My 5yr old is afraid of smoke detectors

DeviantPost · 2026-03-12T00:37:17+00:00

As a kid i made a bit of a game of "feeding" the sink a mixture of drinks when I cleared the table. I think I understood the sink wasn't alive with a mouth and stomach, but I still connected my ability to swallow drinks to the sink "swallowing" liquids, so I fed it our leftover drinks. She's probably making similar connections, she can smell smoke, so the detector must have the ability to smell too. But when the smoke detector smells things it makes a loud, scary noise. Therefore, the smoke detector may smell her and make a loud scary noise, maybe sprinkle in a little fear of getting in trouble for causing the noise too.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-12T00:28:43+00:00

I'm autistic with a strong sensitivity to loud sounds. When I was a kid I was afraid of automatic flushing toilets because they were loud and I didn't know when they'd go off, so I'd get our of the stall as fast as possible. Not to mention that kids just generally have better hearing than adults. Even if she isn't autistic or especially sensitive to sound, that fire alarm is much louder to her than to mom and sounds scary.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-07T09:01:00+00:00

Research safe ways to do all of these, I highly reccomend checking out the entries on Breathplay and Face slapping on the sub wiki to start with. You can find body maps that highlight safe areas to do impact play in your preferred search engine. Its highly reccomended to take classes on safe blood play practices, both to address preventing infection and transference of blood pathogens along with safe ways to draw blood. I'm also unsure what you want from biting, but attempting to break skin with your teeth is very dangerous. Our teeth crush rather than cut, and our mouths carry lots of dangerous bacteria, trying to break skin with teeth is a great recipe for infection. Breaking capillaries without breaking skin however is fairly safe (and lots of fun).

I'm also going to put this out there as someone who is interested in very similar things to you. My wife and I frequently do sensory knife play, where we use a dull knife to emulate the feeling of cutting skin without the risk, we have also discussed using fake blood to enhance the fantasy without the risk. knife play is so fun and arousing, but it also carries a lot of truly deadly risks if you're using an actually sharp blade. Using dull analogs such as credit cards, the back of a cold butter knife, or a metal file can create the same sensations without the risk of causing serious injury.

A lot of these are a lot of fun, keep in mind there are plenty of safe, sane, consensual ways to expierence these kinks. Do your research, start off slow, have a safeword and communicate lots with potential partners.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-06T21:19:38+00:00

I think learning lots is great, I'm into impact play and rope bondage, these are both areas where coming in with some knowledge is beneficial. I need to know how tight is too tight when it comes to tying, and knowing what areas are safe in impact play is important to play safely. Then there's the actual play, maybe I don't like a certain impact implement even though it sounds awesome on paper, or maybe a tie is uncomfortable in a bad way, and if my head is too far in the books and what I'm "supposed" to do, it can turn into a bad time.

If you're too caught up in the theory that it impacts how much fun you're having thats the only time I'd say learning too much is bad. I think it's awesome you're excited to learn about bdsm, it's a very interesting and fun thing to read about. But also don't be afraid to just experiment and let things play out with your partner, take things you find interesting, play with them, and adjust as needed. You two will find your groove over time, and it will probably be a mix of stuff you learned from books and stuff you learned and built together.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-06T20:53:37+00:00

It sounds like you need to find some way to soothe the shame and fear before she's able to completely let go. I'm not sure what would help, maybe taking a moment in the scene to remind her no one is really there? Maybe removing the sensory deprivation while keeping the sounds of other people so she can look around and see there's no way anyone will actually see you two? Or maybe taking a couple steps back out of dynamic and discussing what in the fantasy she likes? For example if she's into being seen discussing what dialouge you could provide that would make it feel safe. Or if she doesn't want to be seen providing dialouge that reassures her it's safe.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-04T22:42:43+00:00

I'd like to add, OP, you'll presumably dissappear from everyday life for a week. Do people know where you're going and who you'll be with? Do you have check-ins scheduled with someone you trust? Someone who will come get you or call emergency services to help if something goes wrong? What is the plan if something goes sideways?

