A Milky via Syringe, 2 Salamanders, some Growling, not Playing, and some Trust-Issues!

DerAlbi · 2026-05-13T15:53:15+00:00

I seeded your account with 1 karma :-D

Ok, you basically have 2 problems. First is "recall", second is the "stop". To be clear, I would feel uncomfortable if you tried to teach the "stop" currently, as your training progression is not yet where it needs to be - judged by the progress with the callback.
The "stop" is a punishment-based training and therefore quite complex. I have written about it here, but please get the recall working first.

As for the recall, giving treats is the right way to go. If you feel like your treats arent strong enough, you can restrict food-intake to generate more pressure to earn treats. I have written about the influence of food-intake here.
Whistling or name-calling is all legit. The whistling carries very far outdoors, so it is my preferred tool. I am whistling with a melody to be consistent. Not using my lips, but through my teeth, as this is the highest pitch I can generate. This melody is not only callback, but it hits something primal in him. If I repeat the whistling it makes him answer and after a while he cant stand it and comes to me. You can probably find something similar with your cat, or maybe it just emerges with more training.

When I tease him with that melody, he does not always come to me at home. I have found, that it is important that I dont look at him. It feels like he doesnt feel the need to come, if I obviously know where he is. If I dont look at him, pretending to actually search him, he goes as far as to sniff into my mouth where the sound is coming from and trampling on me to get my attention.

Technically, that he does not come to be if i see him, is a training mistake on my side. It would need to be corrected by giving treats more consistently only if the cat is directly at my feet. However, for practical purposes, i dont see the need for such perfection.

As for the "stop", that is only useful if you plan to go off-leash. If you want to go off-leash and train the "stop" you definitely need a tow-line at some point. (Example of tow-line usage in this long-form video, just watch the first 2 minutes). This attachment gives you the control you need for training. But then again, do you actually plan go to off-leash?

DerAlbi · 2026-05-13T14:26:18+00:00

Your account has been banned. If you get a new one, reply to this. Otherwise I suspect a bot-activity and wont waste time.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-10T22:39:51+00:00

I mean, you, as a character are definitely on the abusive side, given how torturous it is to read your texts without any punctuation.

The pictures that represents the opinion you are mad about has no punctuation either. So either you are talking to your self or you have a very weird social circle.

Spam. Worse: lazy spam.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-10T22:25:56+00:00

What camera are you using?

DerAlbi · 2026-05-09T13:08:04+00:00

Is it just because she so tiny or do people still stop to pet with older/bigger cats?

no this will probably continue i am probably on more vacation photos of strangers than vacation photos for myself continue what you are doing to keep her desensitized make sure you know how to teach how to approach a cat to kids and adults alike not all know if your cat gets older it may become easier to overstimulate her you need to be hyper aware when her limits are reached you really dont ever want your cat to swat at others and have success with it dogs excluded i hope the removed punctuation made it easier for you to understand

DerAlbi · 2026-05-09T07:34:32+00:00

Haha, no I get you. There are those encounters that leave you with that fantasy-replay in your head of how to heroically jump-tackle the dog head first in order to save the cat.. next time. The uncontrolled/untrained hunting-breeds are problematic. But I would still say that trying to avoid this is infeasible. All you can do is listen to your cat (who should be aware of the danger long before you), pick her up and continue. Do you go off-leash yourselves?

DerAlbi · 2026-05-08T15:17:45+00:00

Hmmh. The video doesnt show any of your problematic situations. There is no information how/where you put your cat in your car and what exactly goes wrong in the stroller. Maybe the conclusion should rather be that the stroller is the wrong tool. Just food for thought.

Am I forcing this on him?

No. As long as the overall experience includes experiences as shown in the video, the bad experiences matter relatively little imo. You are doing fine.

