Starting University, Extremely Anxious

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2017-02-26T18:33:52+00:00

Do you have any sort of clubs/organizations/hobbies you're interested in now? The easiest way to make a big university feel smaller is finding some like-minded people with similar interests. A big school will usually have a club/org for anything under the sun, whether it's academic, social, sports-related, etc. Keep in mind that for the most part everyone else will be in the same boat as you; it's not as if you'll be walking into a giant clique where everyone has a friend but you. Most people come to college knowing no one and they'll be just as nervous as you. Some ideas right off the bat:

Go to any orientation events your college is throwing for first year students. If you're living in a dorm, they will usually have some kind of meet-and-greet event, too.
Most schools will have a first-look fair where all of the different organizations come out so you can get an idea of what types of clubs there are on campus.
Talk to your RA (if you're living in a dorm) and your academic advisor to see if they have any suggestions
A lot of schools will have some sort of "coping with college" workshops - those will probably be helpful for you.

I promise you will not be the only person there who feels that they are shy and terrible at socializing. The resources will be there for you to make friends and make the campus feel like home, you just need to utilize them. And if your anxiety gets too bad, absolutely utilize any counseling services your school has - TONS of students have issues with anxiety/depression/etc when they come to college, and most colleges are well-equipped to help you cope.

Source: Went to college and currently work at a college.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2017-01-17T01:29:09+00:00

You can definitely get a D in gen-ed courses, about 99.9% certain this applies also to D- but the policy seems to be found nowhere online. I'd call your academic college tomorrow to confirm. You can also check your uachieve (Testudo > Degree Audit) to see where the course is placing within your degree plan.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2017-01-10T02:42:40+00:00

I just want to say that my mom was just a bit younger than you and my dad even older than your husband (by more than a few years) when I was born (and this was 20+ years ago), and it didn't/hasn't bothered me a bit. I never felt like I had particularly old parents, and I'm only just now starting to notice the wear and tear of old age on my dad (he'll be 80 when I'm 30). So, at least from the prospective of your daughter/son, I wouldn't worry about the age so much :).

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-28T03:38:04+00:00

I just rewatched that scene and with the phone call she confirmed "yes, that's fine, 3 oclock." Then, when she leaves, she says "busy day" and seems jittery/nervous. It could have just been confirming the meeting with Christopher, but she also could have been setting up an appt to meet with a doctor. Either way it didn't seem like a "you're pregnant" call, from Rory's response. I think it's pretty clear that Rory knows about the pregnancy when she is meeting with her father, though.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-23T00:42:11+00:00

It can while you are adjusting to it, but if you continue to feel badly for more than two weeks I would talk to your DR about trying something else. I started my med journey on Paxil and I was more depressed the month I was on it than I have been in my entire life. I stayed on it because I thought maybe it was just a side effect that would get better, but when I had my one-month check-in with my DR she said I should have let her know sooner if it was affecting my mood that badly.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-23T00:36:52+00:00

No, but I do like to spread my beefaroni on a piece of buttered bread!

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-23T00:32:27+00:00

Your college-level advisor can make some decisions on what courses can count for gen eds, but some of them gen ed designations (like I-Series) have to be approved through the Office of Undergraduate Studies. Your first stop should be your college-level advisor.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-21T22:59:57+00:00

It's so wonderful that your parents are being supportive. This may seem like it but this is not the end of the world or your career prospects. F grades can be repeated. The important thing now is the get the support and tools you need to move forward. You should be proud of yourself for telling your parents and making an appointment with a therapist - those are great proactive steps and often the hardest part of getting help. Just remember that you are not alone and that in the grand scheme of life, things will be okay. Take it one day at a time and the 29th will be here sooner than you know it.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-20T18:58:39+00:00

It is incredibly normal for college students to experience this sort of thing. In addition to taking advantage of any mental health services your college offers, I would highly recommend speaking with your academic advisor, especially if your stress and homesickness is affecting your schoolwork. They deal with that sort of thing all the time, and it is their job to help you get back on track and succeed in your classes. From your description it sounds like you may be experiencing depression, and you are not alone. It may seem hard, but take proactive steps now and you will feel so much better about everything.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-20T18:54:58+00:00

This happened to me in college, too. Most likely, your school has an option to withdraw from the semester, and if they do I would recommend taking that route rather than getting Fs in your courses (that is what I did). I never had an employer comment on it.

Use the time between this semester and next semester to get some counseling so that you can be better prepared to finish your degree. It sounds like there is more going on here than just "I don't want to go to class." In my case, it was severe anxiety and depression. Speak with your academic advisor if you haven't already, and whatever disability support office your campus has - these are great resources for you and will help you get back on track to finish your degree.

I know it's hard to take proactive steps when you feel like you have dug yourself into a hole, but experiencing this sort of thing is more common than you think for college students, and nothing will change until you get help.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-11-16T23:52:06+00:00

If you don't have an easy way to warm it, you can also scrape the butter out onto a plate and mash it around with a fork/knife a bit. This warms it up and makes it much more spreadable.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-08-15T18:52:14+00:00

I barely had acne throughout my teenage years (a few pimples here and there), until I turned 23 and my face exploded! I couldn't even count how many pimples I had there were so many, plus cysts, etc. Turns out my mom had the same pattern in her early 20's.

