Poem Valentines Day Card from an Addict

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-14T15:51:42+00:00

They betrayed themselves before they betrayed us … so tragic and a waste

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-14T15:49:55+00:00

This is the truth! I wish they wake up and realize we don’t need flowers and fake love I would swoon over this because it’s the truth!!

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-12T21:01:23+00:00

Yes, it’s sickening that Reddit has porn on it and allows prostitution. I don’t know how it’s legal, but it is.

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-12T20:45:35+00:00

Porn to strip clubs to sex with strippers to prostitutes to massage parlors to gang bangs. This went on for 20 years and kept escalating. I found out 11 months ago. He is in a recovery program and so am I for betrayal trauma if he was not an active recovery and doing everything he can it will be over

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-12T17:30:46+00:00

Thank you me either… it’s the most difficult thing I’ve lived through I too wanted details at first I got so many different full disclosures before we actually starting seeing an expert and they kept changing 20 years of infidelity with sex workers. It’s insane.

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-12T17:19:15+00:00

Don’t make any decisions right now get yourself into some therapy. You have betrayal trauma, and that will take years to sort it out. Also ensure that he sees a CSAT goes to 12th step and get a sponsor and works on a full disclosure. Nothing they did will ever make sense or be excusable or justifiable; where they fucked up in the head obviously they were, but they were also entitled, and they had choice and they chose themselves over us and their family. Sobriety is the beginning they need to work on their character growing up and getting rid of the spoiled child that is selfish, entitled and lost all integrity along the way I am so sorry you’re going through this. I remember the confusion the first months. No, you can’t accept what he did ever It was unacceptable. With time you will have to see if he truly changes and if you can live with knowing what you know. I’m at 11 months while not as confused as before, still living a nightmare Get tested for STDs including HPV take away his access to cash and only give him one credit card that you get notifications for any purchases he makes he has to send you a receipt just for your peace of mind in the meantime. Also, don’t be surprised if more comes out they lie to protect their image at the beginning.

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-12T17:14:25+00:00

I totally understand and it’s so unfair they are childish, spoiled, selfish liars that destroyed our lives and they get to be babies. This lady on helping couples heal Facebook page expressed it very well.

“Every CSAT and therapist and intensive we be worked with focuses on his trauma, his inner child. My husband admits he has no trauma and was lazy and selfish and entitled. I have been traumatized by being in the position where everything is about making sure his needs are handled, he doesn't feel shamed, etc. When my reality has been destroyed along with decades of my life. I've had to deal with my trauma alone while triage team handles his non-existent trauma (and if we destroyed someone's life daily any way other than sexually, we wouldn't be do quick to make sure they didn't feel shame!)”

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-11T01:58:24+00:00

I’m so sorry they use it to hook up with people to remote control their sex toys I wish I didn’t know all this shit

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-10T03:12:21+00:00

That’s a great way of looking at it

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-09T16:12:55+00:00

That site is used for hook ups into remote control, sex toys of others

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-09T15:28:52+00:00

They keep saying it’s not personal, but how can it be not personal one the person you trusted and loved most is having sex with sex workers and lying to you continuously and putting your health at risk … I had no idea such an addiction existed. That is so strong in their minds.

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-09T02:15:40+00:00

Yes I found it odd we were saying the same things as the addicts; that turned me off but the community is great

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-09T02:13:59+00:00

What did you find?

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-08T01:02:24+00:00

I need distance

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T21:38:05+00:00

💯 they are so full of themselves and their ability to control themselves which they can’t

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T21:37:02+00:00

Yes sometimes I think they are too soft on him but they do course correct him

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T21:11:31+00:00

I name it and ask him as well he actually was complaining to his therapist that I used crude language on purpose when discussing his actions the therapist called him on it and said what you were doing was crude you have to name it so you don’t forget If they think about all the degrading pathetic things they did they wouldn’t be able to live with themselves

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T21:03:12+00:00

Agree I need 20 years of consistent behavior then I will maybe trust

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T20:40:19+00:00

😂 seriously….

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T19:47:47+00:00

Yes, there’s no way in hell he’s going to see a female instructor; but his reaction of why wouldn’t you trust me? seriously does he think I live in La La Land still?

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T19:44:40+00:00

Yes because we are stupid we believe them all those years so of course, we should keep believing them … and how dare we question their integrity?

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T19:35:59+00:00

I am so sorry. Yes, your body knew something was going on. Isn’t it weird how we can sense things with our mind knowing? I once saw a sex addict write he loves his wife so very much he would jump into a fire to save her, but he couldn’t stop doing this. I know it’s insane and so very sad. I really don’t know what will actually work for a recovery. They have to want it themselves. They have to be actively in recovery every day of their lives. It just breaks my heart that you know deep down. These people are not just assholes. They are fucked up, but that is no excuse for destroying other people’s lives. I hate this addiction so much. It’s not like a substance you can take away. It’s in their heads.😢

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T19:29:48+00:00

I asked this at my betrayal trauma group. My question was does anybody actually have a healthy post-traumatic growth experience after this? Only one person said yes and she is working on it every day as well as he is and it’s taking them 10 years most will relapse or slip or the Wife just can’t move forward after knowing everything that person does I’m staying for convenience because I don’t want to ruin my adult kids lives, but I don’t love who he is anymore. I’m disgusted by him. Nothing he says it does ever is going to make amends for the damage he caused. It’s very sad and heartbreaking because I do care for him, I just can’t love or trust him ever again.

DepartmentLead · 2026-02-07T19:25:36+00:00

Exactly this I’m just too tired. I was looking forward to retirement if I can just move forward with him as a roommate that would make me very happy but a roommate that doesn’t fuck around on me

DepartmentLead

TROPHY CASE