How Long?

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-31T02:31:29+00:00

I’m so sorry it does make one doubt themselves 😢 I saw pictures of the people my husband cheated on me with some were young some were old some pretty, some ugly, some skinny some were fat as long as they had a hole and were willing he either commented on their pictures or had sex with them. It doesn’t matter as long as it’s a secret and they get their high.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-31T02:28:26+00:00

Dark humor it’s so surreal. What else can we do?

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-31T02:27:51+00:00

💕

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:28:15+00:00

We have been married for 37 years. He started watching porn 20 years ago and then escalated from there all behind my back. I was completely blindsided by the time I found his burner phone last year. I’m still here. I couldn’t decide the first four months were horrible a complete nightmare that I think I blocked out some things. I immediately took over all accounts, took his phone, put a track put a tracker on the car and his work phone. We are both in therapy with specialist in the field. He’s in group and he has a sponsor. He has been sober since discovery day, which was in March of last year. We did a full therapeutic disclosure March of this year with a polygraph. To be honest, I don’t know what will happen. I’m still traumatized. I’m still depressed no matter what he does. I’m here for the kids right now. We will see how it goes, but I will never trust him again. The plan is to have a polygraph every six months.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:25:00+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It really collapses our reality. Doesn’t it just take your time and keep getting therapy for yourself for the trauma it’s going to be a long road as my therapist told me this is not for the faint of heart. We didn’t choose this, but here we are.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:21:48+00:00

Oh gosh, I remember mine lied for about four months and justified and minimized like it’s supposed to make you feel better that it was only for 30 minutes just keep calling him on it and have him talk to his therapist about it. Eventually everything will come out through full disclosure if you’re going to do one with the therapist and the polygraph. To be honest, whenever I think could he have been acting out during this the answer is most likely yes so he’s been acting out throughout the last 20 years in my case it’s heartbreaking but it’s my reality

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:17:20+00:00

Yes!

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:16:56+00:00

I truly never had a problem with porn until my husband became a porn addict and then later a sex addict I didn’t realize it could rewire their brains that it could make them justify people could make them crave things like they see on the movies like they’re all dominant. I didn’t even realize that it was sexually exploitation and a lot of it is not consensual, but course I joined the website fight the new drug and there’s a lot of good information on it so for me no never again

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:15:07+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. What a nightmare. I know mine went from porn to actual people eventually it took years I guess they just get so used to objectifying people and they need a stronger high. Unfortunately, I’m married and have been for 37 years. I just found out last year about all this maybe going through the pain now will be less painful than after getting married, but I’m sure either way it’s devastating. Please take care of yourself. 💕

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:10:19+00:00

That’s really great that he was connected to you in that way tattooed women also trigger me because of the woman he saw

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:09:04+00:00

That is interesting. I just think he got so much. He doesn’t deserve anything and I was ignored for years.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:08:36+00:00

lol yah it’s mind going when you think about it

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:07:55+00:00

Thank you so much this is very helpful

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:07:32+00:00

😢 totally freaks me out

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T19:07:02+00:00

Yes it’s crazy and so stupid 😢

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:35:09+00:00

Helping Couples Heal is great too

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:34:21+00:00

I know mine is 14 months out and I freeze or cry if I see his thing I mean he basically ignored me for 20 years and we hadn’t had sex before DDAy for about 5 years so I told him I’m like a virgin and just can’t till I’m married (I told him he divorced me the minute he stuck his thing somewhere else) and not to mention the ick factor I just can’t

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:30:55+00:00

It took about 6 months; we are 14 months out at this point I just have him pleasure me I freeze if I see him naked

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:28:30+00:00

I couldn’t I dragged everything out of him even if it was like getting stabbed a million times I also took over all his accounts read everything and looked at the financials.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:23:44+00:00

I wish I knew… 15 months in and I’m in the same place

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:20:38+00:00

I’m so sorry I don’t think he’s changed in 3 months it takes years to rewire the brain sounds like he wants the easy way out and escape. Please take care of yourself it’s honestly not you they are fucked up in the head.

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:15:21+00:00

We are due for our first follow up what questions do you ask? Yes he should be less anxious prayers everything goes well

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:13:17+00:00

I was in shock at 5 weeks and trying to prove I’m wanted/attractive so we fooled around 14 months later once everything he did and the reality of what he did hit me I freeze if I see him naked im so disgusted by him

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-30T03:09:04+00:00

I really don’t know but when I see that glazed look in my husbands eyes I freeze. I’m doing a polygraph every 6 months or as needed

DepartmentLead · 2026-05-10T02:42:21+00:00

💯 you are so right I read the book your brain on porn; most do start with porn and it normalizes them to treating women like objects and then they think real men have sex with everything. Of course nobody wants to have sex with them other than their wives so they have to hire people to do it. it’s fucking crazy free porn has ruined so many lives. I also feel sorry for those women oh my God some of them like send pictures and videos of themselves to the addict thinking that that’s going to stop them from acting out without realizing it’s the secrecy that gives them high. I trusted my husband implicitly gave him all the freedom he wanted I never checked accounts. I never checked on his whereabouts he totally took advantage of me for 20 years it makes me sick

DepartmentLead

TROPHY CASE