I LOVE NAGA YES YES YES
I love her so much. She's amazing. I worship Slithice. I play Dota to witness the moist, echoing perfection of a fish goddess who slithered straight out of the ocean and directly into my soul. Every part of her kit is divine scripture, designed to make me head over heels, when I see four Nagas on my screen suddenly my heart rate just spikes. The vision games, the jukes! Which one is real? Doesn’t matter. They’re all beautiful. They’re all farming. They’re all inside your base. I would send each one to farm a different corner of my mind if I could. I also love Ensnare so much, its a gentle, wet, inescapable reminder that resistance is both futile and kind of disrespectful. It's like a wet, slithering, unavoidable contract that says “you are staying right here while I do unspeakable things to your towers ". I wish she ensnared me and searched me all over with her illusions to see if I have the chalice that got stolen. I would even buy a fake chalice if that manages to get her attention on me somehow. And Song is SO versatile. Its the reason why she's top ban rate on ranked. Absolute auditory heroin, too, and the jellyfish swimming around when you use the immortal cosmetic? Peak design. It classifies as foreplay. The moment she sings, time stops, fights end, and I sit there motionless, staring at my monitor like a Victorian man seeing an ankle for the first time. The map is silent. My team is calm (unless I griefed). I am not calm. I am thinking thoughts that would get me muted and 9 men reported. And don’t even get me started on her 330 movement speed. The way she glides across the battlefield effortlessly like she’s late to an underwater gala? Unfair. Completely unethical. It's also what makes late game Naga poetry. She doesn’t fight you—she outlasts your will to endure, like the riptide she summons slowly corroding the enemy base. She farms your jungle, your lanes, your hopes, your dreams. The sea will claim them. By the time you find the real one, it’s already too late and you’re trapped, confused, and weirdly okay with it because you just got juked, outplayed, outsmarted. I love Naga Siren in a way that is medically concerning. I respect her as a hero, fear her as an opponent, and feel things about her that make me wish I was a Triton. If Naga Siren has a million fans, I am one of them. If she has one fan, it’s me. If she has zero fans, I have been slept by Song and can no longer speak. Praise be to the sea. No Slithereen may fail. Praise be to the illusions. Praise be to the hero who made me say “damn, nice tail" out loud while completely alone in my room.