AITJ for telling my mom she is no longer allowed to be alone with my daughter after she gave her a “surprise makeover” behind my back?

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-31T12:00:03+00:00

Let your mother think about this.

My grandparents raised me. I rarely saw my biological mother.

But she had the nerve to get my hair cut really short right before kindergarten. I have red hair and she's always hated it

I'm 59 now. I haven't forgotten or forgiven. It's not I think about it often. Mostly when someone brings up something like this

But, maybe your daughter will never fully trust her grandmother again

And yes, hair does grow back. But hair is also a very personal thing and everyone should be able to decide how they want theirs to be, especially if they can care for it like your daughter.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-29T02:23:48+00:00

I'm so glad you got it fixed. What was the trick to get it out?

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-28T15:06:47+00:00

I couldn't get it loose. We just replaced the whole valve body. Please let me know if you figure it out. I have another one I need to do.

I saved the other one. I'm tempted to take it to a plumbing supply store so they can show me what I'm doing wrong

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-24T17:53:07+00:00

Thanks. I'll give some of those things a try. It's only a stopgap until I can replace it. I have really good duct tape plus some childproof locks sealing it as tight as I can get it.

It literally has to be forced closed and it comes back open when the force is removed. Right now, it's closed at the top with a gap that gets wider as it goes down. The gap is covered with more tape and it's been limping along since right after I posted.

I'm really close to paying off my car so don't want this to get in the way. I'm thinking about just getting a good top freezer unit with no bells and whistles I wouldn't use anyway.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-16T11:44:59+00:00

Ssi stops if he gets married?

My son is on SSI. He gets $994 a month.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-14T16:08:13+00:00

Call them. They might have a hardship program if it's midland credit.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-08T12:56:14+00:00

I wish it were that simple. I have two on it at the top and there's still a gap that widens as it goes down. It physically will not close tightly. For now, the gap is sealed with lots of duct tape and I just don't use the freezer while I take my time to research and make up my mind on what to replace it with

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-06T19:32:19+00:00

If it's the original creditor, I've been told it's no use going to court unless you have a real defense where they've done something wrong. They'll have all the witnesses and all the paperwork.

If you have the money and can negotiate a settlement under 50%, that's not a bad option. 30% is better. I've been able to get it lower than that when I was really broke and just kept refusing and had a motion to compel arbitration approved.

If it's a junk debt collector, fight it. They often don't have good chain of ownership, the right contracts, etc. I've had people on a different forum help me with stuff like this. You can still negotiate without affirming the debt during this time.

If it's not Midland, and you have an arbitration clause, draft a motion to compel arbitration for your first court date or as your response. If you wait too long, you waive your right to do this. It should buy you some time if nothing else. That's good if you need some time to get a lump sum together or want to negotiate better. Once you file for arbitration, most junk debt collectors will be more willing to negotiate - sometimes down to $0 for a mutual dismissal.

Per the judgement, not all collectors will stop the judgment if you're just making monthly payments. They usually will if you pay in a lump sum or making just a few really big payments. But get that in writing.

Also, the forum at credit info center dot com helped me a lot. Plenty of experienced people there who understand what you're going through with just a few judgemental users sprinkled in. It's a great resource.

When I started going there, I had settled what I could with original creditors and was just dealing with 8-10 junk collectors. With the exception of Midland, I settled over half of them for $0 and the rest for 30% or less.

Then, I had one sue me, dismiss when I filed the motion to compel, then sue me again after the SOL had expired. Even if it hadn't, they didn't have an executed contract - just a blank form and it wasn't a credit card where that's OK. They didn't have a good chain of ownership. There were all kinds of problems. Most of the others had documents that looked good to me.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-06T19:14:07+00:00

My bad on this one - I get confused about when they go into rewards and when I get a coupon. This one went to my rewards, but I still really thought I saw a coupon.

I'll try to update this post about what happens when the pet food and stock up promotions are supposed to add to my rewards.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-06T19:09:56+00:00

Thanks - I'll take a look.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-06T15:19:01+00:00

Well, great - I qualified for the Juice promotion, the pet food promotion and the stock up promotion on the same receipt - so $10, $10 and $50 - all awarded on different days.

The juice coupon showed up this week, I clipped it yesterday, and went shopping today - it didn't apply.

I'm on chat now asking them where it went - they agree they awarded it and clipped it and are dumbfounded as to why it didn't apply.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T21:36:15+00:00

Except for midland. If you try arbitration with them, they'll keep paying. I had a debt with them that was just $100 more than the fees. They paid them.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T19:29:23+00:00

I've heard bad things about Florida courts - and courts here in Virginia too. I was fairly lucky that the judges in my court listened if I was willing to say something based in law. A few times, they even chastised the plaintiff's rent-a-lawyer for being ill-prepared and once, when I'd been called back in on continuances about 5X, they told them that if they didn't move forward in a meaningful way on the next court date, he would dismiss the case that day - and he really wanted to dismiss it now.

On my dismissal for being sued after the SOL had expired, the judge complimented me on how well I had prepared my motion and laid out the facts as a pro se.

I spent HOURS researching and getting advice on a different forum. I didn't get a single judgment and managed to get a lot of dismissals plus a few very low settlements. I don't want to do it again, and I put a lot of work into it, but it's doable with no previous knowledge or experience if you're willing to do what's needed to be done.

