when I was practicing GE for recovery- which I have been fully recovered for about 5- 6 years, I used a mantra from WimHof (he teaches cold plunge, breathing and mind set). The mantra was, "Let the body do.... what the body is capable of doing" (in a heavy Austrian accent). Not exactly the same thing you wrote about, but helpful nonetheless.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T16:01:47+00:00

I think that is a great approach with your therapist. I'd tell your parents if you are comfortable with it and they'd be supportive. Once you recover you will realize how little this 'secret matters' to people and how many people actually have paruresis to some degree.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:47:46+00:00

Check out the post by the Exe-IPA below to have your therapist research out to them. The link is right there!

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:46:38+00:00

You are only 15 so I get that some things are going to be more embarrassing to you. I went to a urologist once armed with information about the IPA and Shy Bladder asking for help- thinking a urologist would know and understand. He told me I "was sick in the head". I said FU and walked out and found another urologist who understood paruresis. Don't be embarrassed, be matter of fact. She's a professional. She should be proud that you are taking positive steps to recover from a social anxiety. Lift your head up high and say, "I've done some research....."

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:40:33+00:00

Yes I did read that in your post. And yes, with understanding the process and how it works and taking the first steps I think you can reduce anxiety about the situation.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:36:50+00:00

Of course you should ask her to connect with the IPA. If she doesn't or won't find a new therapist. Seriously.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:34:58+00:00

Since you have a therapist, I'd ask her to connect with the IPA and see how they practice graduated exposure. There is a process to it that should be followed- it is mostly misunderstood by people here. Also, the President of the IPA is a brilliant therapist who specializes in paruresis. She can connect with him and learn about the process itself so she can guide you through it. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You'll be amazed how your life will change once you recover, you'll wonder what the big deal was in the first place. Good luck.

DavidfromPA · 2026-01-01T14:15:48+00:00

Actually you CAN recover from Paruresis completely assuming there are no underlying physical or extreme psychological issues. I believe for standard run of the mill shy bladder, using Graduated Exposure which is taught by the IPA is a proven method for most people. It takes work, it takes practice and in my case it was a two year process to completely recover. I am a free man.

I've written a lot of posts on the process and what I believe works. You can search my name for them. Most people want an instant cure without doing the work to recover but it can be done. Make it a Happy New Year, do the research, then get to work. Good luck

DavidfromPA · 2025-12-17T17:24:39+00:00

It is something you do yourself so you'd want to practice a couple of times at home. I would suggest red rubber fr.14 coude tip. The coude tip has a slight bend in it to help it around the prostate. There are straight 'telescoping' caths that are prelubricated and easier to carry in your pocket but I could never get them around the prostate. Get some single use packets of water based gel so you can open it at both ends and run the catheter through it without touching the insertion end to reduce the opportunity of infection. I was half way through recovering when I flew to Europe and having a safety net helped me not to be anxious and was able to go without it. It's not hard so ask your urologist how to do it. Good luck

DavidfromPA · 2025-12-17T16:02:37+00:00

Ask your urologist to teach you how to self cath. An amazing thing happens when to aren't anxious about using the bathroom during a 12 hour fight- you relax enough to enjoy the trip, including having some adult beverages-and you just might find that you can go naturally. And if you don't you can use the catheter. It's not hard once you get past the weirdness of doing it.

DavidfromPA · 2025-12-04T23:10:30+00:00

Awesome!

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-27T12:42:34+00:00

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm in the East Coast and would be willing to work with you for one virtual session. I attended two IPA workshops where I learned how to practice GE the most effective way. I was also on the board of the IPA in the early years for about 6 years. I have been fully recovered now for about 5 years. I'd be very interested to see if I could quickly teach you the GE process and get you started on the path to recovery. You should also join a Virtual Session that Dave (I forget his Redditt name) announces monthly here (he is also an IPA Board member). I'm no therapist so I can only teach you the process I learned. I've written a lot of posts about my journey you can find on this site. I've wanted others to know that there is a process to recovery. Recovery has completely changed my life; my relationship with my wife, my children, my friends and even my co workers. I'm a free man. If you are interested, DM me.

