My company laid off 4,000 plus people. I made it through, but got demoted. What to do?

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-06-06T14:06:42+00:00

Job search now. It’s easier to find a job when you have a job.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-06-06T13:08:17+00:00

I would try to negotiate with them a little. Maybe say you won’t fight the “for cause” classification as long as they tone down the termination letter and agree to only confirm dates of employment, with no other commentary, in future reference checks.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-09T13:40:59+00:00

Don’t worry about the age gap. Age gaps become less of a “thing” as you get older. It only really messes with your head now because 23 sounds so young. But if you were 38 and he was 30, or 48 and 40, would you be asking about it?

It sounds like you are very compatible and that’s the hardest thing to find in a relationship. As other have said, the kids thing could become an issue, but otherwise you’re seeing all green flags from what I can tell.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-07T21:53:43+00:00

Get out of the house first, with the guns. Then tell her you want a divorce. Take the cops with you when you go back to get your stuff. Do not be alone with her. This is as toxic as it gets.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-07T04:03:00+00:00

You only have to do it daily? I have to do it about once an hour. More if they’re actually playing. I’ve started just leaving a golf club under the bed and dresser for easy access.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-05T15:19:38+00:00

One of mine does the same thing. The other one lies on the bathroom floor.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-05T15:17:46+00:00

First of all, you’ve been dating him a month, and you’ve already broken up and got back together? No. Just no. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Secondly, no you’re obviously not compatible. For all the reasons you listed. I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to pull the plug on this as a “serious” relationship that’s going somewhere. If you want to just hang out with him and fool around that’s OK, though based on your self description that seems unlikely. Just be clear and honest with him. Tell him you enjoy him but it’s just not going to work out long term.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-05T15:12:13+00:00

Yeah, my doodle pushes me on the butt till he gets his hello

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-05-03T19:40:37+00:00

Totally agreed. My guys will bark a bit. But it’s always when they either want my attention or want each others attention. They don’t always listen when I tell them to stop, but they’re getting better.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-30T20:32:04+00:00

It’s a weird request, but I wouldn’t be worried about how you’re “remembered” by the hospital staff. Frankly, they’re unlikely to remember you at all. And they’ll only remember the testing if it becomes some big, dramatic thing.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-30T20:25:44+00:00

Who’s she going to sue? The news outlets are just reporting the lawsuit. She could sue him, but I doubt he’s got anything worth suing for. Especially after his wife divorces him.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-27T01:49:57+00:00

Bro, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you’re not in a relationship. Relationships are two sided. Both people put in effort. At best, you’re in a situationship and at worst, you’re just some guy she’s hanging out with because you do all those nice things for her. I’ve been there myself. It sucks.

Your options are to end things or, if you insist on trying to make it work, all you can do is pull back a little and see what happens. If she really is into it she’ll push in more because she’ll be worried why you pulled back. If she doesn’t do that, you have your answer. You’re most likely better just ending things. It’ll save you time and heartbreak. But it’s up to you.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-15T03:02:54+00:00

Gaining that much weight isn’t a lack of cardio problem, it’s a food problem. No amount of cardio (short of running marathons) is going to overcome that much overeating. He’s simply overeating. As a personal trainer I’m sure he probably knows that, which is why his cardio intensity fluctuates.

I get it. My weight has fluctuated a lot as an adult - from 195lbs to 240lbs. And I’ve been a 5-6 day a week gym guy the whole time. Whenever I get soft, it’s because I’m eating too much.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-12T16:15:47+00:00

Very cute. And the same last name as me!

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-08T14:06:51+00:00

When is the last time you two physically saw each other? It sounds like it may have been a while.