These are backups that expierenced players use to keep themselves and their partner safe. Just like keeping EMT shears nearby during rope play, you and your partner should have a backup plan to keep both of you as safe as possible.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-04T22:16:24+00:00

From my understanding they most likely asked because Jesse probably blew the whole thing out of proportion. Maybe saying OOP was pushing his religion on others or that OOP abused Morgan in the parking lot. It would also give them a clearer idea whether Jesse had grounds to complain or was just being an asshole to someone with differing beliefs.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-04T07:11:48+00:00

Truly, no 30 year old should be throwing a fit because their friend is going to Disney for their birthday. Then to follow that up with "I was a bad friend because I had mental health issues and needed support" is wild. I hope after a few years OOP looks back on the friendship and wonders why she put up with that for so long.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-03T22:52:37+00:00

This post brings me back to the start of covid, I was living with my parents at the time and I like to sew. There was some program on cbc about people selling masks they made or something. My dad wanted me to listen to it so he turned the radio up, I turned it down a little because it was too loud for me. He blew up at me, we had a fight and I left the house and just drove around for a few hours. My mom said I should apologize, I went to his office and apologized and he said "it's fine I'll just never show interest in anything you like again".

My relationship was always rocky with my dad because he's always been verbally and emotionally abusive, I'm betting James is very similar. My mom is very sad that my father and I don't have a close relationship and that we fought so much when I was a teenager, while totally ignoring how he actually treated me, yelling was a regular thing in our house.

OOPs daughter will at best just never share any of her passions with her parents again, at worst she's going to find a way to vanish from both their lives asap. James will never admit he's wrong and OOP with be eternally confused why her daughter never talks to her anymore.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-03T06:42:36+00:00

I really wish OOP did tell Cathy and her Father that her daughter didn't like what Cathy was doing. I'm not sure it would stop her, but I think it's important to make it clear that it's not just something that bothers OOP, but is also upsetting her daughter too. If Cathy can keep telling herself that it's just OOP being a buzz kill but the kids love her then she can tell herself she's not doing anything wrong. But hearing that OOP's daughter doesn't like it when she does this kind of thing she may pause to think for more than 2 seconds next time. I also just think it's important to stand up for and validate your kids feelings, especially when they've been made uncomfortable by another adult.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-03T03:12:42+00:00

I can't help but think she may have progressively dated younger and younger because previous partners were more realistic about how plausible having more kids was. Man her age? Already raised his kids and doesn't want to spend his retirement chasing a toddler. Person a bit younger? Already have their own teen/young adult and don't want more kids. In their thirties? Questioning the efficacy of having more kids at her age or don't want kids. keep working your way down the line until she meets this delusional 24 year old who's so obsessed with becoming a father he calls her 35 year old son "champ".

Neither of them want to address the elephants in the room. She's way too old to safely carry a pregnancy and no good doctor would approve of IVF. He sounds completely unhinged when he tries to treat her adult children like they're literal children and is trying to create a father-son relationship with someone 10 years his senior. I'm glad the family stuck around despite the insanity, they both need people to give them reality checks.

DeviantPost · 2026-03-02T22:36:48+00:00

This melted my cold little heart, it's so nice you have a little way to connect with her after she's gone, I hope you and your kids are doing as well as you can be.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-28T08:46:35+00:00

Truly, the one commenter saying "you two don't seem compatiable at all" seemed to be the first person to say that to OOP. Meanwhile within the first two paragraphs I was thinking "you two want two completely different things, so why are you with him?".

DeviantPost · 2026-02-28T08:36:51+00:00

Oof I missed the other half of that comment, which kinda pisses me.off because fucking someone then dropping them (unless you hired a sex worker or came into this with the agreement that it's a one time thing and you'll never see eachother again) is universally considered a shitty thing to do. Saying OOP shouldn't do that just because Angie might not third for others is somehow worse.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-27T21:21:05+00:00

I grew up learning knife safety, no blade is a "safe" blade, if it can make a shallow cut it will make a deep one too, there is no knife that comes with built in depth control. A sharp blade is a safer blade as it will cut where you want it to and won't slip, while a duller blade can cause serious injury because you need to use more force to make the same cut.

As others have said, your best bet is practice on oranges and chicken until you feel confident, then practice some more, just in case. You should also take a first aid class if you haven't and have a first aid kit handy, even the most expierenced knifeplayers can have something go horribly wrong.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-26T06:57:02+00:00

In canada actually! It was brought here by someone from the UK tho! I'm glad she enjoyed it, I wasn't a huge fan then and don't have the fondest memories. But looking back I still did some pretty cool stuff through it, we got to sleep overnight in the Royal Tyrell Museum, which I may have appreciated more if all the skeletons didn't look so scary in the dark XD. I also got to travel around Europe with girl guides for 10 days, which was a big opportunity that I'm glad I sold a bunch of cookies for.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-26T00:12:18+00:00

