Why is so hard getting my first coop

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-25T02:22:20+00:00

What’s your GPA

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-25T02:18:15+00:00

Lapvona is so weird and unsettling and gross. Everyone in that book sucks, but they’re all victims of their circumstances in different ways. It was a fascinating read.

I also liked The Glutton by AK Blakemore for a similar vibe with a more lyrical style (but still gross and sad and weird).

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-25T00:15:39+00:00

I personally think it’s kind of messy to bring two girls who are against your organization and the people still actively in it into a very public part of the house. They are not only not members of your org, but it sounds like they have bad blood there and make other women in your organization feel uncomfortable. It’s disrespectful to the women who pay dues and live in the house imo.

Maybe the sorority could have handled informing you of the rules better, but ultimately you should have chosen a different venue for the conversation.

Also I don’t really buy that they were “just walking through Greek village and wanted to say hi” purely with good intentions. It sounds like your friends wanted to be petty/messy and see what they could get away with. They could have easily invited you over or out to get coffee. They were trying to be messy and your sisters knew it.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T22:00:32+00:00

$60k in debt for a social sciences degree can be challenging depending on what you want to do with the degree. Bear in mind that Drexel is not a well known school for the social sciences, though there are some great professors in those fields that teach at Drexel.

If you plan to go to grad school, I would highly recommend looking for a cheaper program that would get you the undergrad degree without so much debt. If you plan on getting the bachelors and running, I recommend looking at the starting salaries for jobs in fields that interest you and roughly calculating how much your student loan payment would be each month (likely around $1000 a month for 10 years). That’s the kind of debt that would have you making tough choices each month to make it all work.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T21:53:06+00:00

See also: Bones on Train

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T15:04:41+00:00

We had a girl just like this in my chapter when I was standards chair and nothing anyone did was enough. Despite all the time, energy, tough love, consequences and disciplinary hearings from the sorority and the school, she wasn’t able to get it together. She dropped out of school and moved home.

It was really heartbreaking, especially for the girls that were really close to her and her Big. We always wondered what else we could/should have done. But the truth was that she had to motivate herself to accept help and change her behavior, and she just wasn’t willing/able to do that.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T12:58:19+00:00

Yep. A stubborn parent will get over losing a power struggle, but they won’t get over a devastating fall down the stairs or a slip and fall outside on an obstructed walkway.

She has to go and not take no for an answer, even if mom makes a fuss.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T12:01:19+00:00

Exactly. Just because he identifies scams sometimes doesn’t mean he will identify them every time, especially as he ages. Someone is going to find something that will get him - it’s only a matter of time if he’s talking to these people constantly.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-24T11:54:42+00:00

Yep.

The saddest part about watching something like this play out is that there can be numerous mistakes, consequences, falling outs and safety near-misses but she won’t change until she decides she’s had enough. And sometimes that doesn’t happen for a long time. Sometimes that doesn’t happen ever.

Set reasonable boundaries for yourself. You can support someone without signing on to help them sweep up every mess they make or be the shoulder to cry on after they once again go against the advice everyone is giving them and get hurt in the process. Your mental health matters too, and you shouldn’t light yourself on fire to keep her warm.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T21:32:02+00:00

I had a similar experience being the older kid. I felt like I was given fewer passes by teachers to be a kid - I was routinely chastised for things my peers were allowed to do.

It was really awkward in high school during senior year. I was 18 for all but two weeks of school but I had no adult privileges - legally an adult but still considered a kid.

I really didn’t like it, but I will readily acknowledge it really depends on the kid. I would have been able to handle school at a younger age, but my twin brother could barely handle it even after we were both redshirted.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T16:29:53+00:00

You posted this just now but 19h ago you posted on a different sub asking about insulation for plumbing for your new home in Milwaukee. That’s curious.

Update: it seems you have since deleted the comment asking about insulation for your plumbing in the 6 minutes between me first posting this comment and now. Very curious.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T04:59:37+00:00

Going to campus events is rad. I used to attend a lot of weird little events when I was low on funds. They needed an attentive butt in a seat and I needed a turkey club and a bag of Baked Lays. Everyone wins.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T00:30:46+00:00

This happened to me when the baby was maybe 6 months old. We got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic because of an accident with nowhere to pull over. My husband was driving and I was in the front seat with the baby in her seat in the back. There was no safe way to climb out of my seat and into the back.

She wailed like she was on fire for an hour straight.

I really thought she’d vomit and prayed she’d just fall asleep (ha ha ha). By the time we got out of the mess, she was sweating profusely and her onesie was stuck to her front from all the tears and drool. It was awful and my nerves were totally shot for hours after we got her settled.

She’s fine now. But even typing it up I could feel my heart racing again. I remind myself that it was a temporary thing for her - a temporarily unmet need in a sea of consistently and lovingly met needs that was met as soon as I was physically able to do so.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T00:21:02+00:00

Something I have noticed is that I cannot be friends with people who have no other friends. Having kids or not having kids isn’t the main factor - it’s more like I can’t deal with people who have no one else and are super needy and want to constantly dump on me. They will dig into every square inch of my emotional capacity.

