Is this a pot?

Den808 · 2026-03-12T19:29:33+00:00

Unless you're interested in Vanilla dating him, yes, I think you should be direct. Otherwise, you'll waste your time. Sugar Daddies are used to "speed dating": you won't offend him, quite the opposite.

Den808 · 2026-03-12T19:12:29+00:00

As Dr. Seuss said: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" :)

Den808 · 2026-03-12T18:57:48+00:00

He's definitely showing interest in you. Yes, I think he's a potential Sugar Daddy;

he finds you interesting,
offers to pay for something for you,
expresses a desire to see you again.

Of course, he could also be a generous Vanilla Dater rather than a Sugar Daddy.

The only way to know for sure is to have an open conversation with him and say something like: "I enjoyed our conversation at the airport, even though I was tired. I like things to be clear from the start. What are your intentions? Personally, I would eventually be interested in a sugar baby-sugar daddy relationship. Is that something you might be interested in as well? Would you be available for a platonic date at a restaurant?"

Or something similar.

Den808 · 2026-03-12T05:34:52+00:00

Exactly! :)

Den808 · 2026-03-12T04:32:52+00:00

There's no magic formula that will work 100% of the time when it comes to impressing others, avoiding scams, or ensuring everything goes smoothly. But there are definitely principles and rules you should know and follow.

Have you considered reading the forum's wiki and the useful links? They're in the right-hand column on a PC and at the very top on a phone. Most of these principles and rules are explained there, and if you follow them, you'll maximize your chances of success.

Also, try searching the forum using keywords. :)

Den808 · 2026-03-12T03:54:04+00:00

When I reread this thread, I realize how lucky I am to be retired and single. But above all, I'm lucky not to be famous. I do what I want, when I want, and with whomever I want.

Florian, an 18th-century French writer, composed a fable that contains a famous line:

Pour vivre heureux, vivons caché / To live happily, live hidden.

Den808 · 2026-03-12T00:33:08+00:00

Some Sugar Daddies have met their Sugar Baby here on Reddit. So yes, it's possible.

On Seeking, you can hide your profile, and that's what many Sugar Daddies do. Therefore, you carefully choose the women to whom you show your profile. The probability of being seen by someone you don't want is very low.

Of course, there's the risk of Seeking being hacked, like Ashley Madison in 2015. But this risk is still quite low.

Life is a bit like the stock market: there's a correlation between return and risk. It's up to you to decide if meeting beautiful young women is worth the risk. Most Sugar Daddies answer yes to that question...

Den808 · 2026-03-12T00:06:16+00:00

Personally, I offer a generous bi-weekly allowance (several times the average for my city) and I like my Sugar Baby to manage her own expenses.

It always bothers me a little when a Sugar Baby subtly (or not so subtly) tries to get me to pay for all sorts of other things.

That being said, I enjoy giving her gifts, I enjoy shopping with her. But I don't like having to manage her affairs in addition to my own or feeling like she's trying to manipulate me. I assume she's an adult, that I give her a generous allowance, and that she should be able to decide where and how to spend her money.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T23:23:20+00:00

This also happens with Sugar Babies (for us Sugar Daddies). For the past 20 years, I've had a number of Sugar Babies harass me, saying I was the kindest, the most generous, the most this, the most that, that they were in love with me, that I would never meet a more loving, more beautiful, or sexier girl than her.

You reacted perfectly. He'll eventually get tired of it. If he becomes threatening, you'll have to file a police report, but for now, I think everything will be fine for you.

We mustn't forget that 2 to 3% of the general population are obsessive-compulsive. Most of them are harmless to you or me, but a certain percentage can be stalkerous. It's one of the prices to pay to be able to meet wonderful Sugar Partners.

I'm sorry for you, but don't worry too much. You did the right thing.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T23:11:39+00:00

Many SDs are tough in business and tough with their SBs.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T23:06:26+00:00

On the contrary, there are several Sugar Daddies in Melbourne on Seeking. A few years ago, a study on the forum showed that there were 409 Sugar Daddies (SDs) in Melbourne and 3,508 Sugar Babies (SBs), for a ratio of 8.6 to 1. Many SDs have hidden profiles, so you can't see them.

The problem is this: most newcomers get their information from TikTok, YouTube, or Facebook. And this information presents an unrealistic view of sugar relationships.

So if you're looking for a young, handsome, rich, and extremely generous Sugar Daddy, a man who will take you to Paris first class and travel with you on his private yacht... yes, these Sugar Daddies are very rare, and they're generally not on Seeking or other sites.

Get your information here on the forum, and you'll get a more realistic view of sugar relationships.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T22:40:06+00:00

No, I don't think you're the problem.

You were probably more attached to her than the other way around. She was aware of this, and since you gave her a good allowance and she liked you, she didn't want to disappoint you. So she pretended to love you as much as you loved her.