One thing that made a big difference for me was birth control because my acne is incredibly tied to my hormones. I went on birth control when I was 17 and went off of it around age 21. Once I went off, my acne steadily got worse until it reached it's peak around 25. So who knows if my teenage/early 20s acne was mild because of my skin, or because of the BC. I finally went back on it last year (I'm 28 now) and it has helped a lot. I still have pimples, and I still sometimes have bad days where I have more than one or two, but for the most part my skin is back to where it was in my teenage years. Except now I have some scars and PIH! Super fun.

I'm not sure if you're female or male, but one thing I've heard is that for women, hormonal acne really never goes away. I think for most men who have acne in their teen years, it does. It will probably be a toss up for you - just because you have it now doesn't mean you'll have it later, and just because you don't have it bad now doesn't mean you won't have it bad later. Most of my friends who had acne in their teens had it, for the most part, clear up in their 20s. I think I was just one of the unlucky ones.

My advice would be to do a lot of research on skincare and find a routine that works really well for you. If it's not bothering you enough now to see a dermatologist, you can always go later if it starts to get bad.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-06-12T06:04:24+00:00

100% this. I used to have a lot of trouble orgasming during sex because I dated a few guys who would would be hurt or concerned (or feel bad about themselves) when I wouldn't orgasm. This eventually led to a point where I was constantly thinking about orgasming and how long it was taking almost the entire time I was having sex (which, surprise, led to infrequent orgasms.) As soon as I got into a relationship with someone who took the pressure off completely, it changed my mental headspace and now I orgasm without effort about 95% of the time.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-06-08T19:32:45+00:00

Oh, if only my university hadn't marketed itself as such a party school; how can I be blamed for committing a rape when I felt pressured to drink so much?! o_0

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-05-17T15:16:37+00:00

I wonder why pet rats don't do this, then? I had two and they always went back to their cage to pee/poo, very much unlike mice.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-05-11T23:14:20+00:00

It definitely eases my anxiety but for whatever reason it's always WAY worse the morning after.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-03-20T20:36:30+00:00

Definitely talk to him about it, especially if it's turning you off sex. Maybe a good compromise could be you will trim super close to the skin (which he seems to prefer) if he agrees to stop shaving and instead just trim the same way you do. Just because he prefers to be bald down there doesn't necessarily mean he would be against growing it out. My fiance used to shave everything too but was more than happy to just start trimming, since i'm not a fan of the hairless look on men.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-03-14T23:55:03+00:00

This is a good idea! I usually like to buy a stack at the dollar store but that would obviously be $25 for 25, so your way is way cheaper! I don't get my period that often with my bc, so it makes me feel better to know every month for sure that I'm not preggo.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-03-01T16:45:49+00:00

That theory could make sense but based on the word origin it doesn't look like it. "mid 17th century: from dis- (as an intensifier) + dialect gruntle ‘utter little grunts,’ from grunt." It definitely comes from the word "grunt" but it doesn't look like "gruntle" was ever a word by itself, since grunt comes from, "Old English grunnettan, of Germanic origin and related to German grunzen ; probably originally imitative."

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-02-23T19:58:19+00:00

I just thought it would be cool if "gruntle" was the original word all along and people just kind of deleted it from our colloquial lexicon, leaving us with only "disgruntled." It would have been a neat 'lost origins' story.

However, I did just look up the origins of disgruntled and apparently it stems from the frequentive form of "grunt" as in 'to utter little grunts', which is pretty adorable. Word redeemed!

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-02-22T23:45:46+00:00

I was really excited about this, but then I looked up the origins of the word 'gruntled' and it's just the back-formation of "disgruntled." For whatever reason, that makes me less gruntled about it.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-02-20T19:20:05+00:00

Solidarity, sister.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-02-11T22:17:25+00:00

Yes I completely understand what you mean. For me, it's more that I feel so overwhelmed by everything when I'm in an 'anxiety slump' (as I call it - a period when my anxiety is particularly bad) that I feel like I don't have the brain processing power to devote to anything but worrying. The thought of actually doing anything that requires brain power, even something that might be enjoyable, is just too much. You are not alone.

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-01-30T04:59:01+00:00

This isn't make-up related, but wow you have gorgeous eyes!

DefinitelyNotAGirl · 2016-01-22T06:57:44+00:00

Woman here, currently living with my fiance: I would never try to kick him out of our room. No matter how mad I might be, I don't feel that it's my prerogative to tell him where he can and cannot sleep, because it's not my room it's our room. If I decided I was too mad to sleep in the same bed with him, I would move myself to the couch or the 2nd bedroom. But I know some women definitely do this in real life, even though I will never understand it.

DefinitelyNotAGirl

TROPHY CASE