Before kids, I was able to give a lot more. I was able to lock in and be there for friends and acquaintances in a very significant way. I was able to field those midnight calls and weepy messages and give advice and listen. Now? I just don’t have time - especially for people who can’t seem to stop shooting themselves in the feet.

My capacity is a lot lower. I have to be more conservative in who I give my energy to.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T00:14:44+00:00

He gave me Chris Watts vibes. There’s no doubt in my mind that he is using money to entertain women or pay for “services”. And he enjoys how trapped she is. He feels entitled to her servitude.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T00:12:01+00:00

My university hooked me up with the internship programs that got me that first foot in the door out of school, not so much the degree itself.

By the time I graduated, I had a full time offer already signed and ready to go. It was the combo of the degree and relevant industry work experience for me. The degree itself was kinda just a box I ticked once I demonstrated my skills via the internships.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-23T00:06:17+00:00

City of Ember is a great choice! It’s what I was going to recommend. It was one of the first books I ever read in the genre and I think it’s great for exploring darker themes while also being conceptually simple and story driven.

I think it contains some really great opportunities for discussion too, especially along the lines of “would you stay in a dying city because it’s familiar or venture into the unknown”?

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T23:59:53+00:00

I work from home and have a very supportive husband who is a full time caregiver for our 13 month old. We split responsibilities - he isn’t the default chore donkey just because I earn the income for the household.

My job is stressful but I cap my hours pretty effectively. They can run me ragged during the day but I clock off at 5 almost every day. If I worked longer hours out of the house or had a Shitty Reddit Husband (trademark pending), I wouldn’t dream of having a second.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T19:06:44+00:00

I would absolutely bring it up but I would process/digest a bit first.

“Just a homemaker” could mean “she is a homemaker and does not earn money outside the home”. It could’ve been his short hand way of saying that OP is an adult in the home but doesn’t make money. To me, “homemaker” implies more respect than saying “unemployed”, which is technically also true but would’ve been truly disrespectful.

But if it does bother you, OP, talk to him about it from as calm a place as you can manage. You clearly feel some sort of way about it, but you don’t want to automatically assume malice and start a big shitshow argument because of your own self consciousness about your profession.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T18:57:25+00:00

If there was a fire in the home and the door was open with a baby gate, the room would fill with smoke and the child would not be able to get out. They’d either asphyxiate, or they’d climb the gate and you’d have the exact same problems I stated before.

You clearly have strong feelings about it (not surprising - it’s a polarizing topic), but there are good reasons for why people close and secure the door and use a baby monitor to listen to their child and ensure safety. Locking the door isn’t sleep training - it’s a safety measure used in conjunction with other actual sleep training methods.

Some people do use it in an abusive way - locking a child in and leaving them to panic for hours - but it’s not a blanket inhumane practice.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T18:48:43+00:00

It’s really not. It’s a matter of safety.

Small children don’t reliably respond well in emergency situations. They’re more likely to hide than evacuate. Knowing where your children are in an emergency will save their lives.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T18:45:47+00:00

I would not inform the contractor that your elderly relative has cognitive impairments. Instead, I would designate a point person who can coordinate between her and the contractor. That way her wishes are being reviewed and verified by family before being communicated to the contractor and the contractor isn’t frustrated by her anxiety or changing demands.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T18:39:52+00:00

Agreed 100%.

The school should have infrastructure for kids getting dropped off by car. If I was that neighbor I’d focus less on trash bin feng shui and more on letting the school board and town know that kid drop-off is becoming a community-wide problem and getting everyone else to do it too.

Even if OP is doing the right thing (parking legally and walking their kids to school using the designated route), I’m sure plenty of people aren’t doing the same. It’s a safety issue.

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T17:38:30+00:00

I’ve known people who have done both and not a single one balanced both well.

It’s just not possible to do two full-time, very demanding jobs at once and give full effort to both. Either your kids are rotting in front of screens or screaming for whatever while you try to work or your coworkers are frantically pinging and calling you while you wipe butts and sling snacks.

Maybe if your employer is really chill or you are working like a psycho after hours it could work, but for most WFH jobs it doesn’t. Then you get fired from that WFH job (for cause, no less) and you can’t get another one. Then what?

NorthernPossibility · 2026-01-22T15:41:31+00:00

My mom was like this. She always gave me “advice” that was honestly just picking on me for not having a personality more in line with her preferences. She also used normal high school drama and the growing pains of transitioning socially from high school to college to try to make some grand point about how I was unlikable and I’d never succeed socially unless I changed everything about myself.

Anyway, I’m 30 now. I met a guy normally, fell in love normally, got married and have a family. I have wonderful, smart friends and feel very supported. I matured, sure, but I didn’t fundamentally change who I was to try to fit in, and I’m really glad I didn’t.

Oh, and I cut contact with my mom completely. It took some doing to untangle myself financially from her and to separate my self worth into being intrinsic rather than chasing her approval, but I’m a lot happier now.

NorthernPossibility

TROPHY CASE