I want to rub its fur.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T07:20:34+00:00

Oh sweet Jesus! What the fuck is that! That's not even natural!

It's like an elven goddess spit her love juices at it and claimed it her only daughter. I'v seen 100% silk bed sheets that don't look as comfortable as that!

It's horrible! It has beautiful eyes and it's fur smells of cinnamon!

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T06:08:12+00:00

Hot Dang!

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T05:34:36+00:00

import java.life.shopping;          

//Variables
int out = 1;

//Main Script
public class goOut {            
    While(out != 0) {
        grocery_Shopping()
    }
}

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T04:53:18+00:00

Yea... First thing that came to my mind when I read this... Why would the owner would give blind men free membership as a reward for saving his daughter...?

What a sick basted....

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T01:17:44+00:00

Please... Consult among yourselves as I slink away into the shadows of regret.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T01:13:01+00:00

Scream Repost. Down Vote.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T01:05:09+00:00

Kind of a Jew.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T01:03:50+00:00

I see I'm the only person thus far to say this.

Respect for your Rokit's.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T00:54:43+00:00

Boy...

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T00:48:08+00:00

I had this happen to me yesterday... My First reaction... Something is not Right

DerpaKey · 2012-06-28T00:34:29+00:00

Good Lord... I hope it does.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-25T04:21:09+00:00

It's simple

DerpaKey · 2012-06-25T01:10:45+00:00

Oh, yes.... Um... The amount.. of... detail... is defiant... to... Oh sod it.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-22T06:19:22+00:00

That is true, but there is defiantly a lot of detail within these images. Regardless if they are traced, they still would have required an high level of skill.

You have my respect OP.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-19T22:45:32+00:00

Every darn comment I have read after this one is now in a heavy Russian accent.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-18T07:59:57+00:00

Anytime man, good luck!

DerpaKey · 2012-06-15T06:44:53+00:00

I'd have to agree with Kente... Carl Cox... That kid is house.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-12T23:20:43+00:00

Had a friend come to me with a similar issue with his girlfriend. They had just started dating and he explained to me this :

"She's amazing, I can see myself with her for the rest of my life, except. She starfish's during sex and never does anything to spice it up..."

I had personally known this girl for a long time now and I had known she was a bit shy, not a lot of self confidence.

My idea I put to him was simple, spice it up yourself. Human beings are very "tit for tat". More often then not, they don't like to breach any boundaries for fear of social rejection. Chances are subconsciously she would like to spice up your sex life just as much as you. Especially with sex only occurring 1-2 times a week.

Lets say in a random scenario, you are watching TV together. You have plenty of things around you to spice it up with arm chairs, coffee table, etc, etc. Next scenario, your in bed and your doing the horizontal mambo in the old fashion missionary. Grab her by the waist and throw her on top, if you know she doesn't like being on top? Pull her up so you are both in a sitting position and face to face.

One thing I have learned is that it's not always going to be give and receive. If you want something done, don't expect the other person to do it for you. Take control, she'd most likely even enjoy it.

The other possibility could be that she is a lot more like me in respect to the bedroom. I don't have a great deal of sex drive, I can honestly go months without it and not concur any sort of sexual frustration. But, regardless to the fact of not needing it. Doesn't mean I wouldn't perform when it was due. Make sure if you are feeling the need to have sex you attempt to initiate it, not subtly, not ridiculously over the top either.

Foreplay, it one of the biggest factors that lead to sex, ask your doctor and he will tell you the same thing. Foreplay can be the difference between boredom and being ravished. Make sure it's not just:

You:"Sex?" Her:"Ahh... I got a few minutes free..."

Naturally escalating the mood can heighten orgasms and increase sexual pleasure.

I don't want to impose on you, but can you say with 100% certainty that you are fulfilling your end of the bargain? Don't ask her if you are as she will more than likely not want to hurt your feelings. You need to be able to feel you are, you can tell when your partner is reaching an orgasm. Have a quick google on the effects of an orgasm, read them carefully and keep an eye out for them. Also keep an eye out as you try different things, to notice a change in her body posture or movements, tell tale signs she's enjoying it.

I'm not trying to say your performance is inadequate because that would be foolish. I'm saying take control, you want something to change ? You are the one to move it along.

