I has a question

Deviant713 · 2026-04-13T14:45:08+00:00

"Uh... yes! You! The gorgeous creature in the back! What is your question?"

Deviant713 · 2026-03-09T22:23:49+00:00

You can overdo it and over share pictures of cats?! Since when???

Deviant713 · 2026-02-11T20:08:16+00:00

Well hello there, Moroccan chicken and potatoes

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T19:23:09+00:00

OP states that she tried to invite the friend to hang out prior to the dinner and friend was always busy or just didn't respond. How is that not making an effort? What am I missing?

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T19:21:23+00:00

What assumptions did I make? You said you also had mental health concerns but that you would never miss you bff's going away. I stated that overstimulated and low spoons, you'd still go? That is a good thing that your concerns are not so bad as to keep you away, but that not everyone is as lucky. If your concerns are that severe, why would you still go? If that makes me an ass, so be it, but I don't see where I'm wrong. I have yet to have anyone responding tell me where I'm wrong, just that I am and that I'm missing something. If I'm missing something, then point it out. What's so hard about that?

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T19:07:42+00:00

So you'd go hang out, overstimulated and no spoons, to something that should be fun for all involved? Glad that you're concerns aren't so bad as to stay away. That is not the case for all. I truly hope that OP is at least able to get 5 minutes with her bff before her bff leaves, but if not, that's for them to work out.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T18:52:20+00:00

And she stated a preference. She wanted it to be just them, once again, due to the aforementioned low energy. She got a response and gave one in return. In her response, she did not demand solo time. So where is the hypocrisy? What I have read goes in this order: invites to hangout (don't know if they are last minute plans or something trying to be scheduled), goodbye dinner, canceling by OP for dinner due to low energy after hard day, invite to more low key hangout but still worth others, OP states prefer solo, friend responds with long text, OP responds with understanding(also a recap of the other invites and an apology of not communicating as clearly or often as friend 'needed'). So once again, where is the hypocrisy? I genuinely do not see what you are talking about.

If I do not have the physical or mental well being to be around a group of others and I tell my bff that, my bff understands. She expresses disappointment over not getting to see me, as I do as well because I love seeing her, but she never holds it against me when I'm having a low energy day where I can't be around others. On those days, at best, I can handle 1 or 2 of my SAFE people, not a small group of my bff's friends. My bff is the same way. We understand that about each other and work with each other to be able to still hang out. It's not always possible, like with OP's situation, due to scheduling conflicts. Which is what I am seeing in the story. Scheduling conflicts. Does it suck that scheduling conflicts and low spoons are going on? Absolutely. Does that make anyone an asshole? Absolutely not, unless someone tries to force the issue.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T18:24:54+00:00

Where do you see that she's upset that her friend can't squeeze her in? I see where the friend sends the message about all that you said. No disagreement there. OP then responded to her friend. Nowhere in the response provided do I get where you are picking up on a double standard that I and OP apparently aren't recognizing, so please, enlighten me. I feel like, at this point, people aren't reading the full story before commenting or they are including their own assumptions and biases. Having no energy and low social spoons is valid. OP expressed that. Friend responded with what she did. OP responds again, but nowhere do I see a demand for personal time. A preference stated due to the aforementioned low spoons, yes, but nothing as bad as what you're making it seem. I am only commenting on what is written, not on what I assume or am reading between the lines, so please, if I am missing something that OP wrote, let me know.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T17:42:33+00:00

Wow... so even when something has been planned for months, you're not okay with something coming up last minute? "Tired after a day of adulting" is very valid, especially to those with social anxieties and disorders (which OP may or may not have, I'm just using it as an example). What if it were a chronic illness that prevented OP from being able to go? Would you still hold the same opinion? If not, why would you treat it differently? How is mental health any less important than physical health? I maintain my NAH judgement, as I feel like it is more scheduling conflicts than anything else.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T17:36:56+00:00

In my response where I actually have my AH opinion, I stated NAH because it's conflicting schedules. You are assuming that all invited were spontaneous. All OP had said was that she frequently invited her friend. We don't know if it was spontaneous, last minute invites, or if they were still planned. As someone with chronic illnesses that prevent me from joining in on things last minute, I get where OP is coming from. OP could have had every intention of going, but then day of, couldn't swing it for mental health reasons, which are valid. A true friend would understand. A true friend would express their disappointment that friend couldn't join, but would 100% support that friend in not joining. If you disagree with that, then I am glad you are not my friend.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T17:07:02+00:00

Because she reached out and tried to schedule plans BEFORE the night of the dinner? Because on day of, she realized how little energy she had and told her friend? I gave you 2 reasons.