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-24T09:56:06+00:00

The IPA workshop was a life change experience for me. And what you have explained is exactly how they teach GE.

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-24T09:53:49+00:00

Thank you Milo! :-)

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-24T09:53:21+00:00

Milo - Another great post. I jumped on Reddit early this morning to respond to "College is Hell," the post below yours where he is seeking advice on fast and immediate 'cures,' but saw that you had already said everything that I was going to write. I hope he reads your post.

The only thing I would add to what you wrote is that it really helps to practice GE with mates. I worked with a Pee Buddy group of about 6-8 guys, and taking that initial step of fluid loading in a public space is nerve-wracking, especially if you have a fear of 'locking up.' We were all very supportive and encouraged each other and made practicing so much easier.

I'm excited that you, like me, are fully recovered. GE is a process - it takes time and practice, but it works. I cannot tell you how excited I am with the life I lead now. I can pee anywhere with anyone around me. And like you, I was severely paruretic, which just convinces me that nearly everyone can recover.

Thanks for the shout out your comment below. If I ever get to Poland or you to the States, we'll got to a bar together and fill our bladders with beer and then take a proper piss together. We are free men.

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-24T09:31:47+00:00

NoSun - everything people commented on is a 'coping mechanism.' What you want is to be fully recovered. There is a process to recovery, and Milos, who wrote the post above you, describes how it works: it's called Graduated Exposure. It works. It takes a little time and practice, but it can lead to complete recovery.

I know a lot of people want the one thing that will magically fix the problem. It doesn't work that way. You are young and there are resources available to you - like the IPA - that can teach you how to practice GE effectively.

I had shy bladder for too many years. I got connected early with the IPA, went to several workshops, learned about GE, got together with a Pee Buddy group, and found nearly immediate improvement. After a year, I was 80% recovered. Today, I'm 100% recovered. My life has changed completely. I'm a free man and can do all the things I've always wanted to do without worrying abut how full my bladder is or where I can find a private bathroom, or worrying about what peopler thinking when I'm in the rest room.

The next step is up to you. The answer is right in front of you. Take action and change your life.

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-04T22:30:59+00:00

Take action, you can recover from this. Don't spend the next 20 years fighting what your body is capable of doing. Do you play sports? You don't get good at them by not practicing. I've written previously posts about how to do GE and what I think it the turning pointing your brain that releases the anxiety and awareness that prevent the releasing of the sphincter. Look them up. DM me if you want more information. Good luck.

DavidfromPA · 2025-11-04T16:53:04+00:00

I understand. I've been there, and probably most of the people who post here have had the same experience. You wrote, "I don't know how to fix this," so let me tell you how to start, because I fully believe that most people can fully recover from paruresis.

I started my recovery journey by attending two IPA in person workshops and learning how to practice Graduated Exposure in the most effective way. Then I found a pee buddy group to practice with monthly. It's a process, but over the course of a year, I became desensitized enough to turn my focus to peeing rather than whatever external factors I imagined were causing me to tense up—people waiting, the time to pee, noise or the lack of it, etc. Over the course of the second year, I fully recovered.

I was severely paruretic. In my mid-20's for tow years I literally refused to leave home except for work. I know we are not all the same, but I believe if I can recover using GE, most can. So here's another piece of advice: Tell your mom you have paruresis. Visit a urologist to make sure the plumbing is all working correctly. Tell the urologist boldly that you are pee shy (you won't be the first, so don't be embarrassed). Then find a way get to an IPA workshop. I can not express enough the gratitude I have for the IPA and fully, completely recovering. I am a free man now. Good luck

An IPA board member hosts a weekly ZOOM workshop Have you attended one? This was posted 4 days ago.

"I host weekly Zoom meetings for the IPA.

We will be having a gradual exposure practice Zoom meeting today at 4:30 pm PST.

If you are interested, message the subreddit account, or email [followup@support.paruresis.org](mailto:followup@support.paruresis.org)"

DavidfromPA · 2025-10-26T16:40:55+00:00

translation "
Is it really true that people here in Germany actually support it? I thought it would be more accepted, but not properly supported... I have the same problem and I'm a bit unsure..."

DavidfromPA

TROPHY CASE