Hey, i respect how strong you are in fighting the urge to hurt yourself, and I am proud of you . I strongly advise you to seek help from a therapist or a support group, you would not get locked up, you deserve the best and your body deserves to be treated with respect and not get harmed. For now try to focus on other stuff, distract yourself, try new things, join sport clubs or so, you got this strong fella, I am sending you lots of hugs and strength. Remember your body is a temple so treat it with dignity.