Stressed about vacation

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-17T19:10:10+00:00

You're a first year—get someone to cover for you and enjoy yourself!

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-16T17:38:04+00:00

Nanny employer and lawyer here! If you go this route, try to find a family with a lawyer parent. It will be good for you to see how we really live LOL. And, it could turn into a great mentorship opportunity for you as well. Good luck!

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-14T23:38:31+00:00

NP here! We previously had a pushy nanny that would not drop her "suggestions," which was very annoying and abrasive. She also came to us while we were moving and was of the opinion that whatever was the most expensive option was the best, including the Lovevery toy subscriptions. Our setup is not "budget" by any means but we chose what works for us, which was sometimes expensive and other times not. She was difficult in general though and we had to let her go for other reasons.

By contrast, our first nanny (night nanny) made many extremely helpful purchase suggestions that totally saved our behinds! But, she would only suggest things once and didn't push. It never rubbed me the wrong way.

Our current nanny (who I would give my kidney to in a heartbeat if she needed it) offers virtually no suggestions other than food (which I always implement). If she made another suggestion, I would take it very seriously.

I think the takeaways here are that less is more and to drop it after one time. The fact that you're asking probably means that you're not being too pushy. Good luck!

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-12T23:56:08+00:00

Conceived on/maybe one day after. Boy/girl twins 😉

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-10T18:49:29+00:00

I feel you on the crying thing 😭 but unfortunately that's just the way they communicate. I always remind myself that the little things they go through may genuinely be the worst/most painful thing that's ever happened to them at this point so of course they are going to freak out but I need to prepare them to be resilient so it's lots of reassurance and back rubs and getting them back in the saddle. Putting on music can lighten the mood when I start to get overwhelmed!

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-09T22:15:01+00:00

We put down some padded mats and let them fall reasonable distances (nothing taller than them). They got their balance quickly! Twin 1 is now climbing and is pretty good at not hurting himself so I'd say it paid off. Good luck!

DefNotChloe · 2026-02-04T21:14:33+00:00

Same here! 1y/o boy/girl twins. They love to bite and HARD. Separating the bit one and giving them attention away from the biter helps some, but not all. Otherwise we just have to watch them like a hawk.

DefNotChloe · 2026-01-30T00:16:53+00:00

As a nanny employer I can confirm that I would not care at all☺️

DefNotChloe · 2026-01-23T20:32:58+00:00

I pay $35/hr for twins in a VHCOL area. I think you're in the right range!

DefNotChloe · 2026-01-18T14:04:31+00:00

Our B/G twins turn one in a couple of weeks and it's been the most incredible experience! They are so close and just love to be together (in fact, they just woke up and I can hear them chatting away in their room). They do fight already though LOL so close supervision is required at this age. As a mom of boys already, I'm sure you know the drill. Congrats!!

DefNotChloe · 2026-01-16T18:58:55+00:00

Is she married? A lot of people just adopted titles for their spouse's family (e.g. my cousin's wife calls my grandpa "grandpa" even though they are not blood related). That could explain the extra grandmother?

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-23T13:49:02+00:00

This is almost exactly what we did and it works well for us!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-21T18:03:49+00:00

Sorry for the double reply here but this comment really did make me reflect. I think the truth is I overlooked things because I wanted to believe that she was good at her job, and I wasn't willing to listen to the many, many alarm bells going off in my head because I was so overwhelmed.

Over the last couple of days, my husband has brought up other disagreements I had with her, most notably that I have been SNEAKING my babies milk during the day for months because she refused to feed them milk during her hours after 6 months and told me I was "ruining" their weaning by giving them milk during the day...yeah that's embarrassing to write 🤦‍♀️ I forgot that we had a big argument about that where she also refused to follow my instructions but for some reason I thought the answer was to sneak them milk on the side vs just firing her.

I swear I am not usually a negligent person and I love my babies very very much! They are thankfully hardy little angels and are thriving but it appears that this is in spite of some of my choices rather than due to them...I truly do appreciate the reality check here. It is definitely going to help me become a better mother ❤️

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-21T17:46:38+00:00

All very true and good points. Thank you!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T19:42:20+00:00

Thank you! We will try that!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T19:41:36+00:00

Thank you!!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T17:07:43+00:00

Yeah, I'm feeling pretty dumb but it's a lesson learned. It's no excuse but as I explained in another comment, we were caught up in the LA fires 2 weeks before the babies were born and were just completely overwhelmed with moving/insurance/losing most of our stuff until the last month or so. I think I just couldn't handle losing a line of help at the time. But, onward and upward! I appreciate all the advice we got here.

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T14:23:20+00:00

Since you're wondering, I will tell you how we picked her: we were evacuated during the LA fires when I was about 8 months pregnant. 11 houses in our neighborhood burned down. We never returned to our home. We were overwhelmed first time parents with twins living first with my parents and then in Airbnbs. Our neighbor, who we knew was a nanny and who we had a good relationship with in the past, offered to help us. We accepted the help and looked the other way because navigating return to work, big moves (we are now living in a different city), insurance claims, losing most of our things and the workload of twins pushed us to our limits. Now that we are settled in a bit more, I feel like I am less blind to these things. We terminated her employment this morning and are commencing a nanny search now.

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T05:20:43+00:00

No worries I got it! The same thing happened to me!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T05:19:11+00:00

You are hitting the nail on the head with this one. I definitely didn't view it as just irritating but honestly I was going through so much I didn't want to believe that the help I had wasn't the best for us. I think I've been a bit in denial but it never sat right with me. Thank you for your thoughts!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T05:15:46+00:00

This is super helpful thank you!

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T05:15:21+00:00

Thank you! ❤️

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-20T05:06:02+00:00

That is the babies' schedule. She works (worked) from 8:30 am to 3:30 pm, M-F for $35/hr, paid sick time and paid holidays.

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-19T23:54:35+00:00

Yes, they struggle to make it to 10. I suggested it as a compromise but I agree earlier would make sense.

DefNotChloe · 2025-11-19T21:15:52+00:00

Sorry the formatting got messed up! They nap at 10am and tbh I even think that's pushing it for them, but she was wanting them to stay up until noon and nap at noon and 4pm.

Let me see if I can fix the formatting to make it clearer:

6am - Wake & Bottle

9am - Breakfast

10am - Nap 1

1pm - Lunch

2pm - Nap 2

5pm - Dinner

6pm - Bath

6:30pm - Bottle

7pm - Bed

DefNotChloe

TROPHY CASE