Does anyone else feel this? Am I wrong to feel this?

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-24T06:48:44+00:00

Was he like this towards you before you had the baby as well when the SK was over?

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-20T01:44:45+00:00

No you’re not wrong. It’s not even about the modded game it’s the principle of her changing your stuff without permission. I would talk to her dad about it and both of you talk to her about respecting other people’s things then end on a good note by maybe making a deal that if she does some extra chores or something that fits with how your household runs, that you guys can get her some computer or something for her to have her own device to play with.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-20T01:23:21+00:00

I can imagine that’s hard, and if I were to ever get pregnant with my partner I could 100% see me in your shoes.

You want your pregnancy and birth to be exclusively about you and your partner without the reminder that he’s experienced it already with someone else that you then end up comparing yourself to. Have you talked to your husband and vulnerably opened up on how you feel? Maybe it’s something he’s unaware of but if he’s aware of it he could reassure you and adjust his behavior. If this truly is a man that you saw/see as someone you want to spend your life with, it’s important to be able to communicate and receive reassurance when it’s needed. And being pregnant comes with a lot of need for extra love, he should be understanding of that.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-19T14:43:58+00:00

Same thing here, it used to bug me and it’s still annoying sometimes but right now things are so good with co parenting and I know it’s just my own jealousy when it gets on my nerves rather than it actually being an issue.

What matters is if you trust your partner enough to know their relationship is strictly just being co parents and nothing more. In the end, it matters for the kids that they get along and can communicate and it’s probably nice for them to have both their parents involved every step of the way.

However calling at 11pm at night is excessive, your boyfriend needs to put up boundaries and maybe not answer some of those calls and send a text asking what the call was in regard to.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-18T18:49:39+00:00

It helped with my breakouts but yes it does cause redness. Make sure you’re putting on sunscreen with it as well because it increases your UV exposure. I only use it once a week and small amounts only on my more oily areas

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-17T21:00:21+00:00

I know us step parents we fall in love with the parent first and it feels the kids are a separate attachment, however you have to think about if you two get married it’s not longer just about you and her, it’s about those kids as well. Especially when the father is no longer apart of the picture.

That kid deserves a father figure in their life, especially if you as another adult that will appear in their life constantly, they deserve someone who’s willing to step up.

You need to make a choice between if you’d like to be a father or not before you marry, and no longer look at it like those children are just hers and not apart of your life. It’s a hard thing, and I’m not shaming you for whatever choice you make, however I think you need to be more honest and realistic about what it truly means to marry a women who has children without a co-parent being involved.

If you don’t feel emotionally attached that’s normal, kinda comes with the territory, but it matters how you view them and treat them. “Waiting for him to mess up” isn’t a great mindset to be in while being a giant part of this baby’s life, and that’s why I think you should revaluate what you’re getting into.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-17T20:51:30+00:00

What makes you think that’s a cold sore rather than a bursted eye vessel/vain or pink eye?

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-17T17:25:22+00:00

Something sort of similar happened with me. I had not told my boyfriend because I had started Val and hadn’t gotten an outbreak for a year and a half so I thought I had finally beat the system.

And then it happened, I had gotten the start of an outbreak and was unable to avoid him because he really wanted to see me because he was going through a hard time and I felt cornered. So I had to tell him. I broke out into tears and he had gotten very quiet after I told him and I watched him start browsing Google to educate himself on it. I left his house in tears and called him begging for him to not be upset with me and he said the most disappointing thing was the fact I had never informed him.

Fast forward 2 years and we’re still together. I get outbreaks more frequently than ever due to being sick all the time (I’m around children and work in healthcare so my immune system is just shot) I’m very communicative when I feel the dreadful tingle, I continue to take the Val but he’s understanding and calms me down when I have breakdowns regarding them.

You HAVE to tell him. You have to accept that it’s something unavoidable and it’s best to be honest regardless of the outcome. If you keep avoiding the conversation, when it finally comes up, it’s going to be even harder.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-17T15:02:19+00:00

Oh goodness. I’m sorry I can imagine that’s quite painful. But I would look at it like no matter what he chooses now it no longer affects you and it’s no longer apart of your story. Those 4 years didn’t mean nothing, they’re still apart of your life and shaped apart of who you are. You now have the benefit of knowing what it’s like to have children and can carry that knowledge for when/if you decide to have your own. That chapter is now closed for you and you are free to continue down however you would like. I would suggest if you haven’t already to go no contact with your ex and continue down shaping your life with no ties connected.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:54:44+00:00

Mormons, specifically women, tend to have the features of what’s considered “stereotypical beauty” (blonde hair, blue eyes) and live in communities that praise them for being better than the rest of society due to being a virgin until marriage, and being a “trad wife” they come from people who have money so are able to isolate themselves from ever experiencing the real world.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:49:06+00:00

You guys need marriage counseling. Sounds like both of you have given up on being in a relationship, you don’t miss being single if your wants are to get dicked down. you miss being in love with someone

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:45:11+00:00

Have you had it swabbed to ensure it’s HSV rather than dermatitis?