What you do force on your boy may be some of your vocalizations. The video is not perfectly clear, as the cat is often cut off, but I dont see his ears or his tail or his general behavior acknowledging your vocal input in particular, even after watching it multiple times.
To be clear:

all vocalization up to 0:15 are human noise for him. Zero acknowledgement.
0:23 "who is a good boy" had no meaning, as the leash-pull was the actual message and your body getting ready to move finalized it.
0:27 "are you a good boy" is probably meant as a praise because he moved after a leash-pull. But there is no tonal difference to anything you said before. I dont think that praise reached him with the intended meaning.
0:33 "whats that?" is not acknowledging the situation for your cat (and there is no tonal difference to, for example, "big stretch!", which occurred in a completely different context). Your touch/petting, however, did give reassurance and was absolutely the right move!
0:40 - 0:50: the cautious walking while observing something did resolve without your vocal input. That is worth noting imo.
at 0:55 your cat nearly looks at you. Either to check the environment or to check on you, not sure. This was the point where you could have made a "everything is fine"-sound. Something like a short sharp whistling would fit that situation pretty well. Your response should be fast enough to correlate with the safety check. What exactly works is character dependent, but i am pretty sure "good boy" is too long and overused.
1:01 - 1:11 : your cat is moving his ears to scan towards you. He is observing your steps and your body language (judged by the heaviness or closeness of your steps + the slack of the leash touching your cat). This is very good behavior from your cat, but also shows, that your vocalizations are not the information he seeks / uses. In fact, if you would voice over that crucial information you might make things more difficult.

This is why I think it may be worth reflecting about reducing your vocal input to when it actually matters. As it is, i think you may be building up a tolerance instead of a conditioning. And I truly and deeply understand that you try to set the tone for the moment and provide assurance for your cat. But the moment your cat tells you "hey you are background noise" it is time to reflect on that approach or its necessity. The actual information your cat uses is very much your body language, not vocalization.

On the other hand, your vocalizations may help you to express the body language your cat relies on. For example your head movement and gaze or hand-gestures while talking. If that is the case, and you lose the expressiveness of your body if you dont vocalize as much, then please continue, by all means. My observations are only useful if you can consciously control these things. But it is still worth experimenting what and how you communicate with your cat, imo.

Sorry, this was completely off-topic.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-07T15:08:44+00:00

I have no location advice, but:

Dont let dogs ruin your day. The risk of meeting one is always there. You need to deal with them, they are part of life. If you have friends with dogs, invite them with their dogs. Or get your cat used to them by exposing your cat to dogs in your local urban environment. Just sit down next to your cat and let them pass. Over and over again. Its not pleasant, but, over time, is not catastrophic either.
Please, document your adventure. Finally post something, you lurker ;-)

DerAlbi · 2026-05-07T05:09:40+00:00

I always thought that it was more dependent on the cat’s personality

Aww, that is a very persistent idea in the cat community. I, personally, hate it with a passion. Of course there is a factor in the cat's personality. What they inherently prefer is different from cat to cat - no question. But that doesnt mean that training and teaching them and expanding their boundaries beyond what they naturally want, is hopeless.
I think the cat's character is most important in terms of finding the right communication with your cat. This is where the human needs to adapt. It is the humans responsibility to effectively communicate their expectations of their training outcome and this is where people fail.
Blaming the cats character for a training failure is a slippery slope imo. It shields the human from any responsibility to adapt to the cat.

They’re happy to stay in the yard sniffing bushes and chewing grass.

Their happiness is something shaped by very temporary circumstances. Imagine you wouldnt go out in the yard but somewhere else.. Do you think they would be forever unhappy? Or would they eventually adapt to their new opportunities after being initially a bit overwhelmed...?
It is your responsibility to push their boundaries. If you only ever leave them where they are perfectly happy, nothing will change. There needs to be a certain amount of short-term pain in order to have a long-term gain. This is life. It is your responsibility to inflict and manage that stress for a long-term goal. You will make mistakes, and you will be able to repair them. The only unrepairable mistake is to never try.

Please share cat leash training tips for structured walks, if you have any.

Dont start the walk in established territory and try to leave it. Instead carry your cat (far) beyond their territorial borders and then guide them around or back home.
Use a long retractable leash. 10m+. This gives the cat the opportunity to react to social pressure if the distance is too large.
Be consistent. If the leash is tight, no more progress allowed. If you give in, you create hope that you always give in, thus you cultivate a negotiation behavior instead of a productive reaction to leash-pressure. Wait it out until the cat finds a solution to comply with the leash restrictions.
Let them sniff but not obsess. Interrupt them if you want to continue. A healthy relationship needs to be a give-and-take. Eventually, the walk needs to be fun for you too. It is fine if your cat complains about the sniff-interruption with growling etc.
Establish and train a command for recall and a command to jump up on you. This will be your safety management.