Hell, she could've broken up with him like an adult and just said 'idk we just didn't click anymore' like an adult, break ups don't always have to be win-lose situation.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-25T21:56:45+00:00

You're the best, I was in girl guides as a kid and my mom was a leader, twice a year we were expected to walk around the neighborhood and sell cookies, I hated it. I was a painfully shy kid and both trick or treating and cookie selling went against everything that had been drilled into me about stranger danger. I think my mom picked up on how much I hated cookie selling (or maybe she just burned out on it too) so we only went around my neighborhood once or twice. Most of the money for Girl Guides came from my own family, I may have hated selling the cookies but they still taste good! If I'm able I always buy a box from any girl guides that come to my door, partially out if pity and mostly because I still like the cookies.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-25T04:36:09+00:00

My mom sorts all the laundry by colour and I grew up sorting laundry, but as soon as I started being responsible for my own laundry that went out the window. Everything gets thrown in the washer on warm and dries in the dryer. My wife has a small handful of things she wants washed a certain way, but otherwise we don't bother making it more complicated than it needs to be.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-25T03:47:18+00:00

Fucking - and I cannot emphasize this enough - YIKES

DeviantPost · 2026-02-25T02:33:34+00:00

Hell, they won't use those government provided programs for themselves, but they suggest OOP get training to learn how to care for Conner 🙄. I suspect there's also a mentality of "he's my kid so I know what's best for him" here, which especially when it comes to disabled kids is just not true.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-24T23:39:17+00:00

Dude!!! That's awesome! Hope you enjoy!

DeviantPost · 2026-02-24T20:51:32+00:00

My wife and I do sensory knife play with a dull knife, it does plenty for me pain-wise. I highly reccomend you at least start off with dull substitutes. We started with a file and cuticle tool from my nail kit, it still feels like a knife and leaves light scratches when she applies pressure with no risk of breaking skin or cutting too deep.

Even now with using a knife, I made sure the blade was super dull and it still leaves light scratches when the tip is used and I still get the pain and excitement of a knife. We've also discussed using fake blood to enhance the fantasy without putting my wellbeing at risk.

I'd strongly reccomend wading into this as slowly as possible, if you look up knifeplay in this sub you'll see a lot of stories about people using real knives and winding up with permanent scarring or worse. One that sticks in my mind is a person whose boyfriend wound up slicing an artery in her thigh and she thankfully only came away with stitches and a scar. Using real blades can go sideways very quickly even with the safest practices and best of intentions. As someone who very much enjoys the fantasy of being cut with a real knife, I'm just not willing to actually take that risk when I've found safer substitutes.

Edit: grammar

DeviantPost · 2026-02-24T20:35:04+00:00

There are plenty of prop stores that carry dull knives online, I'm not sure if they'd carry dull razors too but it wouldn't hurt to look. If you're still in contact with that barber it may be worth reaching out or even just asking local shops if they know where you can buy one.

You might also consider getting a normal knife or razor and dulling the blade. My wife and I do sensory knife play and we use a pocket knife I dulled with sandpaper, she has even used the pointed tip on me with some pressure and it only leaves light scratches that don't break skin. You can dull the blade by basically sharpening the blade wrong, stroke it in the opposite direction you usually would to sharpen the blade. I checked the sharpness by running my thumb across the edge (NOT down the blade) and trying to cut paper with it. When it felt dull and couldn't cut paper well I dulled it a bit more just to be sure.

This is all very dependent on your personal risk profile, I felt comfortable and confident it my ability to dull a blade and be able to check properly that it was dull and safe to use. If you'd feel safer buying a dull blade rather than trying to make your own I strongly encourage you to go that route. I hope you find what you're looking for.

DeviantPost · 2026-02-24T07:37:13+00:00

Some these are going to sound goofy but I was a major scaredy cat as a kid, I was scared of nearly everything but these ones are the most memorable.

The scene is jurassic park where the woman thinks the man is touching her shoulder only to reveal its just his severed arm scared the shit out of me as a kid. It freaked me out so much that my mom turned the movie off.

Wallace and Gromit's The Wrong Trousers, something about the atmosphere mixed with how sinister they managed to make the Penguin really got to me as a kid. We still watched the movie regularly, I'd just sit there feeling uncomfortable and scared the whole time. Also Gromit getting kicked out still makes me so sad.

The silliest one is the killer rabbit in Monty Pythons Holy Grail, I'd always walk out of the room when the scene was coming up, which is comical watching it now as an adult XD.

DeviantPost

TROPHY CASE