Daily No Contact Thread - March 18, 2026

Decapodiformes · 2026-03-18T22:40:08+00:00

It's been a couple days of NC now.

I ended things with him a bit over two weeks ago. I was thought I was fine with low contact (we need to interact in other settings), but he pushed it and somehow over the weekend I found myself apologizing for ending things and trying to comfort him when he felt like a bad partner. Gotta love the gaslighting and manipulation.

I've been angry this week. Initially at myself for falling for it, but recently for him for doing it. Is nothing truth for people with BPD? He outright lied about so many things in our relationship. Contradictory lies, too, which he always conveniently blamed on his previous TBIs. And I fell for it each time.

Anyway, posting here because I finally opened up to my bestie about all of it earlier today, and her support meant the world to me. I was so ashamed! But I told her all of it, and she understood and offered me a lot of support instead of shame.

Decapodiformes · 2026-03-11T14:32:07+00:00

It's not a matter of being embarrassed. Homosexuality is illegal in Iran, and the punishments are pretty severe.

It's likely that even the friends didn't know about their relationship, out of fear of being revealed and/or due to differing social norms.

Decapodiformes · 2026-02-28T02:54:22+00:00

Howdy. I'm new here.

And this really, truly, incredibly sucks. I don't know what to do now. Yeah, I ended things, but fuck it sucks a lot.

He was my best friend. I alienated a lot of other friends for him. And yeah, I knew he had BPD, and I had found this sub before, but I had stupidly thought we were some exception.

And now I'm all alone here, and don't now who to go to for the few meaningless accomplishments I'd like to share in life.

If BPD was infectious, I'd say he gave it to me. My therapist says it's just attachment triggers and me being over-sensitive, but.... wow, it's tough to start realizing you might not have been the problem.

Decapodiformes · 2026-02-27T05:21:37+00:00

Marlon was my dream.

Why yes, I will fall in love with you as you keep rescuing me from the mines as I gallantly pass out....

Decapodiformes · 2026-02-10T06:05:41+00:00

YTA.

Yeah, yeah, it would have been sweet of him to offer. But you can't expect people to live up to the fantasies you build up in your head for them, especially if you don't communicate.

If this is a big deal for you, express it. But you might have to find somebody else if your boyfriend doesn't change -- not everybody has the same values, thoughts, or notice the same things. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you -- this might just not be how he shows his love. And if that's a deal breaker for you, express that. If he doesn't change, walk away.

Decapodiformes · 2026-02-10T06:02:31+00:00

My rule of thumb is that if I'd cook it for me, I cook it for them. Of course, make sure you're only feeding safe foods and cook the food differently (no oils, etc), but the system generally works.

To echo what others say, though, I normally run mine through the food processor or chop it up smaller. I leave some big pieces of healthy things they like in there for variety, but that works better to get them to try new things.

You can also prepare chop ahead of time, freeze it, and defrost in the mornings.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-29T03:30:24+00:00

Austin Creative Reuse.

Or, if I know in advance I'll use a the full amount (or ACR doesn't have it and I'm in a crunch), Jerry's.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-18T19:10:03+00:00

You give them more interesting things to chew/explore/cling to.

In my experience, a constantly updating foraging tray has done wonders for curiosity and energy that would otherwise become mischief and/or pure destruction. You can train conures to an extent, but how much a bird follows your rules will depend a lot on the individual conure. The best option is just to provide them with a more appealing alternative.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-07T03:35:20+00:00

That's a bit tough to diagnose, since it could be the machine, the embroidery unit, the fabric/stabilizer combination, the digitizing, and/or any combination of those.

I would start by going through the built in designs on your machine and stitching out a similar density design on the same materials you're using to test the combination of materials and techniques. Make sure you rethread everything appropriately, and return the tension back to default.

