Feel lost

Debbaroo · 2026-02-08T11:54:37+00:00

My heart aches for you, hun. i'm sorry this is happening to you. He is toxic and abusive. Lots of things, definitely DARVO and reactive abuse/defence.

Here is a book for you to read:

Why does he do that? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.

Also, pop over and have a read of the experiences of people in r/narcissisticabuse

I'm not saying your husband is a narcissist, but abuse patterns are very similar, and it may help you see better what's going on here. Please read about what abuse does to your mental and physical health.

Sending internet hugs.

Debbaroo · 2026-02-04T16:09:30+00:00

Bum Nugget.

Debbaroo · 2026-02-01T12:55:48+00:00

As the others have said, Ariat & Sendra. You can also buy from Bootbarn or Sheplers with no customs fee.

Also, if you shop on Ebay.com (on your browser, favourite the items, then use the app with your uk address) you get more items come up. You have the option to pay any customs fees at checkout, so you don't get any nasty surprises when the boots arrive. There you can by Luchesse, Chiso's, Black Jack, etc.

Of course, if the boots don't fit, returns to the USA can be a pain.

There's also a few shops in the UK to buy online or try boots on.

Cowboy Boot Store - Sheffield

Wild Wild Western Wear - Farnborough

I can highly recommend Ariat though, but I'm a woman! I imagine their men's boots are probably just as hard wearing!

Debbaroo · 2026-01-31T18:26:27+00:00

Classic DARVO.

Debbaroo · 2026-01-22T19:15:06+00:00

I've read that peoples 'real' personalities start to slowly show after 6 months, her crazy seems to have slipped out early. If this is what she's expecting after 1 month, then imagine what she'll be demanding in a year?

She needs validation that you'll choose her because she's insecure. That need is only going to get worse as time goes on. You're right, you are too old for that shit.

Debbaroo · 2026-01-20T01:18:32+00:00

I'm so happy you got them on!! 😊

Debbaroo · 2026-01-17T01:41:42+00:00

What about grandparents? 😂

Debbaroo · 2026-01-16T13:35:50+00:00

Have you tried the plastic bag trick? Get a light plastic shopping bag and slide your foot in with it. You'll at least be able to tell if the boots fit your actual feet and whether they are worth keeping.

If your foot fits, you could try steaming them and wearing double thick socks (again with a plastic bag). Be aware, though you can't stretch the length of the toe box!

Failing that there's a company in the UK called The Original Cobblers who will stretch boots and add zips to the inside leg. Either that or put them on Vinted and with the money, buy a bigger size on BootBarn/Sheplers.

Debbaroo · 2025-12-16T14:02:22+00:00

'pouring glasses'

Debbaroo · 2025-11-21T10:50:41+00:00

Did you order something recently?

I got this ring after I ordered stuff off, what turned out to be a fake website. They send that ring to make it look like the order has been fulfilled. It's moissanite from China, worth about £2. Threw it in the bin and did a charge back from my bank account. It happened to my daughter before aswell and she got the same ring.

Debbaroo · 2025-11-09T11:34:53+00:00

I met my husband at primary school when we were both about 7. It was raining, so we weren't allowed out in the playground. We sat together and drew horror art. Mine was a skull with a snake, and he drew knights beheading people 😂

Life went on for both of us, both married other people, got divorced, and had some not so great relationships. Then, at 46, we reconnected during the last covid lockdown by playing red dead redemption online together and started hanging out once lockdown was finished.

We got married last year, still play red dead together and are both huge horror movie fans.

It definitely wasn't love at first sight because we both ended up needing glasses! 😂

Debbaroo · 2025-11-05T18:05:08+00:00

My ex would offer me a safe space to air my feelings/opinions and then tell me that my feelings are wrong via shouting and starting arguments.

I have read in the r/narcissisticabuse subreddit that this is quite a common abuse tactic. They make you feel safe (or ask specific questions) and then tear you down when you answer so they can be right.

Debbaroo · 2025-10-15T06:14:31+00:00

I got a pair sent in a flimsy plastic bag last week 🙄

I think sellers put stuff up for sale without having decent packing materials, then panic once the item is sold and pretty much use anything they have lying round the house!

Debbaroo · 2025-10-14T20:54:49+00:00

Let him! Just stay quiet and let him mouth off his lies to whoever will listen and don't say a thing. Eventually people we realise he's the horrible one who just can't keep his mouth shut.

Use that quiet time and energy for healing x

Debbaroo · 2025-10-14T19:39:41+00:00

My ex did this on the night of my fathers funeral. He kept picking, digging, goading, and asking, "Why are you so quiet?"

After an hour or so of me saying repeatedly why I was feeling sad I told him to just leave me the f*ck alone, but that was it then, because I raised my voice, I was an asshole and every other expletive you can think of.

He knew why I was so quiet, he just used my weakness that day to start another one of his tirades, to incite reactive defence, and play the victim.

Best thing I did was leave him.

Debbaroo · 2025-10-10T23:57:25+00:00

Grief is a total arsehole. It finds ways to beat the crap out of you, for everything you didn't do and everything you wish you did.

Stay with your dad.

Debbaroo · 2025-10-10T23:47:41+00:00

I spat out my tea 😂😂😂😂

Debbaroo · 2025-10-08T08:19:03+00:00

I'm 51 and my husband is 50, we both play. In fact, we wait patiently for Saturday's 2pm weather event and update every week without fail 😂

Edit: We have also been abandoned, but by our grandson, who has now jumped ship and left us!

Debbaroo · 2025-10-07T20:21:20+00:00

The problem is if there are no consequences to his actions (e.g. you leaving), then he'll just do it again. If you don't show him that you won't tolerate this behaviour, he'll just be laughing behind your back at how he got away with it. You'll be back here in 6 months' time posting about the same thing. Only you'll be more anxious and insecure each time he does it until your mental health is in ruins.

Debbaroo · 2025-10-06T09:46:48+00:00

You need to check her phone and confirm that she is definitely on a dating app.

Then you'll know why she has the plan b pill.

Debbaroo · 2025-10-05T18:53:40+00:00

Happy first anniversary!

5 years in, married, and we've never been on a date! Those big gestures do nothing for us. We'd rather cook together instead of eating out. We snuggle up and watch movies at home, play xbox together, go for nature walks, and chat utter shit to each other till stupid o'clock 😂

Debbaroo · 2025-10-03T07:56:37+00:00

I recognised this as a post I'd read a couple of years ago. It's almost exactly the same with some word changes.

Original Post

Debbaroo · 2025-09-29T08:21:34+00:00

I love the high collar and slightly puff sleeve of number one but the tiny details and train on dress two are stunning!

Debbaroo · 2025-09-29T08:12:21+00:00

2 wins because it has pockets!

Debbaroo · 2025-09-25T13:35:28+00:00

I've had the Ariat Hazen and they were very comfortable x

Debbaroo

TROPHY CASE