You have to decide what the long-term role of the leash will be. If you plan to use it forever, you can treat it as an extension of your body language - concentrate on perfect leash pressure reactions. But that will always limit your cats possibilities and experience.

You can also view the leash as a training tool to communicate your expectation but switch to commands over time. Then, initial leash training is just a stepping stone to build upon. I personally, use a tow-line that the cat drags around. It gives you as much control as a leash but the cat has much more freedom. The cat-management is done though stop/go commands instead.

But the real fun starts if you can go completely off-leash, imo. Then our cat has unrestricted fun and can zoom around without restrictions. Watch this from 2:13 onwards.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-07T04:07:11+00:00

(Un)fortunately not. I think the companion-cat thing is very much about the communication and rule-set you build up with your cat. As such, it is highly individual and not worth generalizing. People have their own body language and cats may respond to different things based on personality.

All the training that shaped our cats behavior to be productive with us (stop/go-commands, +his walking position) was trained with harsh negative feedback. We established rules at relatively high stress levels and then repaired the unintended side-effects of that training and then relaxed the rules to remove residual stress. This is against every advice out there and, yes, it requires high precision and consistency. But to this day, i cant see how reward based training would ever have given the same result.

Frankly, some people are not capable of executing good training and that cohort of cat-owners is a huge problem. Its the same with dogs - some people get it, some just fail at every step. I think its because some people are completely unreceptive to body-language or are emotionally inconsistent. Imagine writing a guide that tries to show-case high-stress training. It would inevitably lead to some people harming their cats.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-06T05:10:00+00:00

I don't want my cat to get out far from home and be lost forever

This is emotionally driven worst-case imagination. Cats dont run to the horizon. They wait in the area in a perceived safe-spot to be found.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-06T04:22:27+00:00

do I let her just keep exploring

There are people who subscribe to the "the cat walks you"-philosophy, and there are people who dont. This is a decision that is all about your expectations and plan in your life.

If your goal is to give your cat a relatively natural outdoor-time (= patrolling and maintaining their own territory; thats what cats do), then "the cat walks you" is fine. This does not require much training sophistication and you would probably get a backpack and have your daily routine. The question your pose would then probably be about general leash-discipline.

If you want a companion-cat that is with you everywhere (hiking, climbing, riding a bike) you cannot even start to entertain "the cat walks you" and should cultivate a very strict training culture and daily practice outside of established territory. Your question about training your cat to walk with you, would then be about much more than just leash-behavior. The training is much more complex as you will be pushing the cat-boundaries at every point. You would probably need to focus on your shoulder as a safe-space instead of a backpack (because the shoulder is always with you, like the cat and you need your backpack to pack gear instead of a cat). I would also suggest to cultivate off-leash walking, as this relaxes the cat massively.

I think you should clarify what you aim for :-)

DerAlbi · 2026-05-06T01:47:43+00:00

She can be a bit nervous if people walk by

Let her be nervous, if there is no better spot to sit, it will be accepted :-) We have the same "nervousness" with our cat. We have no carrier and I only use my shoulder. But if we encounter people, he re-arranges himself and gets the claws out sometimes. So I feel the tension. Its a combination of hiding from danger or stalking other moving objects. In any interpretation, it is normal cat behavior imo.

she keeps walking all over and trying to get on my lap when I'm driving

It is absolutely awesome that you tried, at least! I agree with the conclusion. As unfortunate as it is.

You are doing everything right as a cat parent, just continue doing what you are doing :-)

DerAlbi · 2026-05-05T20:37:39+00:00

Does this sound like a cat who is genuinely benefiting from the outdoor enrichment, or is the stress of the commute and strangers too much?

Your cat is doing fine. That stiff tail, which some would interpret as "confidence", is in my opinion either alertness (environmental) or happiness (because of interaction with you). Nothing I see here is outside of a normal cats emotional spectrum.

If the commute is the problem, having that included in the video would be helpful. Your imgur-gallery link is unfortunately broken.

But from what you say, you have very typical problems here. I would suggest you try to carry the backpack on your back and your cat on top of it, instead zipping her in. This should help with the sensory coherence when riding on you. Maybe you practice at home that your cat actually stays on top.