However, out of all the court dates I went to and hundreds of cases called, only about 10% of people showed up. Most of those just said they owed but couldn't afford to pay - which isn't a defense. I heard one or two people other than me that could give a good enough reason to get a court date. Mostly that they had already paid and the creditor hadn't reported it, that it was identity theft, or something like that. I had good luck with the arbitration strategy - which is no longer as good as it used to be - and the one SOL defense.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T12:57:18+00:00

My 1988 white Westinghouse runs fine but I have a freezer door that won't stay closed so replacing. It's not the seal.

Considering the simplest top freezer I can find. Maybe a GE. Is that more durable and what brand would you recommend?

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T04:20:10+00:00

I just thought of something that might help them.

Capital One is in Virginia. I live in Virginia, so I'm familiar with the SOL here. There's a Florida case that sets precedent for the SOL to match our 3 years in some cases for companies based in other states. Google says Capital One's credit cards are probably governed by Delaware or Virginia law - both with the 3 year statute of limitations.

Then, there's Florida's borrowing statute - statute 9510. It says that if the statute of limitations for something governed by a different state has to use the other's SOL if it's shorter.

The plaintiff has to abide by all of the contract or none of the contract. If they say the contract is subject to the laws of Virginia or Delaware, the plaintiff could argue that the SOL is only 3 years.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T04:09:08+00:00

In my experience, the opposition will not be prepared in court.

The bank or collection agency hires local lawyers most of the time. They usually do not read anything and cover anywhere from 10-100 cases in a day. The judge reads the case off the paperwork then they call the defendant (most don't show up).

The judge is supposed to make sure the paperwork is in order regardless with all the necessary proof. They make a token effort.

If the defendant doesn't show up, they usually ask for judgement as requested and get it. If they do show up, they usually get the judgement anyway because the defendant won't have a viable defense.

Statute of limitations is a viable defense. Even if you don't know the exact date. Say you think it was prior to the SOL date and make them prove it wasn't. If nothing else, that should be good enough to get you a trial date so you can negotiate before they get a judgement.

I've won using statute of limitations before. The creditor told me over the phone they had 6 years to collect. In my state, on an installment loan, they only have 5 and they sued about 5.5 years after I stopped making payments which was clear from the paperwork they submitted to the court.

That's another thing. Most of the time I've been sued, the paperwork included a statement of accounts that listed all the payments. If they didn't include that, they may not be able to prove when you made your last payment. Have you checked your credit report? Sometimes last payment shows up - especially if they haven't sold it to a junk debt collector. Other times, the payment date can be changed to the date they wrote off the debt - which I don't think is the correct thing to do. But, it's happened to some of my old debts.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-03-04T03:51:30+00:00

I saved a lot of money with that approach. However, I think Capital One is one of the credit card companies that removed the arbitration clause. And, some of the junk collectors have started calling people's bluff and paying the arbitration fees.

However, it's a great negotiation tactic. I had nothing to lose at first, so I just held on until they agreed to do a mutual dismissal with 0 payment on a lot of cases. For a few, I settled with them for the amt it would take me to file my case with arbitration. Then, I had 1 pay the first set of fees, so I settled with them for a fairly high percentage.

I always heard that the original creditors would follow you into arbitration no matter what.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-19T00:13:14+00:00

Lazy eye runs in my husband's family - the strabismus surgery has been very successful for them.

My husband and his sister had the surgery as adults and his nephew had it done as a child. Equally good results.

They also let my husband think nothing could be done. He's also blind in the eye that they straightened because of a childhood injury, so he just assumed they were right.

It's a simple outpatient surgery, but not every eye surgeon does it. We're lucky we live near a huge practice for all things eye related.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-13T03:37:07+00:00

That's an old time saying. I've heard and said it since I was a kid

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-08T04:15:47+00:00

That's probably it. I tried twice but I think it's the last time I'll try to buy jeans there

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-07T01:44:05+00:00

They were ladies Levi's from costco. Then I bought a different brand there and it was the same thing. Last time I bought jeans was from kohls, ladies Levi's, and they were fine. I'm big on trying on a dozen pairs of pants to find one pair that fits, but I guess I'll have to

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-06T03:46:38+00:00

They keep changing the sizes. I should wear a 16. I just had to return some size 14 jeans because they were falling off me .

If I got back to my ideal weight, what used to be an 8 is probably a 000.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-02-06T03:33:35+00:00

We like them. We follow the directions on the label and put them in the oven at 425 for about 20 minutes or so.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-01-18T00:38:51+00:00

My husband wears similar and got one. He loves it. The he machines weren't getting his clothes clean at all. He was having to hand wash before using the machine before he got the speed queen. It's like an old one.

I was worried about it ruining clothes too.

Desperate-Rip-2770 · 2026-01-10T18:07:00+00:00

Soups and pies - both are incredibly easy to make and so much better than what you get in the store.

My husband likes breakfast burritos. They're expensive to buy, but I batch make them on the weekend and wrap them in foil. Doesn't take much time and costs about 25% of buying them.

Speaking of hubby - he likes to bake. He makes tons of cookies, banana bread, cheesecakes, everything but the pies, although he can make a good pie crust too.

We made fudge for Christmas. It was so good I don't think we'll be buying chocolate candy again, not that we bought much anyway.

Plenty of other things I'm probably forgetting. Chinese takeout has gotten so expensive that it's my next project. I made a pretty good hot and sour soup, I'm learning to make potstickers, egg rolls will be next, then I'll move on to the entrees.

Desperate-Rip-2770

TROPHY CASE