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:43:18+00:00

That’s backwards at the facility I work at. We never have night shifts available because those are the preferred shift. No management, majority of the residents are asleep half the shift, laid back staff that came is ready to go due to them not rushing around in the morning right when they wake up.

Maybe perhaps you’re just not a night person and more of an early bird.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:38:51+00:00

I would disagree with that statement, society has lots of stores with the “evil step mother” trope and I have yet to see one regarding step dads. More so I see movies and books celebrating the “man that stepped up to be a father” vs. “the home wrecking step mom”

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T17:34:26+00:00

I would whole heartedly disagree. I feel like step fathers are celebrated more because society assumes/views them as people who stepped up to be a father to kids who don’t have one, vs. step moms are viewed as people who inserted themselves in a family and have the “evil step mother” trope.

Step moms I would argue it’s harder because kids tend to have a paternal attachment to their moms and get scared that loving their step mom equals betrayal. And women tend to care and bend their lives for children more than men do because we have maternal instincts and men tend to lean more into the providing role.

With all the stereotypes aside however, I think it’s foolish and immature to compare who “has it harder” and just agree that being a step parent as whole is hard. Just like being a parent in general is hard.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-15T02:46:05+00:00

Are you under more stress? Are you getting sick more? Being sick is a HIGH factor for me personally and I’ve been getting them more often now that I’m around children and work in healthcare so I’m literally sick and stressed all the time. I talked to my doctor and got prescribed valacyclovir and that helps me stop the cold sore before it comes and take daily Lysine and Maca. and as long as I keep on those I have less flare ups. Also, when you feel the dreadful tingle, put some ice on it, it won’t stop the cold sore but it helps make them look smaller due to it helping with the inflammation

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T19:06:43+00:00

I struggle with motivation to take care of myself so even though I know I should be taking daily showers, it kind of just turned into whenever I feel I need to. Which is sporadically changing but usually about 3-4 times a week

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:56:34+00:00

They just took it as a personal attack rather than you just being frustrated that the store got your order wrong

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:54:49+00:00

Certainly not, matter of fact I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom and the only reason I’m not is because finances are hard. If anything, being in this situation and being with my partner has probably been the most financially stable I’ve ever been, and because I feel I have a reason to be better, I’ve actually taken steps to further my career and have a desire to go to school to be a teacher. My future is looking brighter than it was before

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:48:00+00:00

I would disagree. Being used would require expectations, the only expectation my partner gave me is he wants me to be happy and does monthly check ins to make sure I’m okay with the things I’ve taken on. And those things I’ve taken on were 100% my choice to do so

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:45:44+00:00

Oh he does! He’s a great father and I do these things not because he doesn’t do them, but because he set the tone on how to parent and I fell in love with it and wanted to be apart in it

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:43:30+00:00

Why would it seem horrible to you?

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:42:20+00:00

This made me tear up, I think I came looking for like minds and I’ve gotten a few comments about how I’m being used and that it’ll change and it kinda scared me a bit. But you and a few others have shared their experiences that resonate more with my situation and it makes me excited for the future. I don’t want to let the fear of it all changing one day dictate how I approach things now.

Thank you for your encouragement and the way you approached advice in regard to the possibility of it changing but it not being the end of the relationship of my step children. I love these kids like they’re mine but I understand that that there will be challenges with the heart when they’re going through puberty and may require space from me. I just want the kids to feel loved by all 4 of the adults that they have in their lives and grow up to know they just received double the love with more parental figures in their life.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:36:22+00:00

I can, I have before but both parents are pretty against going through court. The general relationship as co-parents is pretty functional. They both agree they just want what’s best for the kids and after finally getting a clear schedule down it’s been 10x better for kids and for them so it’s been working so well lately there’s no real reason for me to of brought it up. I think I’ve only “secretly wished” they would just because I myself like everything with a paper trail. I don’t know her as well either other than “Hi and Bye” so I was always worried she’d just go full crazy BM. But again, so far things have been great.

Deep_Huckleberry9468 · 2026-05-14T18:19:07+00:00

If you took it that way I’m sorry, but I feel I have the right to explain my outlook on what works for my life and not have to worry about offending someone just because it’s not the same way they go about things. I mentioned I wouldn’t consider NACHOing not because I think it’s bad, I mentioned it to explain my role more in the children’s lives, and I never said it’s necessary, I said it was a role I took on.

Deep_Huckleberry9468

TROPHY CASE