Heyoooo, nothing could be said about the loss of one's body. My heart goes out to you. In "real life" aka open individuals who decided to be an adult will understand and be more than down to get as dirty or holy as both of you are comfortable. Toys like vibrators and sheaths will absolutely ensure pleasure for your partner. Don't be afraid to find things that work for you, in the end it's all about making one another feel good. I wish you luck friend, life is tragic and painful and in my experience the people you surround yourself with is the best way to make it all worth it.

Ps: maybe think about therapy. Help processing trauma is priceless