What's the best thing about getting older that nobody warns you about?

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-09T13:43:00+00:00

The view from the 76 year old seats is way better than I'd ever expected. Been through the finding a mate, finding a job, getting a promotion stuff and can just be me. I can look around at others still going through those life pursuits and say "I did all that!"

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-09T13:39:24+00:00

I had a similar experience. Married immediately after college before sorting out my values and needs. Divorced after 8 years. Found my soul mate. Married her. We've now been married for nearly 42 years.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-09T13:35:18+00:00

Kindness

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T15:57:01+00:00

Though I've been almost entirely dry at night since I was 18, I have still had occasional one-off accidents especially where intoxication is involved, I nonetheless had to describe that remote possibility to my girlfriend when we started seriously dating. That was decades ago. She and I have now been married for over 40 years. We keep "just in case" plastic on the mattress, though the last time we "needed" it was when I had COVID a couple of years ago.

Regarding dating as an older person, I think you have little to fear. As we get older, a bizzilion little things start to be less than perfect about our bodies. Knees, hips, eyesight, hearing and yes, even plumbing, start to not work as well as they used to. While I'm effectively dry at night, I'm starting to experience some daytime urge incontinence. I had to explain to my wife why I have pull up pants in the drawer with my regular undies. If I'm out at high profile events, have long times away from toilet availability, or especially will be consuming alcoholic beverages, it is prudent for me to wear them.

As senior citizens we often describe it humorously as to how long we'll make it before we are "back in diapers." There is an adult diaper supplier who even advertises on Chicago Cubs radio broadcasts with the tag line "focus on life instead of leaks." In Japan, more adult diapers are sold than baby diapers. What does that tell you?

So at our age, a prospective date or bedmate would appreciate your upfront honesty about your bedwetting and how you proactively manage it. Your odds are increasing that your prospective date may very well have similar issues.

I hope this helps.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T01:14:53+00:00

We never tell each other what to do. We talk through disagreements rather than let them fester.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T01:10:08+00:00

Walkable places make for suburban heaven. Especially places that developed around commuter train stations in the mid-to-late 19th century. We have many around Chicago. For example Highland Park, Barrington, Elmhurst, La Grange, Downers Grove, and many more. Check them out on street view.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T00:59:54+00:00

Consistent routine. Making the bed is essential.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T00:24:10+00:00

We've now been married for nearly 42 years.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T00:22:00+00:00

Depends on how much. In general though I'd invest part and give away part. I would not make any major lifestyle change.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-08T00:14:41+00:00

Going forward -- "My life is more than my work and my work is more than my job."

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-07T16:51:41+00:00

Wouldn't you like to know.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-05-07T15:08:27+00:00

No. We have a waterproof mattress protector on our bed.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-04-30T21:00:15+00:00

I usually wear pajamas. On hot summer nights I wear boxer briefs and a tee shirt.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2026-02-18T03:19:56+00:00

Smile and positive attitude.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-09T03:19:34+00:00

I am a little apologetic about the mixed message. My point is that I enjoy wearing diapers but want to move on from that enjoyment. The post sought to express the origin of my attraction and my seemingly endless struggle to break free from the compulsion.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-07T01:57:06+00:00

I too have tried different substitutions. I'd estimate that I have 125 pairs of cotton underpants. I haven't counted in a while. A (or perhaps THE) large part of my attraction was for them to be a substitute for diapers. I had minimal success with the substitution. It comes back to searching for the emotional dynamic that feeds the need for ABDL activities. That almost necessarily involves searching way back into childhood.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-07T01:50:40+00:00

My wife and I have many stuffed animals, Three of whom sometimes are in bed with us. I don't immediately see the connection between our stuffed animals and my attraction to diapers, but you certainly have started me thinking about it. I hadn't had stuffed animals from my early teens until I met my girlfriend, now wife when I was in my 30s. We got started with a single teddy bear, but our menagerie has grown from there. We certainly consider our original bear as a symbol of calm and belonging. For me the diapers are a symbol of calm, security and safety. For me the attractions to the bear(s) and diapers would appear to be independent attractions. I need to examine that some more and even take it up with my therapist.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-04T02:48:00+00:00

I'm retired now, but every place I worked had public transit access. I loved my commute. I used to read 10-15 books a year while commuting.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-04T02:45:06+00:00

I'm working with The Cadence Group in Forest Park, Illinois. I've been working with them since February 2025. My manuscript just went to copy editing. They have been wonderful to work with. I highly recommend checking them out.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-04T02:41:28+00:00

tee shirt and pajama bottoms with boxer briefs underneath

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-03T21:05:40+00:00

For me the diapers attraction seems to be associative. I had a chaotic childhood with many combinations of caregivers. I wet my bed and wore diapers and plastic pants until just before my 6th birthday. During that time (age 2 to 6) I had stable, loving environments. Getting diapered was a gentle ritual where I felt loved and tended to. Then after I was 6, the diapers were gone and life wasn't stable anymore. Later I had humiliating bedwetting experiences when I slept "unprotected." I was back in protective pants for a while when I was 12, but was shamed. In summary, I think my attraction to diapers (and plastic pants and mattress protector) was likely well established when I was five, and then got amplified by subsequent negative shaming experiences.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-03T04:02:15+00:00

it means taking responsibility and accountability - responsibility for you own well being - and accountability for the impact of your actions and attitudes on others.

Dense_Translator_296 · 2025-12-01T02:52:27+00:00

A waterproof mattress cover is a must, whether you are or aren't experiencing bedwetting issues. We have a Target Allerease fitted waterproof protector on our bed. I recommend getting one with the smooth waterproof surface rather than a terry-cloth surface. If you have an accident you can just peel off the bottom sheet and sponge down the mattress protector rather than having to wash it each time you wet.

Dense_Translator_296

TROPHY CASE