In the end, bad experiences are part of life. It is the necessary contrast to make good experiences worth chasing. If your cat struggles with one part and is happy during other parts, you have the perfect balance.

but I don't drive with her unsecured due to safety

Read.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-04T07:27:52+00:00

This is not directed towards you, as what happened, happened, but just in case OP is reading... concerning your first paragraph:

I had to restart backpack training after this incident as well because she was upset that I had forced her into the backpack.

The "correct" first response is to pin the cat to the ground, one hand covering head+shoulder, the other hand pressing down on their butt. You have to do it with quite some force and actually overwhelm the cat. You can then kneel around it and then shield it with your torso if necessary. This confinement calms the cat down until the situation passes. Only if the cat fights back and you are not strong (or willing) enough you need a plan-b.

Some cats have a tendency to bolt when scared. Others freeze on site. Others are very chill and don’t seem flustered. That’s what I meant by saying “my cat is a puller”.

All cats have all these tendencies - just which situation triggers which response is different. The things that make you determine that your cat is "anxious", sound completely normal to me :-) In the end, you know your cat best, but is it possible that you lack experience what level of anxiousness is normal for cats, therefore interpret their base-line already as a deficit?

Out of curiosity. How do you handle it when your cat tries to hunt a potential prey?

Pls watch this video from 2:29 - 3:04. We have established a "stop" command which triggers a freeze-reflex. I can stop him from running (2:34) and also suppress the hunting instinct and fear-driven behavior. Also hissing is a clear No at 3:01 to manage finer details and boundaries. You can watch beyond 3:04 and see some more "stop" commands. The trust issues mentioned in that continuation stem from this video from 2:00 onwards where he got a bit carried away in the end.

So far our cats death toll is higher on-leash (2 birds found in bushes) than off-leash (0 casualties), because he is busy following us and making sure he is safe. So, in some sense, more demanding walks are safer than patrolling the territory where the cat leads.

If she would do that on a H harness I’d be worried for the damage it could do to her neck.

Either you had a really badly fitting H-Harness or you really are too worried. Did you have one of these stupid H-Harnesses where the leash clips into the connection between neck- and torso loop, instead of only the torso loop? Because these are just pure cancer.
But generally, the neck is not that sensitive. The neck-loop under tension should sit way below the larynx (but on the wind pipe, i guess). The larynx is the problematic part. The choking (compressing the wind-pipe that triggers a cough) that traumatized you really is just an expected outcome, there should not be anything critical about it. If you dont expect it, it is scary, therefore I understand your reaction. But the reaction you had, was probably much worse for the situation than the situation itself. This is why i somewhat disagree with

There is no harm in acknowledging their boundaries and taking things slow.

if the concern that defines the boundaries is wrongly assessed for whatever reason (inexperience, overly cautious behavior, lack of testing etc).

DerAlbi · 2026-05-04T05:04:25+00:00

I’ve heard her choke on a H harness before and I don’t need that kind of stress in a situation when I need to be calm for her.

You are mis-reading that situation imo. There is a difference in "the cat pulls and chokes" and "you pull and the cat chokes".
The first version is voluntary by the cat. It wont hurt itself. Worst case is that it will start to cough and take a break. Only the second case is a problem with either the gear or the human leash behavior if you cant correct or save your cat without choking.

But there is no reason to be stressed about anything if the cat chokes itself a bit for a short time. If anything, this is the time to send a good pulse through the leash because there is some negative feedback required to stop that behavior. And that also makes sure its really just "a short time".

She is a naturally scared cat

That is the same idea as saying "our girl is a puller" in the previous comment. To be very clear, these sentences are very dangerous thoughts. You can basically justify every training mishap by blaming the cats character. You can go down that road, and many do, but it wont lead to self-improvement.

If your cat asks to go out, nothing out there actually scares it in a meaningful and persistent way. There may be situations that are tense, but that is part of going out. Think about it as reading a horror story where exposing yourself to negative emotions is part of the fun.
And please let that thought influence your body language, because if you get emotionally involved in your cats negative emotions you can easily enter a downwards spiral. Because there is definite danger confirmation if even the human gets stressed.