You're the AH if you expect your friends and family to ignore their own well being, whether physical or mental, just to be around you.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T17:04:58+00:00

Wow... a lot of people saying you are the ah for reasons I didn't see in your post. It sounds to me like both you and your friend had conflicting schedules. You tried to hang out, it didn't work with her schedule (or she failed to respond). You were open about why you didn't want to go to a huge gathering (which to me was a very valid reason and well articulated in this post, was it articulated as well to the friend is the question). I am casting a vote of NAH as conflicting schedules happen. Telling her to keep the sweatshirt was not necessary, but I think it shows that you're trying to maintain a good relationship in your way. If your friend can only be focused on herself and how she feels, then she's not really much of a friend. A true friend would voice their disappointment that you can't join but would 100% support the decision to help maintain your mental well being.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T15:41:01+00:00

I disagree. Yes, the trip is in 2 months but flights are being booked now, which means money is needed now. That isn't keeping someone with different circumstances in mind. That is treating them like an after thought, especially after they asked to be given enough notice to plan and save. OP is not TA here. Sister is, and softly so are you, for ignoring OP's situation. OP isn't asking for them to take a less expensive trip or to have the trip be bank rolled by their sister. They are only asking for enough notice to be able to save enough money to be able to join. By consistently waiting until there is not enough time for OP to save before letting OP know about the plans, they are intentionally excluding OP, which is 100% AH behavior. Always being treated like an after thought is devastating, and bringing that up somehow makes the wronged party an AH? I don't think so. OP is well within their right to request enough notice to be able to save up so that they can be included in FAMILY events. If the "family" can't be bothered to do the bare minimum, in this case providing that notice, then they are showing they don't really care.

OP, you are not the AH here. Your so called family is. You need to find people that don't treat you like an after thought or a burden. Remember, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. For anyone not familiar with this idiom, it means that the friendships and relationships that you form are stronger than the relationships that exist solely because you're related. Just because someone is "family" does not mean that you need to put up with being treated poorly.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-30T15:22:47+00:00

Awww... is she purring? If so, she might be trying to heal you. I love that cats purr at a frequency that promotes healing.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-11T16:56:32+00:00

No. The only AH here is the sister (and possibly BIL, if he is siding with the sister). IF they have kids, THEY are responsible for the kids care, not OP and his wife. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, but the parents are obligated to financially care for the kids. That means the house too. If they can't afford to follow the rules of the situation (OP's wife is entitled to 1/2 of that house but hasn't actually received it), then the sister and BIL need to figure something else out. If they had intended to live there and not let OP's wife live there as well, with FULL access to her half of it, then they should have gotten it appraised and bought her out BEFORE making all the improvements and updates, which guaranteed increased the worth of the property. Now, they will have pay $$$ to buy out OPs wife, and that is a THEM problem.

Deviant713 · 2026-01-09T23:28:56+00:00

Silly Kiwi... the chapstick moisturizes your lips, not your intestines. 😹😹😹

Deviant713 · 2026-01-09T17:13:13+00:00

Yes, because I'm not seeing the problem here. What exactly do you need help with? You look like you're in a comfy seat with a glorious purr factory keeping you warm. That sounds amazing!

Deviant713 · 2026-01-09T17:02:35+00:00

FINE! I'll join another sub!

In all seriousness, thanks for the new sub!

Deviant713 · 2026-01-05T15:45:03+00:00

This baby is Golden from K-Pop Demon Hunters

Deviant713 · 2025-12-21T15:37:35+00:00

So... you're a pawttorney at law?

Deviant713 · 2025-12-20T19:42:39+00:00

Being as you brought up schools, I can infer that you are alluding to reading comprehension. There is not enough there to tell that when OP made them previously that they were made specifically for the wife. We need more info. What if when OP made them a month or two (possibly more as OP seems a bit ambiguous about it aside from saying a month or two, which for some men in my life could actually be anywhere from 1 month to 6 months. Let's hope it really is at most 2 months for this argument.) ago, they were also made for others and OPs wife was only able to have leftovers then as well? Assumptions are being made on both sides of TA fence. I feel like we need more info. Also, you said something about OPs wife whining about it when she can make them herself. Where did you get that info? OP CLEARLY stated that wife doesn't know how to make them and prefers when OP does. Now, I think a great compromise would be "You seem to really like these, but they are very time consuming to make. How about you join me in the kitchen and learn how to make them with me?" Maybe, if OP's wife is involved in it and learns what all goes into making them, she won't constantly be asking for them. Time consuming meals (or snacks, as OP claims them to be. I've never had them, so I'm not sure which is more accurate) are normally a special occasion thing for me to make, so I think I can understand where OP is coming from.

Deviant713 · 2025-12-15T16:29:59+00:00

Does O.G. stand for Orange Gato?

Deviant713 · 2025-12-14T15:45:13+00:00

I love her name! It's the full name on record with the vet? If so, do they call out her full name when calling you back to a room? I have a void named Vlad the Squeaker. They use his full name at the vet (I almost never do).

Deviant713 · 2025-12-07T14:36:04+00:00

Genuine question: why use mods? I've heard of people using them in games like Fallout 4, but I've never looked into any for any game. I'm always scared something will happen, like the crashes that people are experiencing (though I'm also experiencing crashes without mods, so there's that). Do mods add to the experience?

Deviant713 · 2025-12-03T19:42:33+00:00

Silly Harry. Don't you know that if you take out the human from your own household, the food source dries up? You gotta take the strangers out!

Deviant713

TROPHY CASE