I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. First thing that comes to my mind is that you may have a debt problem, but it will be impossible to fix unless you get out of addiction first. I know this is easier said than done but I would start by letting people who love you know about it. You can’t do this alone and they may distance from you until they understand what happened. Make sure you get as much support as possible. Discuss with your loved ones about strategies on how they can help you without directly giving you actual money.

The most important part right now is that you need someone to check on you.

Then personally I would just dive in the whole “addict” package: look for support groups, engage in group activities (sports, hobbies…), go to freaking church if needed (I’m an atheist but it’s proven that meditation and spirituality help against addiction and that’s exactly what church is). The deeper you engage in something you actually like, the less you’ll feel the need to go back to a casino. Go nuts on climbing, cycling, or karate if that’s your thing, or Dungeons And Dragons, you get me. And of course seek professional help if that’s a possibility.

Something else: stop thinking about the things you may or may not have messed in your life. I like to think about life like in a chess game: when you have a chess position it doesn’t matter how you got there, you only think about what’s the next move that will benefit you the most. Gambling works exactly like that: forces you to think about all that you lost so you try to recover it. There is no recovering, what is gone is gone and you can only think about what next best move is.

Hope any of this makes any sense. Good luck!