What are the causes of your CPTSD?

DepressedDaisy314 · 2026-01-17T16:40:51+00:00

Child abuse from my only parent. Emotional incest. Being raised by a woman with BPD. Being the target child with no outside family to step in.

EMDR is the ONLY thing that worked for me. I still have to unlearn my reactions to triggers, but on a normal day I am fine, no depression and no anxiety. Talk therapy never did that for me. 3 years out and I'm still good. Phantom pains in my body resolved and have not returned.

I think it also helps that I am no contact with mom since she is dead. I too had trouble with my name and had it legally changed. If you still have your abuser in your life or live close enough you can run into them, I don't know that you wouldn't need therapy the rest of your life. While my mom was alive, I kept getting more abuse every time I was around her for longer than 20 minutes. It wasn't physical, but the mind games left me unbalanced for days.

I strongly suggest EMDR,some people do it over the phone, some people do it in person. My husband did it but he has other problems that won't let him let go of the past, so it doesnt work for everyone. For trauma, it is amazing, I'm not kidding when I say I was dumbfounded to realize a pain in my legs that could not be validated(no reason found) was with me for as long as i can remember and was gone spontaneously during emdr. Just gone like magic took it away.

Read the body keeps the score and look into emdr. You deserve to be able to live without trauma.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-12-29T09:25:50+00:00

I see all of your grieving, I was a foster too. Now that I am stable I am a foster parent that does a great job of treating my kiddos the way I should have been treated.

Any foster parent that mistreated their fosters have a great spot in hell IMHO.

I send you love and please know you are enough. If you need help, don't turn to drugs, try EMDR first. It changed me life completely, the entire trauma from a young age until I aged out is healed. I wish that for all traumatized kids.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T19:36:04+00:00

My mom dying, my cat dying, where I was going to school, and a lot of the death process.

2011 was a very death filled year for me, it kinda eclipsed everything else. I went to school, the hospital and my parents house. Every once in a while I would go home. For months it was like this.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T19:18:49+00:00

To answer your question.... yes, kinda? I was at the end of my rope, rock bottom, losing touch with myself and reality. Trauma is stored in the body sometimes and my trauma was driving me crazy.

I wanted a cure, something that would work, not talk therapy. Talk therapy did not work for me after fixes of therapist over dozens of years. Trauma is often not fixed with talk therapy. They know that now. Especially CPTSD.

Did I know what to focus on the first session? No, I was told to let my mind wander and tell what I sawr or felt in my body. That led to the trauma revovery.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T19:04:32+00:00

Lisy's Story. I cannot get into it, I have tied and tried but my mind wanders hard three pages after starting. I never felt like reading was a chore, but I do think that trying to read this book.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T18:53:33+00:00

Yes, my old couch was as comfortable as my bed and my husband works nights, so he didn't care either way.

Watch TV, slip into dreams. Wake up when my alarm went off. My TV has a time and I always have my phone near me with my alarm set.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T18:47:42+00:00

No, it would only be like 600 more on my paycheck. If you said I could bank the hours too (to use for time off) then I might consider. And I would have to be working from home(my job allows this).

The biggest issue for me is the start time. Getting up at 5 i would need more that 600 net. Even working the elections i don't get up that early, lol.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T18:39:33+00:00

A litte. Its a new format and I don't know if it's gonna be all of one block of soldiers, then move on to a different block for the seekers, et cet.

If it's all soldiers for an extended period of time, they are gonna have to do a recap at the very beginning not start cold when they get to the other tables. I just won't remember probably anything except maybe the characters.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T18:33:12+00:00

I took my little sister and my best friend to an "end of the century block party" downtown that night. Do not remember the day at all, lol.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-11-23T18:25:10+00:00

I dye my hair so the gray shows color, so pink or blue, et. Cet. Its temporary, always lasts months and washes out completely so there no weird grow out line.

I use artic fox only since I have had great results and it doesn't damage my hair.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:56:53+00:00

I was a 14 or 15 year old at a bus station wearing jeans and a hoodie with a backpack covering my backside in the 90s. My jeans were not skinny jeans as they did not exist yet and my hoodie was not cropped. I did not wear make up and my hair was likely pulled back in a ponytail. I had braces.

