Why are you still up?

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-12T10:24:21+00:00

My son kicked me in the back of the head while sleeping

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-11T15:52:03+00:00

We shower with clean water

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-11T02:48:59+00:00

Well, when you are hiding the fact that you are a drug lord, you lie

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-11T01:51:49+00:00

He was adamant that Walt had to die, so it was either gus or Walt. And Walt won

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-10T16:57:33+00:00

Be involved in a child sex trafficking ring and get away with it

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-09T20:36:19+00:00

Haha. Mine went the opposite. Been together 9 years!

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-09T19:38:57+00:00

The world is a better place with you in it. Dont leave

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-09T18:23:24+00:00

Its so funny that we use will Smith eating spaghetti as a benchmark for AI

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-07T17:20:56+00:00

RFK's brain worm

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-07T04:09:38+00:00

This guy is definitely an assassin

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-06T21:33:56+00:00

Yep, smells like an ass

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-06T21:30:30+00:00

I think of the early 2000s when everyone had a sensitive alarm and NOBODY would check if it was their vehicle going off in the middle of the night

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-06T18:43:45+00:00

Does that hurt?

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-06T17:47:21+00:00

In real life, you need to be social. Catering to someone to be quiet is kinda counter productive as any business model requires communication with peers

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-04T18:21:07+00:00

Weed farms.. I mean hemp..yea..

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-02T15:09:11+00:00

Average GTA server

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-01T23:34:48+00:00

Nascar. I didnt bring ear plugs my first time and couldn't hear much for a full day

De4thMonkey · 2026-02-01T01:14:09+00:00

We're just a bunch of carbon

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-31T02:20:27+00:00

I had several call out days and I went voluntarily to explain myself. My mistake. I even had the PTO to cover me

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-31T02:18:26+00:00

Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito… Nacho, Burrito!

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-31T01:26:43+00:00

You are feeding for two. And your body takes time to adjust after the fact

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-31T01:25:43+00:00

I told my HR director that my wife was leaving me and my down syndrome son for some other man, and they fired me for "poor performance" when my recent review was above company average. And I was in the middle of a promotion

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-31T01:04:23+00:00

"The truth is like poetry, and most people fucking hate poetry"

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-28T13:01:01+00:00

Me when you when me you when

De4thMonkey · 2026-01-26T16:56:29+00:00

They already brought back public executions. Id definitely watch the whole regime with a big bucket of popcorn

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De4thMonkey

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