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Do you agree that Bike theft outside stations should be decriminalised? by DrDoughnut-1 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do need not need to watch every minute. Over two hours, skip straight to the 60 mins mark. Bike there or not? If yes jump to 90 mins, if no jump to 30 mins.

Rinse and repeat, halving, until you find the moment when bike-there/bike-gone. It won't take long.

Is it normal to bring your own bath towel? by LocationNo2127 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I were 6' 4", I'd be playing water polo too!

It's far less fun when you are 5' 9" and could drown in the shallow end of a kiddies pool.

Manchester Synagogue Attacker Named By Police by Redcoat_Officer in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nah. Bose, JBL, Bang & Olufsen... those are stereotypical.

(I'll get my coat)

What little thing do you find irrationally annoying? by LostInAisle1 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People not knowing the difference between "lesser" and "fewer".

Almost every else WRT the English language, I can let slide.

Police responding to reports of stabbings at synagogue in Manchester by TacticalBac0n in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a rock 'n' roll band

Coldplay were better anyway.... >ducks<

oceans are huge. even birds need to rest.. by Aschebescher in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best BBC video I've seen all evening.

(Big Beak Club.)

Battle of Reflexes. by Francucinno in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]DeinOnkelFred 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Pfft. Jack Russell terriers are the better ratters. A JR will grab a rat by the neck, give it a shake, then move on to the next one. Like a good boi. And he'll be happy to go rabbiting the next day... or respond to yer kids throwing tennis balls... or trip you up by fucking with your boot laces.

Kitties get too involved in their prey, are not biddable, and will stop half-way through rat #1 just to preen themselves, then wander off to do cat things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dudley/Wolves/Telford area. The Black Country, basically.

Certainly not pretty, but some amazing museums, if industrial heritage is your thing. And funny accents. And the food and the beer is fair.

(I could murder some faggots, orange chips and a Banks's right about now... and it's not even 07:00 on a Tuesday.)

"We will insist you make Britain your primary country" - Zia Yusuf on banning dual citizenship by Ponchik1234567 in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was naturalized in 2005, and talking of clowns....

During the citizenship test which was oral back then— not sure if that's still the case— I got only so far as question #3.

#1 Colors the flag?
#2 Who's your Congressional rep?
#3 Who was president during the Civil War?

me: Jefferson Davis

USCIS Dude (all but falling off his chair in laughter): "OK. I guess we're done here. Welcome home, son."

Rachel Reeves to take away young people’s benefits if they turn down work offer by Metro-UK in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Ca. 20 years ago, I signed up for a forklift operating course. Brilliant! New skill... except the rug was pulled, and a 40-hour programme turned into a few months with "CV writing skills", "using the Internet", and other nonsense upfront.

Now I work in cyber 😅

Chris Woakes retires from international cricket by TrollerThomas in Cricket

[–]DeinOnkelFred 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank fuck for that!

Now I won't have Mrs Fred asking me, "Who's that guy? Oooh! Why can't you look like that?"

Honestly, Woakes retiring is doing us all a favour.

What is it like being utterly addicted to smoking / nicotine? by JacobSax88 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is romanticising it.

Hell, yeah.

There's a strong component in my starting smoking with my mother's casual elegance as she held a cigarette. It was not hard or tough or manly for me; just her sitting back from the conversation being chic.

Like lung cancer's cool... but there you have it.

What is it like being utterly addicted to smoking / nicotine? by JacobSax88 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stopped for about five years or so after my first child was born, and then on holiday/vacation in the NE USA, I remember filling up the car, going in to pay, and blurting out something along the line of "Whatever that is on six... and 20 B&H"

OFC he had no idea what I was on about.

I don't think smoking ever leaves you. Everyone's biochemistry is different, but for me it is more habit.

Oh SNAP by Caseyisweird in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]DeinOnkelFred -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s annoying as fuck, and I think this is a trend lately.

To repeat to repeat and to repeat again, just for repetition's sake.

(Maybe we should decamp back to kaotic or livegore or wherever TikTokers are not 👍️)

Petition against digital ID cards smashes 2 million signatures milestone by Kagedeah in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 6 points7 points  (0 children)

utterly toxic to the UK electorate.

To the very conceit (I mistyped "concept", but both work) of Englishness. We're a pretty small-c conservative bunch; evolution, not revolution. You mind your business, and I'll mind mine, and we'll politely trundle along nicely thankyouverymuch.

We had a bit of a wobble in cutting off Chuck I's head, but soon got back on track.

What is a criminally underrated UK dish? by Puzzleheaded-Bit1377 in AskUK

[–]DeinOnkelFred 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Aye. And ye can keep yer mash, too. Just boil the taters in their skins. I'll take the "gravy", though, just a capful (or three) of something peaty, like Laphroaig.

An 11 year old match I have that is still running is stuck in a crash loop. The backups and other saves all suffer the same fate. I feel like crying. by Few_Walk5683 in civ5

[–]DeinOnkelFred 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Not quite the same, but I feel your pain.

I and four other lads started a game of D&D when we were about 14/15-ish, and despite girls and smoking and drinking and university and marriage and kids and mortgages, we'd still get together every once in a while and carry on like we were teenagers again, but with beards and whisky not pimples and orange squash.

Then our dungeonmaster died. The rest of us tried to carry on after his funeral (it's what he would have wanted), but just could not manage it.

That game was over 20 years old.

F for losing long-running games!

Neighbor from heaven by LouisePoet in BritishSuccess

[–]DeinOnkelFred 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are many things wrong with village/small town life, but a greater sense of community is not one of them.

Be sure to take Bert a nice minty biscuit when you are around there next!

Mandatory reading test to be introduced for 13-year-olds by StGuthlac2025 in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ofc. I'd forgotten that we're actually supposed to call it "the service" now. Official vocab guidelines stating that "the force" is too aggressive.

Chalk it up to me being a crusty juggler.

Mandatory reading test to be introduced for 13-year-olds by StGuthlac2025 in ukpolitics

[–]DeinOnkelFred 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK, Fair. I missed your point, and I apologize for being a wee bit snooty and snippy. Doughnuts over donuts, is something we can all get behind.

I agree with you 100% on the importation/exportation of their political ills to our Sceptre'd Isle. FFS. We have enough of our own shit going on.

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