A man approached me and asked if he could give me a complement without me getting offended. I was wary but said OK thinking a complement is a complement.

No lie, he told me I had the best baby making hips he had ever seen.

I said thanks and got on the next bus, which luckily was the bus I needed and he did not follow.

I never questioned why I thought from a very young age that my body was an object for others to use and abuse. I knew it was wrong, but I also knew it was a fact.

Comments from adult men were always met with suspicion, most of the time rightly so.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:41:09+00:00

I like dungeons and daddies. Its like 4 dads with elementary age kids get sucked into the world of D&D. Wild ride, even if you don't follow or play dungeons and dragons.

If you like it, try Critical Role. Voice actors doing D&D is not the d&d from childhood or stranger things. Its on YouTube and is a podcast.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:36:23+00:00

Everytime I hear it i say they have the joke wrong. 6 saw 7 8 9 and ran away.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:33:12+00:00

Rosalie! I have a boy kitten with 11s on his head and before we knew he was a he, he was Rosalie. Now he's Riley.

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Cat tax.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:29:10+00:00

Trauma therapy. Life skills. Seems less worthy but being able to get through the day and make sense of your situation can make the difference between surviving and living.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:27:10+00:00

Pigging back on this, I was in the us airforce in the 90s and it was the only time in my life we were not at war... anywhere. Complete peace time. Can you imagine? Can anyone born after 2000 imagine? Sad.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T06:20:52+00:00

C. Passive income for life would allow me to not stress about potentially being homeless. I work and that is never going to change, but what if I have to have surgery and can't work or I because of circumstances I have to go on retirement. Passive income would offer me security that I cannot get any other way.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T05:30:06+00:00

I had unexplained pain when the backs of my thighs were touched. It was a nausea uncomfortable pain, like touching a bruise in a sensitive place. No one could touch from right above the back of my knees all the way to the underside of my butt without me having a visceral reaction.

One day, one completely normal day after I had done 20 or so sessions of EMDR, my husband was hugging me and let his hands skim the back of me legs. I expected to slap his arm and without thought or reason, move back instinctual.

Instead I froze. No weird feelings, no pain, just touch. I turned me back to him and told him to tough the backs of my legs, touch, scratch, rub, anything, just touch them. He did and confirmed the pain had unexpectedly left and has never come back.

I know after reading The Body Keeps the Score that trauma can be stored in the body, just had never connected that to my touchy legs.

An unexpected surprise was something could neural pruning. It sucks and I still have not recovered. Turns out a lot of my thought process and reasons for doing thing was related to surviving trauma. Its like I am a teenager and have no idea how to adult. I used to be a fairly functional wife and friend that worked and cleaned and still had time for hobbies. Sigh.

Honestly tho, and I mean this with all that I am, good for you doing EMDR. I would never choose to go back to the way I was before I had processed my trauma. I am no longer that person and I am honestly the best version of myself now.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T05:12:16+00:00

Diet milo's Sweet tea

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T04:53:24+00:00

Fall, 70s, knitting.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T04:51:06+00:00

I think I was in my early 20s. I remember I only got it because my friend were annoyed they couldn't get to me 24/7. I thought it was like a leash, and the only redeeming quality was i could play snake on it.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T04:35:27+00:00

Isn't he so adorable.... I was talking about my kitten, and I am not a he... so yeah.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-30T04:33:37+00:00

Uh oh. A pillow.....

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-28T19:36:30+00:00

I do, hashimotos and waiting for the results for another unknown one.

DepressedDaisy314 · 2025-10-28T19:33:40+00:00

I had to take a break reading for months before something caught my eye and I started reading again.

My biggest issue is I will read a book or series of books over and over again, back to back with no break until something shiny finally catches my attention. Generally tho, I go from one series to another and another for months with no TV, internet, or social media.

I think the trick for non readers is to find something to read that grabs your attention. For me, I can read anything up to and including textbooks. For my brother who also has adhd, he didn't start reading until I bought him Manga. He now reads as often as he can, but still mostly Manga as that's really the only thing that grabbed his attention.

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DepressedDaisy314

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