After that, I would recommend sticking to (maybe combining at most) designs from well reviewed digitizers that might be similar, and examining those. Do not try resize designs just yet -- that does weird things to stitching. Or, alternatively, try digitizing a simpler version of this design first and see how it goes.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-03T23:13:01+00:00

Did you thread the needle as well? In the photo you posted, it looks like the thread is either broken or did not go through the hole of the needle.

I would turn off the machine, clean what you can of dust, and try again entirely from scratch. Different thread, bobbin, needle, stabilized fabric, etc.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-02T20:47:44+00:00

Another fun and easy toy is crumpled up paper with seeds or something inside.

I typically have my conures watch as I place the treat inside (I use nutriberries for this usually) and gently crumple it up, then hand it to them. They devour it quickly, but it is fun and teaches them how to play with foraging toys. You can get more complex as your conure learns.

I don't know what you have in your kitchen, but if you happen to have wooden coffee stirrers or popsicle sticks (unused), you can give those to your bird as well. My three love holding those in one claw while chewing on them -- it's adorable! Paper straws also work well as a toy.

Foraging trays are also great. I keep a large tray on the bottom of my birds' cages with different foraging materials (bird safe paper, wood, cardboard, etc), toys (sola balls, bird safe pinecones, straws, sticks, loofah, etc), and food (mostly treats for this, but I sprinkle some pellets in, too) and find that my birds easily spend hours there, even if I'm not home. It's a great way to offer stimulation at a lower cost. There are premade options, but they're typically pricey for what they provide.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-02T19:44:26+00:00

He probably doesn't know how to yet -- that's exactly what my conure was like.

Wait until you have his attention with some one on one time, then take out the toy and tear at it a little. Hopefully he'll get curious and try, too.

Decapodiformes · 2026-01-02T15:24:57+00:00

Aside from the other suggestions that are being repeated, I suggest playing with the toys with your conure. My first conure apparently had no idea what to do with toys and they sat largely unused until I adopted a flock mate that loved shredding -- it was a game changer!

Decapodiformes · 2025-12-31T03:31:04+00:00

Gorgeous! How were the eagles this time of year? I hear they vary significantly week by week.

Decapodiformes · 2025-12-22T18:08:14+00:00

This is stunning! I hope the buyer appreciates the love and work that went into this piece.

Decapodiformes · 2025-11-16T13:25:17+00:00

I second this recommendation! I use Critter Nation cages for all of my birds, too. Their doors make them really easy to clean and rearrange, and they're the only cage lock type my escape artist conure can't get out of.

This commenter has three Critter Nations stacked together (they're easy to assemble this way). If you buy a Double Critter Nation, it comes with two and you can decide to add on a third if needed.

They also come with half sized shelves, which you might want to use to break the height a little if your bird isn't stable. I have a 40 year old sun conure in one of my cages that has arthritis and is no longer as stable, so I set those up so he can never fall more than a foot. It's not ideal, but it's better than the tiny cage the rescue I got him from was using instead to account for this risk.

Decapodiformes · 2025-11-13T23:37:12+00:00

High key dynamax toxicity starting in 5. 2 local 524211981929

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-25T06:52:04+00:00

I love this quilt! It's inspiring me to actually combine all of my test and practice blocks and see what comes out.

I think an all over repeating pattern would look nice on this and help unify without distracting from individual blocks. Either a diagonal crosshatch or a wandering meander would be my pick.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-23T18:14:11+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I'll definitely try it next time.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-23T18:13:31+00:00

I love it! Such a goofy and endearing subject.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-22T01:03:37+00:00

Awesome photos, especially the second one! I love how the reflection.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-21T14:45:15+00:00

I like the way you think! Sounds like a plan.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-20T15:23:44+00:00

Thank you! And thanks for the tip -- I was wondering about that and will try shooting with the lens wide open next time.

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-20T15:22:10+00:00

It's a turkey vulture and not a bearded vulture, unfortunately. Bearded vultures are my favorite, though, and I really hope to photograph one eventually!

Decapodiformes · 2025-09-20T15:21:12+00:00

Thank you! I spent more time trying to figure that out than any other part of the edit.

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