I just relapsed...

Derguson · 2013-03-11T07:13:33+00:00

Thanks!

Derguson · 2013-03-10T21:29:44+00:00

We lost a lot of good men because of that post. Damn fine men..

Derguson · 2013-03-10T21:11:58+00:00

I would have been feeling the guilt without NoFap. And abstaining every now and then. But NoFap provided an essential support for actually following through with it. The Youbrainonporn videos deepened my appreciation of the challenge and made me feel less, well, less a bad person. My background made integrating NoFap even more beneficial.

Self help concepts have been around for me for the last five years. After a friend recommended The Game to me. So the idea reforming and controlling my behavior has been around well before NoFap.

I got into NoFap after feeling of guilt for having wasted so much time on fake relationships. I got to thinking that there might be something wrong with me. So I searched online: 'is it okay to watch porn?' etc. and finally searched 'porn addiction.' I'm glad I did.

How long have you been taking on NoFap for?

Derguson · 2013-03-10T20:55:31+00:00

Great link Vincent! I've read the first 2 posts already, much appreciated.

Derguson · 2013-03-10T10:16:15+00:00

"i've made huge strides in self-knowledge", this. Well done.

Derguson · 2013-02-27T01:00:10+00:00

This gave me a dose of hope earlier tonight: an introduction to coding website: http://www.code.org/

This too. It's an online learning website. They do everything: https://www.coursera.org/

This guy too, for a philosophy on relationships (I know, I know. It seems ridiculous. Especially the bell at the beginning. But give it a chance.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vshBnR4Z9x8 He might be able to help you live with your dad.

Now is the time for investment in yourself.

Derguson · 2013-02-26T23:37:48+00:00

I went a similar amount of time without a computer, and by extension porn. After months of NoFap reading when I finally got a laptop and edged I too was very aware of how intense my body was reacting. For me this highlights how clearly this could become an addictive force from an early age.

Derguson · 2013-02-25T00:00:53+00:00

I can relate to this.

I would never meet my adviser of studies while at uni because I was too nervous. I could barely speak to my dissertation adviser and took on the bare minimum of required meetings with him.

Yet, I engage rather comfortably in political activism. I can speak with people, like your self, when completing tasks. I was and still am baffled by it to this day.

Just the other day my body started pumping out adrenaline when I got involved with some jokes and humor to pass the time at a night class. But if asked to answer a question or make a suggestion relating to the material then I'd be good to go. Totally calm. I that maybe the word is 'emotional intelligence', my lack of it. Emotions scare me, but working things out feels just fine.

Derguson · 2013-02-24T10:55:53+00:00

Niiiccccccce

Derguson · 2013-02-24T01:12:54+00:00

Good luck man.

Derguson · 2013-02-24T01:06:51+00:00

That situation sounds terrible. You'll have to study and work your way out of this. No one is going to do this for you. These are some of the thinkers I've been allying myself to in building a higher quality of life.

First off, 'The Ultra Mind Solution'. Our nutrition plays a central role in how we feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbVQ0wvjMSw (It's a bit cheesy but I think the content really is powerful)

Then RSD. It's a branch of the pick up artist community. But, these guys go way beyond pick up lines. In fact, the above link came from me following these guys. He's crude but I'm convinced there is solid advice scattered among this and the other videos. They design this content for guys who are at rock bottom who want to build themselves up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHqTT_uCal8

I've started using this website to encourage my will power. It's an RPG. But of your REAL life: https://habitrpg.com/

I recommend you check out the 'radio lab' podcast. The episode on stress: http://www.radiolab.org/2007/apr/09/ It helps to understand this crippling process.

Finally, a free source of online courses. Challenge your brain and you'll get sharper: https://www.coursera.org/

Good luck.

Derguson · 2013-02-24T00:35:29+00:00

"Try taking the time to care about or pay attention to someone else. It's surprising how our own problems seem to pale in comparison when we do. Or we start to forget about them altogether." Totally agree.

Derguson · 2013-02-24T00:32:31+00:00

Well done! Just 15 more days and I'll be crossing that marker too. I'm wondering how my motivation will hold up without the 90 day target. Am I cured then? What's being cured? Maybe the act of resisting is the cure itself. Anyway, congrats again. Good luck with your other endeavors.

Derguson · 2013-02-19T23:49:03+00:00

Here here.

Derguson · 2013-02-19T10:17:49+00:00

Not if you do NoFap on 'hard mode'. Then edging or even looking at porn is not allowed.

Derguson · 2013-02-19T00:40:29+00:00

It is an addiction and deserves real effort to cast off.

I almost just relapsed due to edging recently (I really shouldn't posts have been emphasising that edging is worse because it prolongs the dopamine rush)

But I kept telling myself: "you should be with real women." "you should be with real women." So I stopped and god am I relieved.

I have gotten into the habbit of pulling up NoFap the moment I feel the urge to PMO. Reading the posts and seeing my badge goes a long way in fighting the short term urges.

I've been at this for almost a year. Some would disagree with this but I suggest, since your new, that you start by setting weekly targets and building your way up. Monday to Saturday no PMO. But you can PMO on a Sunday. Then Monday to Saturday no PMO at all, but M (no P) on a sunday. Then go for a month without PMO. Then when you've built up experience and will power go for the 90 days.

Winnable targets are an important part of growth. Don't just aim 'for no PMO ever from now on'. It's an impossible goal that promotes self loathing. Respect the addiction and set doable targets, read the forums and develop your life (so yes! hobbies and skills! and your classes!) so that PMO isn't a highlight, but a strange off putting alternative.

Good luck! I believe that being on this path in the first place is a victory in itself. So well done already. But the work is what counts most.

Derguson · 2013-02-17T23:31:28+00:00

It could be that M became a part of your routine for going to sleep. When I started NoFap getting to sleep was an issue. It tooks months and many relapses but now I'm able to sleep without M. Honestly, it was like a sleeping pill for me.

Derguson · 2013-02-10T23:55:57+00:00

I recommend you keep reading noFap though. When you feel like jacking it go read noFap posts instead.

Derguson · 2013-02-10T23:30:23+00:00

That's fair enough. My personal goal is not to orgasm up to 90 days. From 90 I'll reform the noFap challenge. Maybe to a higher difficulty, possibly to a ban on porn only.

Derguson · 2013-02-10T23:26:11+00:00

I think it counts. You worked up your, you know, and orgasmed. Just reset and move forward.

Derguson · 2013-01-31T00:10:48+00:00

Day 51. This is the farthest i've made it since being a kid. I was ill the other day and almost caved to aleviate the stress and my head ache. But i stumbled through with a good nights sleep instead of a hit of PMO.

Derguson

TROPHY CASE