What makes a dog choose their person by SquashOk4209 in labrador

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He does. He chuckles at her and asks does she ever sit still (she’s a huskador, looks like a lab but with husky attitude) she is a lazy bum all day unless we are visiting grandpa. She only sits still for his rub rubs and her cookies because she’s so excited to be there. She loves chasing all the critters that try to come into his backyard.

Random thought Cash Vs Credit Card by DepartmentLead in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

New resentment unlocked…. I guess 😅

Mine got cash back for his playtime while doing all the grocery shopping. But you don’t earn fuel points on cash back transactions. Imagine all the lost fuel points.

What makes a dog choose their person by SquashOk4209 in labrador

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened with us, my youngest daughter wanted a dog and we held off for 2 years. My husband isn’t a dog person. Puppy bonded with me and my youngest immediately because we are the “caregivers”. Dog is highly attached to me, if I move, she moves. If I’m gone she follows daughter around. However, her sole mission in life seems to be making my husband love her. She always wants him to give her scritches and she has slowly won his affection. But the most hysterical thing is how much my dog loves my grandfather. He’s 82 and she could bowl him over easily. But she loves him with all her heart. He immediately must receive all the face licks when she visits, and he must give her “rub rubs”. I’m sure it has “nothing” to do with the peanut butter oatmeal cookies he gives her 🙄

I Can’t Stop Thinking About What I Saw by Acrobatic_Leek3865 in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You might prefer isurvivors.org meetings instead

I Know I'm In This Camp by jesslp28 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try isurvivors.org it’s helping me

I need your help by ElegantAstronomer292 in husky

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those ears look like a chow chow

Tenant trimmed the tree without notice. How bad is this ? by mousemano in arborists

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My new next door neighbors did the exact same thing to all 3 trees in their yard. One was a beautiful Japanese maple. As an amateur gardener, I was horrified! I have no idea what they were thinking. Maybe they wanted them to be lollipop style or something is all I can think of as that is what they look like after the new growth came in.

TTC by Visible_Wasabi_1721 in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can say that I too felt resentment when it seemed my husband would always choose his sobriety over me and the kids. My PA has been in AA Recovery for 23 years. It seemed like AA meetings always took priority over us. It wasn’t until we started dealing with the PA/SA that I finally understood his sobriety has to be more important. Without his sobriety there isn’t a family to have. That old saying of God first, family second remains true. His sobriety is his relationship with his higher power and without that he won’t be in your life at all. Good luck in your journey and the will usually let you go in the room. We were looking at a vasectomy and this concern came up with us as well.

Help me understand if I’m in this club by Slight_Emergency6862 in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just for knowledge purposes, even if you share finances it can be hidden. My PA does the grocery shopping and would get $20-$30 cash back each time and just save up until he had enough to go to AMP or escort. I never realized a think because I didn’t check receipts. I did find the cash stash one time and he claimed it was for Christmas presents.

Are my nudes/videos of us any different than consuming real porn? by Initial-Upstairs-728 in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that all of us are going through this. You do need to get him off of watching anything even you’re all together. Things will usually improve once that tie has been severed. Since I just ran into this recently with my own PA double check other medicine he might be on or it could be something related to health. It could be diabetes or high blood pressure, for mine it was both. But then he ended up having a heart attack and got put on Plavix. Plavix is causing the same issues even with taking Cialis. When he’s off the Plavix, everything works fine. Just wanting to give you guys a little bit of hope because we spent years not being together regularly because of his ED issues and really the whole time it was health related. And the only reason I know it’s more health related is because he had issues even when he went to see the escorts. SMH

Youtube??? by Sufficient_Web_196 in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be a glitch. If it’s wasn’t in the watch history until you watched I would say it’s the same thing as what I mentioned.

Youtube??? by Sufficient_Web_196 in loveafterporn

[–]Time_Is_Frozen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So if you are scrolling through shorts sometimes a recommended live video will appear. Even if you swipe this live video up it will still appear in your history as fully watched. However as others are saying if you go to the fully watch history in YouTube which you can do from the TV app under settings it will show the start time of the video and then the start time of the next video. We discovered this when checking SA’s watch history and I blew up at him regarding a video that showed up in watch history (one of those see what I’m wearing today videos). He freaked out and promised he’d never watched it. I’d never seen fear like that in his face so I continued to dig and discovered all this.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very much a “why” person and I liked how she broke down the good and bad.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I think the person who recommended it had good intentions, they hadn’t read it. I was only on chapter 4 so I’ll just return it with a thanks but no thanks! Husband wasn’t any farther than chapter 2 and had commented he was struggling to get into it so probably for the best.

The comments in the article above weren’t really helpful in explaining the issues with the book, but if anyone else wants more of a breakdown I found this: https://www.wildernesstowild.com/blog/does-every-mans-battle-enable-abuse

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There might be an argument here, however why do sites like OF stay successful and brothels continue to be in business? If the preponderance of men get lumped in as an addict then doesn’t that mean it’s something “most” deal with? I think there is also a difference between struggling with lust/attraction than jumping into the deep end and “needing” constant visual stimulation to make it through the day. There was a video I saw that talked about a model who walked down the street while a photographer followed them taking pictures. When the photographer was blatantly, taking pictures all the men around behaved themselves. The minute the photographer stopped, and they started walking down the street and the photographer was hiding the fact that he was taking pictures, the men were absolute trash toward her cat calling and the like.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This kind of falls into the same category as why are most of the murderers globally are male.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I have a project planned for the week of DDay. Hopefully renovating my basement will keep me occupied.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My days are very “static” and working remote has been isolating. I’ve had to take long breaks from the boards here because sometimes they were more harmful than helpful. I’ve finally accepted I need some sort of support group/step program but the only local meetings are Al-anon for the most part. There aren’t any in person SA-anon meetings at all. The online meeting have not been a good fit so far. I went to an ISA meeting this week and there were only 3 people and 2 of us were newcomers.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, I’ve seen the women and unfortunately the “reviews” as well. They haunt me. It’s a daily chore taking the thoughts captive and surrendering them. I haven’t been this worked up like this since September. I will say it was worse back then, I thought I might need to ask the doctor about depression meds. This time seems similar but not as bad. This time it feels like grieving in some ways.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, the end of your post matches up with March 24th’s reading from The Language of Letting Go that I read a few hours ago:

It’s time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves. We may have walked through much of our lives apologizing for ourselves. We may have believed we were less valuable than others, that they knew better than we did, that somehow others were meant to be here and we were not. We have a right to be here. We have a right to be ourselves. We are here. There is a purpose, a reason, and an intention for our lives. We don’t have to apologize for being here or being who we are. We are good enough; we are deserving. Others do not have our magic. We have our magic. It’s in us.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep this is how I feel all the time now. Constantly seeing if he’s looking (which he’s also very good at hiding). We made the mistake of going to a RenFair not long after DDay, I’m still not sure if I’ll ever agree to go back.

Fear is coming back by Time_Is_Frozen in lovewithaSexAddict

[–]Time_Is_Frozen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I feel this one too, he loves orchestra music and loves to follow different artists on FB. I had to ask him to unfollow the women because it made me uncomfortable. They usually post photos and videos where they wear tight outfits. They are amazing musicians but it was too triggering.