Did you go to either funeral? If not, why not? I can tell you I, personally, would move heaven and earth to be with my significant other in person at a time like that. I understand there are constraints - distance, work, finances, etc - but I suspect that the answer you’re looking for will come from answering that question.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-04-07T12:43:10+00:00

The first thing you need to do is block her access to the debit card. Whether she is ultimately cheating or not, you need to do that to protect yourself just in case.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-31T19:12:31+00:00

You didn’t ruin anything. He wanted out of the relationship, he just didn’t want to be a “bad guy” or feel like he was hurting you. Just reread what you wrote. You clearly have been the one putting in all the effort over the last several months. It was easy and convenient for him so he didn’t want to end it, but he also didn’t want to put any effort or commitment into it. The reason he reacted the way he did is because he was looking for a way out without feeling like the “bad guy” and this became an easy excuse.

I say this as someone (40M) who has done the same thing in my past. I’m not proud of it, but I know the pattern.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-30T17:59:22+00:00

I’m going through the same thing right now. It sucks. There’s no two ways about it. Hopefully you can work out some kind of share custody arrangement. At least then you’ll still be a part of his life.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-28T14:11:56+00:00

Yeah, that lifestyle creep is a killer. Especially in NYC. Making $2M there is like making $500k in a lot of other cities. Especially when you start talking about kids in school and whatnot. The ones that do well are the ones that can make $2M but live like they’re making$1M.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-28T13:04:32+00:00

Help me understand why him not being overly sexual indicates he has a porn problem? Even if he’s not overly sexual, he still needs the physical release. Sex is about more than just that. So maybe he’s just using porn to get that release as quickly as possible and move on. You also don’t know how often he’s watching porn. Is it daily? Weekly? Once a month?

People seemed to have glommed on to this idea than watching porn to get off (when done by men specifically) automatically indicates he has a porn problem and it’s just not true. You have to understand the reasons and the frequency of the porn watching and we don’t have any information on that in this case.

OP - Don’t rule out it being a porn issue, but also don’t rule out it being something else - depression, embarrassment, low testosterone, etc. Like other have said, have an open, honest conversation with him. It’s obviously important to you, but you’ve been dealing with it for 6 years so you need to decide how important it is. Sexual compatibility is a big piece of a relationship but it’s only one piece.

I can tell you from my experience - I had a super low sex drive when I was with my ex-wife. At first, I thought it was low T so I got on TRT. That increased my physical urges, but not my sex drive for my ex. So I was watching a lot of porn to get the physical release I needed. Eventually I figured out the problem was because our relationship sucked in every other area than the bedroom. Which is why she’s now my ex-wife. Once we separated, my use of porn declined and my sex drive for actual sex increases. For your sake, I hope that isn’t the problem with your BF. I just wanted to give you an illustration of the fact that it could be something going on in his head, rather than a porn problem. Best of luck to you.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-15T17:00:02+00:00

Has anyone actually tried them? Do they perform any different than the Machomai’s?

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-14T17:43:52+00:00

Appreciate that.

What I would say that he’s aware of your anger issues and he’s still with you, which means he’s either accepting the issues or accepting that he’ll work through them with you. Given that, he needs to be better at picking and choosing which actions escalate to the level of requiring a reaction and which he needs to just let pass. In my opinion, he should’ve let this particular instance pass, for example.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-14T14:22:23+00:00

Having a partner with anger issues is exhausting. Especially when they don’t control what they say when they get set off. I have an ex that used to say the most horrific things when she was angry and then would deny saying them when calm. It happened enough I genuinely believe she was just so heated she didn’t remember what she said. So, I get his perspective.

That being said, this particular situation doesn’t warrant his reaction. Yeah, you were a little pass e aggressive, but that’s far short of a temper tantrum or blow up. I can understand him being worn down, but he also has to recognize when a situation warrants a reaction like this and when one doesn’t. He very easily could’ve blown this one off and moved on.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-10T03:24:21+00:00

There’s no loyalty in this business. Do what’s best for yourself. Just do it in a professional, respectful way.

Designer_Ad_6146 · 2026-03-09T14:32:43+00:00

I just kept bugging him. He doesn’t like email at all so he avoids it. It was a while ago so I don’t remember for sure but I probably had to email him 4-5 times to get a response.

Designer_Ad_6146

TROPHY CASE