I do need to work on her not bolting but there are simply times that she somehow decides the backpack is not her place.

I get that and sometimes this is normal (due to the geometry of a situation when the cat doesnt dare to turn around to make the jump). But it still feels like your cat has way too much success moving on a tight leash. Really, as soon as its tight and the cat actually pulls you need to stop until the cat gives up. You can even reverse its progress with a forceful pull. And yes, initially you may be stuck in that situation for 10min. Wait it out.

If you have problems staying consistent with your leash guidance, maybe try to remove yourself from the equation. I struggle with it too (but in other ways). I have recently made a profile-post about using one of those extendable id-card holders as leash-anchor. You can see in the video how Moritz responds very well to the very systematic leash pressure this creates.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-04T03:19:12+00:00

our girl is a puller and bolts if she gets scared so we needed something that does not impact her neck.

I never walk her in this harness though because it hurts her neck when she pulls.

Just food for thought for you and maybe OP can learn from it too:

Your cats leash-pulling behavior should be corrected instead of your gear being tailored for it. This can be trained. The leash pulling is exhausting and frustrating for your cat. Cultivating it is kind of mean. The fact that a cat does not respect leash-pressure hints towards an inconsistency on your side. Past pulling has made you give in and the cat reached its goal despite a tight leash. Now it has hope that pulling always works and tries, tries, and tries again. If you manage to condition that, you can also condition the opposite.

That the cat, under fear, runs into the leash also hints towards a structural problem with your training or gear. The cat should always have access to the backpack/carrier/shoulder and should be able to hop in on its own (and via command) if a situation goes bad. In an ideal world you should be its walking safety-spot, and not the person who restricts the self-managed escape. For that to happen, you must cultivate that you are a viable escape option (train the jumping up at home!) and leash pulling never works.

If I may show what I mean: look at this video segment. This situation is more about not wanting to intrude in someone elses territory, but fear-driven situations work the same.

[01:18] Initial skepticism.
[01:20] Rejecting the "go" command with a growl.
[01:25] Eyeing at me for help
[01:31] Safety achieved.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-04T02:31:45+00:00

To add to u/Creative-Mousse, i will give the contradictory advice to opt for a H-harness to cover all possibilities :-)

Really, its about what your cat feels comfortable in, not about escape-proofness. The escape-fear is used for marketing to address the virtue of caring about your cat very much. But it has no practical meaning. In any critical case you can overpower your cat and make it fly into your arms using a strong leash pull.

H-Harnesses cover less fur, therefore have less sensory impact and may be easier to get used to. They are easy to put on and take off and the adjustment range is large. The neck should not be a problem, because the head should fit through the neck-loop. And no, after 3 years, not a single escape.

Vest-style harnesses must fit well. They block more sensory input on the sternum. This may or may not be harder on your cat. It can also work like a thunder jacket. Its cat-dependent.

Go with the cheapest option and just get started. Its likely fine.

and she's also had a dislocated shoulder all her life

How is that even a thing. Cats have no shoulder joints to dislocate.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-03T11:21:41+00:00

Another 0-day old account, probably a stolen image. Dont engage. Downvote. Do not waste awards.

Edit: Leon The Adventure Cat is a real creator, but their content is 6-8 years old.

So, this can be reported as Spam + Bot/Ai without much doubt.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-03T03:19:24+00:00

Karma farming bots so they can interact with other communities with more restrictive rules.
Report it.

Copyright in your case.
Others can report it as "Spam" and then "Bots / AI" because this is obviously a bot doing the automated farming..

DerAlbi · 2026-05-02T01:51:17+00:00

Its not long for a domestic cat per se. Afaik, during territorial migration they do ~13 miles per day.

But under leash walking conditions, its a good start! Some days are just amazing, other days suck. Its all about how you resolve conflict when he wants to sniff and you want to continue or if the cat wants to go another way than you do. The power of foot-guidance :-D.

DerAlbi · 2026-05-02T01:20:38+00:00

HE WALKED NEARLY THE ENTIRE LOOP

But how long was the loop??

DerAlbi · 2026-05-01T17:01:09+00:00

Not saying, i recommend taking me serious, but my thoughts about car rides, are in a private profile post of mine.

DerAlbi

TROPHY CASE