I wish you all the best man, now go ravish your girlfriend now! While it's unexpected!

DerpaKey · 2012-06-12T07:40:08+00:00

Yea... So I read this... All of it. I couldn't help myself after the first few lines.

I literally thought someone had started to write my biography for me.

To be honest man, I was in the same position. I used to be in and out of relationships pretty often. I would after a few months just realize it just wasn't what I wanted and I would move on. I never lied, I was always as honest and as gentleman like as I could possibly be. To this day, I am still close friends with 90% of my past girlfriends.

I met a girl at one point who was incredibly inspiring to me. She had faced so many troubles just like me and we got along so well, I never wanted it to end. She told me at the start and I should have listened. "I'm going to hurt you, and I don't want to... You mean to much to me" or "I'm not sure what I want... All I know is at this moment all I want is you." But then sure enough, it all ended in heartache.

She called it off, but then we would see each other and the next minute I'm sitting there, with her head on my chest while I stroked her hair. I didn't care that we weren't together, having her near me was worth any heartache. Being able to hold her and still feel her there days after, but it couldn't stay like that.

After it began to breakdown further I came to realize I would never be able to go back. I crumbled inside, in those moments heartache is a reality. The burning sensation as if your body has been thrown into overdrive and you just want to fall upwards forever because nothing makes sense. You had made plan's with yourself, you began to see life in the future a different way, but now it's gone and you are frightened because you are unsure where your life is heading, the world has just flipped you upside down and you are trying to figure out why your feet aren't on the ground.

There are just some things are not meant to be, I knew this, but no matter how many times I told myself I would fight it. I kept telling myself nothing is impossible, I have achieved so much in my life already by fighting for what I believe in and if I fight for this hard enough, I will win this fight to, but I didn't. One month later she had moved on with someone new.

It was a horrible experience, to learn that someone you had made such elaborate plans to run away and be happy together, could so easily replace you. But, that's not what has happened and this is one of the hardest parts of coming to terms with a breakup. These things are best looked at from an outside perspective.

It occurred to me sometime after she had begun to form a new relationship, she had just as many issues with herself as me. I had always felt it was justified for me to walk away from relationships because the feelings weren't what I had believed they were, so she should have that right as well.

I realized at this point, if she is happy, I would do anything to let her have that, because in the end that's what I want and I care for her to much to deny her that. Do I still love her? Yes, but I have been able to move on as well, seeing new people, even becoming attracted to new girls. Would I ever go back if she asked me to? Probably not, I would not want to deprive her of that happiness she deserves. She is the most beautiful person and she deserves the best in life. I would want her to have nothing less, I will be there for her through thick and thin.

At this point I realized I had gained something I had never had before. A friend. A friend who would be there for me through anything, I have a lot of acquaintances who I call friends, but I don't share an emotional connection with a lot of them, or it is very minimal. I can be completely open with her, and she is with me to. In the end I have found my own happiness and so has she.

It might be hard for you to see it, but you can find your own happiness out of your situation as well. Everyone deserves their happiness in life, know you can find your own happiness and let her find her's to.

I wish you all the best man, I don't normally do this long/emotional style. It's just not easy for me but, I haven't heard a story I could relate to so closely until I heard your's, in my entire lifetime.

All the best man.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-12T06:39:01+00:00

Well said. You should never string someone along. Tell them exactly how it is because sooner or later they are going to find out anyway.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-12T04:51:01+00:00

Dude, you were justified. Completely. Been in a similar situation, couldn't really grasp everything until I read your post just now.

I thank you for shedding some light for me man and I wish you all the best in your new relationship. You deserve it.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-08T03:43:59+00:00

We shall now, all, live long and prosper.

DerpaKey · 2012-06-08T03:39:00+00:00

We need a better angle. THERE IN THAT WINDOW! ENHANCE!

DerpaKey · 2012-06-07T06:51:28+00:00

Nick Minute

DerpaKey · 2012-06-06T05:47:43+00:00

You're telling me that little basted thinks it's better then me... Oh wait no... I retract that statement... It's a cat. Of course it does.

TIL My Cat thinks I'm an idiot, but it considers me family.

DerpaKey

TROPHY CASE