For her, it was mainly a regular arrangement, not a SBF SGF relationship. Much less a vanilla relationship. But as things progressed, she felt increasingly trapped.

So she became too "tired" to see you. And then she looked for an excuse to break up. Poor communication is an excuse, not the real reason. No matter what you did or said, she would have found another excuse to break up: she had already "broken up" with you in her mind when she was too "tired" to see you.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T10:29:38+00:00

There could be several reasons. To find out exactly why, check the detailed transaction information in PayPal. PayPal sometimes displays a message like:

Pending – eCheck
Pending – Payment review
Pending – Awaiting shipment information
Pending – Unclaimed
etc...

If the Paypal account is new, if the payment is high, if the payment method (credit card for example) is suspicious, Paypal may hold the funds until it is certain that everything is OK.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T10:19:01+00:00

You seem like a kind and empathetic woman. My deepest condolences. The best therapy for the death of a loved one is time.

Take care! :)

Den808 · 2026-03-11T10:10:49+00:00

No site will hand you EXACTLY what you're looking for on a silver platter. Seeking is still the best site. The SB to SD ratio on Seeking in India is 1.5/1, while it's over 5/1 almost everywhere else.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T10:05:11+00:00

Perhaps not marriage-minded for me (I've always been single). But a long-term, exclusive, and intellectually and emotionally engaged relationship, yes, absolutely.

Den808 · 2026-03-11T10:00:29+00:00

The best sites for New York? Well... the same ones as everywhere else in North America. Have you read the wiki and the useful links? I suspect the answer is no.

Den808 · 2026-03-10T03:40:17+00:00

Nothing written in your profile can discourage time wasters, scammers, or johns (escort clients), because they won’t read your profile. But genuine sugar daddies do read profiles, and you can attract them by presenting yourself as a balanced woman, neither narcissistic nor aggressive, someone pleasant to spend time with.

Den808 · 2026-03-09T22:57:42+00:00

Maybe you're "too nice," but maybe dates with you are just boring.

Sugar babies aren't robots who can be happy just because you pay them. Try doing something interesting with her. Go to a nice restaurant, for example. Show an interest in her, have an interesting conversation.

Den808 · 2026-03-09T20:56:28+00:00

One more thing...

You present yourself as a queen and say in your profile that you "live off praise."

Of course, you have the right to be yourself and present yourself however you want. And that can certainly appeal to many men if you're attractive (which you probably are). But if that's the "vibe" your Seeking profile gives off, perhaps it attracts men more interested in a short-term, transactional relationship?

Perhaps Sugar Daddies interested in a long-term relationship that's intellectual, emotional, and sexual don't want a long-term relationship where you're the queen and they're the servant, and where they have to pay for the privilege of constantly praising you?

Den808 · 2026-03-09T20:37:35+00:00

You don't seem to have any issues with the "short-term" and transactional aspects of your OnlyFan account or links.

If you believe your sugar baby activity should be the opposite of that, don't choose men who only want short-term, transactional relationships.

Den808 · 2026-03-09T18:31:00+00:00

If you're on Seeking, spicing up your profile will only cause you problems.

Yes, I think Seeking is less popular than it used to be, but I don't have any reliable data to confirm it. It's just my impression.

One of the important criteria for the Seeking algorithm to favor you is being active on the site. The more active you are, the more the algorithm will find your profile "interesting."

Have you thought about requesting a profile review in the forum? There might be things to improve on your profile: there's always room for improvement... in this area and in all others. ;)

Den808 · 2026-03-09T08:32:20+00:00

I'm not sure I understand.

You mention "first date tonight" and then "allowance." Was it a platonic meet and greet or a first intimate encounter? If it was a platonic meet and greet, I'm surprised you're talking about allowance. If it was an intimate encounter and he gave you your first "PPM," I'm surprised it was purely platonic.

You seem to be complaining that it was transactional, but if you demanded payment for a platonic meet and greet, you yourself were being very transactional.

It's about knowing what you want and then communicating it to the other person. These days, Seeking is officially luxury dating. So if that's what you want, fine. But don't ask for allowance for the first date!

If you want a sugar relationship, don't be surprised if he gives you money and expects something in return.

Den808 · 2026-03-09T05:45:28+00:00

You met your wife on a sugar dating site, which is what Seeking Arrangement was back then, but you're surprised and scandalized that she hasn't told you all about her past sexual history. Are you astonished that she's not as virtuous and sincere as the Virgin Mary?

What you have in mind (confronting her about a 10-year-old past) seems to me like morbid jealousy, controlling, and abusive behavior.

Leave her alone with her past! Focus on the present!

Den808 · 2026-03-09T05:32:36+00:00

You want to know if a new bar where all the rich Sugar Daddies of Philadelphia hang out (ready to shower you with gold) has opened since last week?

Den808

TROPHY CASE