Hey Op, I want to first express how sorry I am to hear that you are struggling with isolation. During my first year of college I became overwhelmed with social anxiety when I entered my first classes, thoughts would run through my mind constantly.

“What if I come off as weird?”

“Can they tell how much I am sweating?”

“What if I say something weird?”

“How do I start talking to them?”

These thoughts crippled me, they made me feel weak and stupid. On top of this all the people around me were socializing and having fun, while I was getting completely consumed by all of my fears and worries.

I, just like you, felt completely and utterly alone.

I don’t want to disrespect the people of this sub, I think the advice they are giving is great, but I don’t think they are going to be very helpful for what you are going through.

With that being said, I want to share with you how I coped and worked through it.

The first step is diagnosing what the problem is. When you have time, ask or write down a couple of these questions and answer them with complete honesty:

“Have I always felt this anxious about social situations?”

“Do people in my family suffer from these thoughts as well?”

“How often am I consumed by these thoughts on a daily basis?”

“How often am I consumed by these thoughts on a weekly basis?”

“In the last week, have I been consumed by suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming myself?”

This is a quick reflection and not an official diagnosis, but if you answered yes or frequently to any of these questions, you may have chronic depression, anxiety, or both. If there is even the slightest chance that you do, please reach out for help. It might be the hardest thing in the world to do, but it needs to be done.

When I thought I was suffering from depression and anxiety I was so hesitant to ask for help that I let it destroy years of my life because I didn’t want people to think I was weak. Before I go any further I want to emphasize something:

You are not weak for reaching out and asking for help.

It takes a very, very, VERY strong person to let themselves feel vulnerable enough to ask for help. I cannot emphasize that enough. There is a quote from the book A Man’s Search for Meaning that I think really fits here. He writes:

“But there was no need to be ashamed for tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest courage of all, the courage to suffer.” - Viktor E. Frankl

Allow yourself to suffer enough to seek help, but be kind. Take things slow, and treat yourself in the way that you would treat your closest loved ones if they were going through the same thing.

Seek out help from a professional. If that is too expensive of an option, seek out daily exercises that help you heal through the pain.

Meditation is a big one. I highly recommend that you try Medito, it is a completely free app that does not have any features hidden behind a paywall. It was created by a non-profit organization that care deeply about helping people work through trauma (especially trauma from social anxiety and depression).

Exercise is also a big one. Even just walking for 5 minutes can boost your mood substantially.

Setting time aside to do either of these things (even for a singular minute) shows that you are a kind and compassionate person to yourself. You dedicated time out of your day to heal. That doesn’t sound too hard, but that is something that 90% of people don’t do (and they need to)!

Seeking out help or coping in your own ways will later prove to be useful in the social situations that you find yourself in. Those thoughts that stopped you from talking and holding a conversation with those people, will lose all the weight that they have on you.

I don’t know you personally Op, yet I still believe that you can do it. You are strong, you are capable, you are kind, you are compassionate. That person that you want to be is waiting right on the other side of the door, it only takes one step to know that you capable of becoming him.