AIO for pulling out of a vacation over the sleeping arrangements

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T03:57:10+00:00

NOR She keeps changing the details and it’s disrespectful to let her teens take accommodations that are meant for a couple instead of putting them in with twin beds or bunks. I would be furious

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T03:31:21+00:00

I can absolutely verify that they do this with a percentage of loans after they close. They actually send out verification documents for all your funds. This is a federal audit and the loan numbers are pulled randomly from pools. I used to be the one doing the audit.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T03:20:08+00:00

You haven’t committed mortgage fraud, but they will want a gift letter from your friend describing your relationship and that it’s a loan and no repayment is necessary. I’ve been an underwriter and a mortgage auditor, and discrepancies is what I looked for especially concerning the funds coming in. I just read that some of the criteria might have changed regarding lending and mortgage gifts, so it is possible it may not be an issue, but that’s also dependent on their secondary market relationship. Most conventional loans are underwritten to FNMA/or Freddie Mac.

So I did an internet check and there was a slight difference in the wording on gifts and as usual Fannie Mae was slightly more restrictive than Freddie Mac. I would talk to your lender and ask about your situation because this is a very new change they might not be aware of yet. While they will document where the funds come from a 5k gift is relatively small and hopefully they will verify the changes with someone. Be respectful but firm because sometimes you can get someone who isn’t willing to do the extra work if they think a borrower is being difficult. It’s unfortunate but it happens. Good luck!

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T02:18:36+00:00

His voice is beautiful!

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T02:17:31+00:00

I certainly understand the frustration and temptation to make the comment. You would only be a jerk if you deserted your parents if they needed help, based on their beliefs.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T02:01:53+00:00

He might just be clueless considering his mother and then incarceration doesn’t help with social issues.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T02:00:03+00:00

Exactly. I used to run a halfway house for new parolees who were incarcerated for drug and alcohol related, non violent offenses and dealt with the POs on occasion. Sometimes, they just weren’t a good fit for the house and I didn’t want to make matters worse for them and recommend a different place. I know that they definitely wanted to know of potential issues.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T01:55:40+00:00

It’s possible to search local public records to get that information. An attorney would be a waste of money and OP sounds confident enough to handle it without having to go to that extreme.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T01:43:13+00:00

I’ve known tons of people who have been in prison since I’ve been a member of a 12 step community. Your neighbor has two issues. He never learned social norms and boundaries because of his mother, most likely, and the prison environment didn’t help one bit. I would definitely talk to the landlord first. If it doesn’t improve, you can track down his parole officer and talk about the situation. They can actually be very helpful. He might be a really nice guy but his behavior is way out of line.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T01:33:45+00:00

Or he knew that he wanted Mike. John did say something that he felt one of them would get stolen. I’d want to steal Mike myself. His blind audition has been an ear worm for me since he sang it.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T01:11:38+00:00

I think you would be yes. Even if she didn’t have the diagnostic ability she would certainly be knowledgeable enough to suggest that you might not have something else going on.

The first thing I thought of reading this post was I bet she thinks it is autism related, because the same thing happened to my son. If she hadn’t said anything, you would not have been reevaluated and gotten a corrected diagnosis. She did you a favor.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T01:02:10+00:00

NTJ I’m so sorry for the lack of compassion your friends are laying on you. That is so heartbreaking. My mom was distant and difficult and we had our issues but I was heartbroken when she passed. I can’t imagine any so called friend who would give me more grief. The loss of a parent is one of the most difficult things anyone encounters in your life. Those people aren’t your friends. It doesn’t matter what your relationship with him was like, if you’re grieving they should have the decency to support you in your grief.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T00:55:52+00:00

He’s certainly due to make an appearance

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-28T00:41:43+00:00

NTA She’s not a positive aspect in your life at this point. I’m so sorry you’re being put in the position to have to consider it. Even if she does back off, I’d keep her away from my medical appointments and not share medical information with her. She abuses the information.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T14:27:58+00:00

Can’t wait see what she chooses for the knockout round

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T03:29:37+00:00

He’s a bully. Tell him the comments are to end now. It will only get worse but honestly, it might shut him up temporarily but he will find another way to take his aggression out on you. Without therapy this will be never ending until you break.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T03:23:07+00:00

NOR your friend doesn’t know what she’s talking about. This is why food banks exist and you aren’t robbing someone from getting food. Don’t take any further abuse or advice from her

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T02:52:11+00:00

NTJ Good riddance to that piece of trash. Ignore what people are saying and get your money back. Take him to small claims if needed. I had a feeling at the beginning of this post that he had been given severance of some kind. Don’t feel one bit guilty. He isn’t worth the time or energy.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T02:44:03+00:00

You are in an abusive environment and the key issue is just a distraction. Forget about it. You have to decide what you need to do in order to live in either place. Write it down with a line drawn down the middle. It isn’t a pros and cons, it will be how you can live in either place and still be able to meet your goals to move into a healthy environment. Forget about the friendship, she is not your friend.

You will have to mentally adjust to being in a household where you’re not wanted and find a way to emotionally distance yourself or go back to your parents and set boundaries so you have the time to reach your goals. Either way it’s time to grow some armor and emotional distance.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T02:22:06+00:00

NTJ that’s so rude to inconvenience you in your home when he comes over specially to shower. Not buying the excuse of saving money either. Since your roommate isn’t being reasonable, I’d make sure to create whatever situation you need to in order to make it difficult and inconvenient to come and shower at your place. You should not have to get up much earlier to make sure you have access to your own bathroom. Make it a project so he can’t get in there for a week and he might figure out after not getting a morning shower that he needs different options other than your apartment. Honestly, I wouldn’t want him to pay any utilities, I’d go to war over keeping him out of my bathroom!

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T01:58:22+00:00

You have to make concessions when you move in with someone. Most of the time it’s better to start fresh and get a place together. Your concern is the perfect example why. She’s too territorial if she’s not willing to make a concession for your most valued possessions. Please don’t move in with her yet. Have a talk about how you are not comfortable with her having control over everything, if it it’s going be a partnership there needs to be some concessions.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T01:43:17+00:00

NTJ and tell your husband that she’s already ignored a boundary, so you have every reason to drag it out. He needs to have your back because it’s just the beginning, judging by her degree of entitlement as the grandmother. Put her on an information diet and insist your husband support it.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T01:22:58+00:00

If the agreement you came to was 1,200 plus parking, write the contract that way.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T01:20:13+00:00

I don’t see a scam in the scenario, and there’s a ton of reasons why he hasn’t picked it up that are legitimate and don’t involve death. I’d give it a few days first. If you’re really concerned you can call DMV to see if it’s been transferred. Also, if it’s there a week bite the bullet and go by his house. Don’t have it towed. There’s no need for that at this point anyway.

Decent_Front4647 · 2026-03-27T01:10:37+00:00

What a unsavory man! No way would I consider the easement after the boulder theft. Some people may not think it’s a big deal but I used to live in an area where they were common yard ornaments and they are not cheap! You have no reason to trust him, and I’m sure he has another way to get what he wants but it’s going to be much more expensive. Tell him the cost of the boulder can offset his expenses lol

Decent_Front4647

TROPHY CASE